Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

Here’s another book that’s been hanging around my shelves for far too long without a review.

Your Beauty Mark: The Ultimate Guide to Eccentric Glamour by Dita Von Tease with Rose Apodaca, 2015.

I’ll be perfectly honest; I did not have high hopes for this book. I thought Dita’s first book, Burlesque and the Art of the Teese/Fetish and the Art of the Teese, while very pretty, was a bit superficial and self-indulgant.

I was very pleasantly surprised that this book is packed with useful information. As to be expected, it’s full of glamourous pictures of Dita, but also some more practical demonstration ones. Besides just Dita, her co-author also offers beauty advice and there are sidebars from a number of other experts and eccentrics in the world of glamour.

There are a lot of topics in each section, but broken into bite-sized bits. As one would expect, the book covers makeup and hair styling, both of which are illustrated with photos of Dita demonstrating. I thought it very impressive that someone whose brand is based on artifice was willing to appear “undone”.

The first part is the most eclectic, covering skin care, fitness, nutrition, bathing, the bosom, hair removal, and perfume. Dita demonstrates her pilates-style workouts in photographs and shares her recipe for a green smoothie.

The second part is on cosmetics. She starts at the base with foundation and powder. The eye chapter has a lot about the cat eye, but also lashes, including false ones. Brows have their own chapter, as does blush, beauty marks (hers is a tattoo), lipstick, and manicures, including how to do Dita’s half-moon style, courtesy of “Mom Von Teese”. Throughout there are photos of Dita putting on her makeup. The last chapter of this section is a bit different, called “Striking Below the Waist”, it has very little to do with cosmetics. Instead, it discusses care for the waist, bum, legs and feet. There is the expected how-to for a pedicure, but also a discussion of stockings and a little about corsets. Lastly there are several pages on pubic hair and the styling thereof.

The third part is on hair. You’ll learn about cleaning and conditioning hair and hair tools and products. Of course there is a discussion of hair coloring; Dita is quite open that her blue-black locks come from a bottle. As with the makeup section, Dita demonstrates a number of her favored hairstyles, including her signature ‘do, in photographs

The fourth and last part is extreme forms of beauty — cosmetic surgery and stage makeup. Dita is quite honest about her breast augmentation. She is in favor of having work done, if it’s right for you and if you do a lot of research to find the doctor that’s right for you. And, she does point out that embracing your “flaws” make you unique. She outlines the lengths she goes to to create a flawless façade on stage, including covering herself neck to toe in body makeup that she blends herself. Having handled one of her costumes, I can confirm that the inside was daubed with pale foundation. She also gives tips for removing makeup, both the stray smudges and flecks that could mar your handiwork and how to get it all off afterwards.

As I said above, I was surprised and quite delighted about the amount of useful information in this rather weighty tome. Yes, Dita does take opportunities to shill her products, but one expects the reader to already be a Dita fan. Although she shows her signature styles and discusses her beauty regimines in detail, she does encourage the reader to find their own style of glamour — thus Your Beauty Mark.

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