Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Keep a snack in your dance bag.

You never know when you might be hit with a blood sugar crash at rehearsal or when traffic on the way to a gig is so bad that you don’t have time to grab dinner.

I like nuts because they keep well, are high in protein, low in sugar, and aren’t messy. I can just toss a small packet into my bag until I need it. Fruit is pretty good too, but it’s not like you can just keep an peach in your bag for a couple of weeks until the need arises.

Last year I shared my recipe for a nut mix. These days I make it with hazelnuts instead of walnuts and often cut out the chocolate. I buy raw nuts in bulk and toast them, but that’s just me. I think they taste better toasted, but some like them raw.

If you’re buying packets of nuts, make sure they’re not prepared with oil (greasy!) or salted (just what you don’t want if you’re performing…) or sweetened (we’re trying to avoid crashing).

Dear Constant Reader,

This tip is a hard one to practice, probably the hardest one I’ve given you yet. I have a lot of trouble with it myself.

Don’t take rejection personally.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I just discovered I missed noting my 200th Friday Tip, so let’s celebrate magical number 203! Here’s it is!

If you spill beads or rhinestones on carpet, put a old stocking over the end of the hose attachment on your vacuum cleaner and suck them back to safety.

Spilling your sparklies is no fun at all, but it happens. If your workspace has a hard floor, you can easily sweep them up, but carpet pile traps your tiny shiny things. No one wants to pick them up one by one. Fortunately, it’s easy to rescue them!

Secure the stocking foot over the hose with a rubber band. Don’t stretch it too tight; you actually want a little of the stocking to get sucked inside the hose to make a cup. Then start vacuuming. Before turning the power off, turn the end of the hose up, so the rhinestones don’t fall out once the suction is cut off. Then turn the hose down over a container and the stray stones will fall out. Repeat until you’ve gotten all the little buggers out of the carpet.

And that’s why they call me The Martha Stewart of Burlesque.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! This week’s tip is one I was sure I had given you before, but I guess I didn’t.

Before using anything messy on stage (water, glitter, blood, tissue paper butterflies, &c.) check with the producer *first* for approval. If you get permission, bring whatever supplies are needed to protect the stage and clean up afterwards.

Be considerate of your fellow performers as well as the venue! You don’t want to leave anything on stage that could stain their costumes or cause them to slip. You might need a tarp to contain your detritus, especially if it’s liquid, or a broom or vacuum cleaner, which is the only way to really get rid of glitter.

When I do “French Champagne“, I bring 2 small oriental rugs with rubberized bottoms to catch the champagne I pour over myself. After Red Rum’s mummy number, the stage is covered with talcum powder, but she brings a shop vac to get it all up. Vivi Noir does a glitter pour inside a bath tub. There’s all sorts of creative ways you can keep your mess from messing up anyone else.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! It’s been pouring here in Boston, so let me see if I can come up with a thematic tip… Got it! Here’s your tip:

If you work with liquid in your act, even just a little, remember to pack a towel (for drying off afterward), a plastic bag (for wet costume items), and something to protect the stage (a tarp, a rug, a bathmat, &c.).

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

It’s just fabric. Go ahead and cut it.

I can’t be the only one who gets paralyzed at the thought of cutting into some gorgeous fabric and so the costume project gets delayed and delayed from fear of ruining the material.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Improvisation requires rehearsal.

Improvisation is a skill and thus needs practice like any other sort of stagecraft. The ability to improvise an act is not the same as just getting up on stage and winging it. You need to practice the abilities that make it possible to go out on stage, make up a dance, and look like it’s easy.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday. Here’s your tip!

Rhinestones are like precious gems. Surround them with a secure setting, using extra glue.

You can see to the left, as I repair my favorite Amber Ray hair flower, that I let some of the glue ooze out from under the stone. It may look awful at the moment, but it dried clear (always use a glue that dries clear…) and now I can’t even tell which stone it was.

You are creating a bezel (ring-shaped setting) that will cradle your rhinestone and keep it securely in place. You want just enough extra glue to surround the stone without squishing all over the place. And you’ll have the added security of knowing that the back of the stone is completely coated in glue.