Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

We’re down to the final days! It’s your last chance to vote for The Boston Babydolls for “Best Theatre Group” and B.A.B.E. for “Best Dance Classes“!

We were back on the road and back to Pennsylvania. The crew this time was your humble correspondent, Scratch, Brigitte, and Betty. We didn’t have a show on Friday night, so things we a little more relaxed. Nor did we hit the godawful traffic that we did on the way to the Jersey Shore. It was, however, unbelievably hot.

The plan was to stop in Scranton, PA for the night. We’d been hoping to book a show half way between Boston and Johnstown, but the timing didn’t work out, so we had some R&R instead. First stop, The Houdini Museum.

I’m still not clear on the Houdini/Scranton connection, but what the heck. It’s one of those tiny, crowded, labor-of-love museums, with some real gems. One room has items arranged roughly chronologically to illustrate Houdini’s career and the other has more eclectic artifacts. There’s a *lot* of ephemera (programs, posters, photos, clippings, &c).

The gems, in my opinion, were the personal items: huge gold-leaf frames containing photograph portraits of Rabbi and Mrs. Weiss (Houdini’s parents) that hung in Houdini’s house, one of Bess Houdini’s costumes (Betty examined it pretty closely and said it was finely appliqued and the beads were larger than she expected), a vest of Houdini’s with a card-raising gimmick sewn into the pocket, but the one that struck me the most was a tallit (a prayer shawl). It’s unknown if it was Houdini’s personal item or if it belonged to his father, but Houdini kept it at his house. I know that’s not very magical, but it’s very human.

Scratch, using his super-restaurant sense, picked Stirna’s (since 1908) for dinner. Everything was awfully good, especially the chive-parmesan salad dressing, and dessert was included. I could only finish one of the lovely little brownies, so I asked the waitress to wrap up the other. She slipped another one in the box, so it wouldn’t be lonely.

Scratch wanted to check out a potential venue (which turned out to have no potential for a burlesque show) and then we kind of lamely thought about going back to the hotel. Then we saw this mysterious light and decided to check it out.

It’s high atop the Electrical Building. The real thing is much less blurry, and blinks. After reading a plaque about why Scranton was The Electric City, we wandered around gawking at the amazing architecture. Downtown Scranton has some incredible buildings; the Courthouse looks like Hogwarts. Brigitte was sure that every elaborately carved stone edifice was the University of Scranton, so we kept walking and looking.

  
This is us under the appropriate entrances to a former school (they say “Girls” and “Boys”; I know the pictures aren’t great).

Then we walked past the Masonic Temple — heck, it was a Masonic Cathedral! It appeared to be the happenin’ place on a Friday night in Scranton. Someone overheard our wonderings about some of the buildings and gave us a little orientation, pointed out where the University of Scranton actually was located, explained that everyone pouring out of the Masonic Temple had just been to hear Lamas chanting, and recommended a nearby place for drinks.

We had seen Posh at The Scranton Club on our walk but figured we were too grubby for what looked like a classy joint. After being assured we were dressed just fine, we decided to go. The cocktails were fabulous — and you know I’m not a big drinker. I had a “Hemingwayish” of white rum, St. Germain, orange bitters, honey, muddled strawberries, and lime juice. Just lovely on a sultry evening.

Scratch had a long chat with the owners about performing there in the future, possibly even sooner rather than later. And then it was time for all little Babydolls (and Betty) to go to bed and be well-rested for the drive to Johnstown on the morrow.

Dear Constant Reader,

Vote for The Boston Babydolls for “Best Theatre Group” and B.A.B.E. for “Best Dance Classes“!

Buy your tickets to The Teaseday Club on July 9th in my name!

When last we left our intrepid burlesquers, we had conquered Asbury Park and then Pittsburgh. Now it’s time for the long trek home.

This missive is going to be long. Appropriate as it was the longest day. Not really, because the previous day had been the Summer Solstice; this just *felt* like the longest day ever.

I have to supply a little backstory here. Part of the reason we played Pittsburgh (other than because Chris really wanted to see us) was that Scratch had to get some stuff out of storage near by. Early Sunday morning we were to pick up a trailer, load it up, get back on the road and have everyone snug in their beds by midnight or so.

Saturday afternoon Scratch got a call from U-Haul in some town in PA we’d never heard of asking why he hadn’t picked up his trailer at noon. Uh-oh. He called the place we were supposed to go, but they didn’t know anything and didn’t have a trailer for us. Apparently U-Haul thinks switching reservations without notifying the customer is okay.

Then there was a fruitless call to the local customer service which ended with the bitchy supervisor refusing to acknowledge that there was a problem and hanging up on us. Fortunately we reached Dee, a saint at the national customer service, who was bound and determined to make this right. The best she could do was a trailer at a place near our hotel (yay!) which didn’t open until noon (boo). Still, something is better than nothing.

The glitch in our plans wasn’t all bad. We slept in a bit Sunday morning and then went to Hugger Mugger Tasty Recipes for cinnamon groovy-cakes with warm hyrup (that’s exactly what the menu says! Why would I make this stuff up?). Then Scratch took us to Living Treasure Animal Park to make up for skipping Reptileland, Penn’s Cave, and all the other attractions we could only stare at longingly from the car window.

It was a fun little zoo. We fed and pet many baby animals. The picture shows Stella determined to feed a baby goat which kept getting shoved out of the way by its elders. But she stood firm and made sure the little one only got his treat. Everyone was quite charmed by the tiny deer and amazed by the horns on the Watusi cattle. And we got to pet a baby kangaroo.

I tried to get the ostrich to hand over just a couple of feathers, but it was having none of it. There was a gorgeous black leopard (one could see its spots in the sunlight!) that rolled over as though to have its belly rubbed, just like a certain cat we left back in Boston. We just had time for a quick pass in the gift shop before we had to hit the road again. You can see Brigitte trying on a new boa.

We were delighted that our trailer was actually where it was supposed to be. And then I had to get under the car to unhitch the cargo carrier, so the trailer could go on. Touring is so glamourous! After some tense moments when there were issues with the hitching, we were good to go! Off to the storage unit, where loading up was fast and easy, thanks to Stella & Brigitte who worked hard despite having no connection to the stuff in storage. The GPS said we’d be back in Boston just before midnight.

Midnight. Ha ha.

It was a long, long drive. We tried to keep the driver awake and each other entertained. A sampling of the frequently heard in the Babydoll-mobile:

“Hey, more roadkill!”
“Look at all the fucks I do not give.”
“BBBBOOOOOBBBBB!” “EEEEEDDDDDDD!“
“I’m so happy I’m shooting my dick off.”
(sung)”We are never, ever, ever getting out of Pennsylvania.”
“SCOTCH!!”
“We are totally trending right now.”
“Google, you two-faced whore!”
“#rimshot”
“Al-bert!”

Late in the evening, still in PA (as we were for most of the trip), seeking dinner, we ended up in a biker bar. We feared this was going to be a big mistake, but the bartender was very welcoming, the kitchen was open, and the wings were quite good.

Under the super-moon we drove and drove.

At some godawful hour we finally got to the Pike, and even more godawful hours later everyone was home. I tumbled into bed at 4:30am. The drive was hellish, it was epic, but it was also fun. Stella & Brigitte are great traveling companions and I would totally do it again. And will — we’re playing Johnstown, PA in July and the Ohio Burlesque Festival in August.

Dear Constant Reader,

We have return from our triumphant tour of the South (NJ & PA are south of Boston…). I have so much to tell you, but I think it shall wait. 2 and a half hours of sleep do not make for fine prose.