Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I was just out for a walk and the trees are covered with blossoms. Spring is such a brief and lovely thing in New England! This week’s tip is:

There is no set order in which to remove your costume pieces.

Sure, sometimes you have to remove one garment to get to another, like shoes before stockings, or it will be easier for you to manipulate a fastening if you’re not wearing your gloves at that point. However, there is absolutely no reason to follow the “canonical” striptease of gloves>gown>bra if you don’t want to. It changes the audience’s expectations.

When I created my Lizzie Borden act, over a decade ago, I used to take the blood-stained apron off as the very first thing, then the skirt, then the blouse. Very pedestrian. Very much like getting undressed for bed. Now I take off the blouse and the skirt under the apron. It’s a bit more challenging, but there’s more tease. And the audience can have a little surprise when the apron finally comes off.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 3 May 2024 at 4:21 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Review: Punk Rock Aerobics

Dear Constant Reader,

Your Faithful Correspondent is laid up in bed with some sort of bug (I’m doing better, just very tired) and since I can’t seem to bring myself to do any of the active things had planned for the day, how about a book review.

Punk Rock Aerobics by Maura Jasper and Hilken Mancini, 2004.

Wait, you say, is this our refined Miss Mina writing of punk rock? You many not believe this, but as a dainty young thing I could be found in the mosh pit at an all-ages hardcore club. I still retain a great deal of affection for the music. And you know how I love creative workouts.

I encountered Punk Rock Aerobics last fall whilst I was working on the Boston Public Library Passport Challenge (a missive for another day). The Parker Hill branch of the BPL was celebrating “Punk Rock Week” and I decided it give the it a whirl. I had a lot of sweaty fun and picked up the book.

The creators hated traditional fitness classes and gyms, but wanted to get in shape. After becoming certified aerobics instructors, like true punks, they tossed everything out and developed their own gritty workouts with moves like “skank” and “Iggy’s pop”. However, many of the exercises are ones you would recognize, just with punkier names, like the “unnatural axe” is a hamstring stretch.

The book takes you through the equipment needed, including good sneakers, a mat, water, weights (they use bricks) and then progresses through the vocabulary: stretches (both warm-up and cool-down), cardio, strength training (standing and on the floor). All of these are illustrated with black and white photos. The cardio moves are classified as hi-fi or lo-fi (high or low impact) or both. Difficulty is rated with skulls. “Hand-written” notes give helpful tips.

After an extensive tour of the moves, they show you how to create workouts. Pick three cardio moves (a mix of hi & lo-fi) and a song, which they call combo-hatching. You’ll be doing the three moves over and over to the song. Fortunately, punk songs are pretty short, so there will be a lot of variety in each cardio section. Then string your combos together into rock blocks. Choose your stretches and strength moves and put them all together into a workout of your desired length. Don’t panic, there are plenty of examples of combos and sample workouts.

The last chapter is tips on how to sustain your fitness practice. Throughout the book there are Q & A’s with musicians about their fitness routines and the authors recommend movies and albums for inspiration. The tone of the book overall is, as you might imagine, irreverent, but encouraging.

It’s hard to learn physical skills from a book, so I wouldn’t recommend this to a fitness novice. But if you’ve got some exercise experience, this is a fun way to shake things up.

A live PRA class ends with the instructors lobbing mini-candy bars at you, so give yourself a sweet treat when you’re done sweating.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 29 April 2024 at 11:04 am  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s Friday again! I try to makes these tips practical or uplifting — more “do”s than “don’t”s, but that’s not the case this week.

Sometimes people just suck.

There are people in the burlesque scene who seem to derive pleasure from attacking others and rallying others to do similar. Sometimes those who do not join in or speak in opposition become targets themselves.

I don’t have any solutions. Just that if you have been the victim of one of these campaigns, you have my sympathies. If you are considering jumping on the bandwagon, think about the facts of the situation and form your own opinion before spouting someone else’s line.

There are much more important things in the world to be outraged about than the drama du jour, which, if taken far enough, can not only drive people out of the burlesque scene, but permanently damage their reputations and even livelihoods.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Welcome to my newest Patron, Danielle Colby! Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 26 April 2024 at 5:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip:

Make sure your jewelry and your act are compatible.

I don’t just mean that the jewelry coordinates with your costume. Rhinestone jewelry is notoriously catchy; check that you aren’t going to snag delicate fabrics on the settings (I have a tip that can help!). Can you wear bracelets with your gloves and still do a smooth peel? Does your necklace look good with the different necklines of your costume layers? Do your earrings get tangled in your hair after some vigorous floorwork? Try it all out in advance and you’ll look polished on stage.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 19 April 2024 at 5:04 pm  Leave a Comment  
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In the Kitchen: Furmenty

Dear Constant Reader,

I’ve briefly left Fannie Farmer to cook with Mrs. Crocombe. The latest Victorian Way video from English Heritage has her cooking furmenty. I immediately perked up because we have a lot of wheat berries left over from Christmas Eve dinner when I made kutya. Kutya is a traditional Ukrainian Christmas Eve dessert made from wheat berries cooked in almond milk, then baked with dried fruit, nuts, ground poppy seeds, and honey. As we could only find the wheat berries in a five pound bag, I’ve got lots in the pantry.

What is furmenty? Also spelled “frumenty” (and apparently “furmity”), it’s a wheat-based dish that goes back to the middle ages. The medieval version was savory and served as a side-dish, usually with venison. Here’s a recipe from Forme of Cury, a 14th century manuscript:

FOR TO MAKE FURMENTY. Nym clene Wete and bray it in a morter wel that the holys gon al of and seyt yt til it breste and nym yt up. and lat it kele and nym fayre fresch broth and swete mylk of Almandys or swete mylk of kyne and temper yt al. and nym the yolkys of eyryn. boyle it a lityl and set yt adoun and messe yt forthe wyth fat venyson and fresh moton.
(To make furmenty. Take clean wheat and grind it in a morter well that the hulls are gone all off and simmer it until it bursts and take it up.  And let it cool and take fair fresh broth and sweet milk of almonds or sweet milk of cows and mix it all. and take the yolks of eggs. Boyle it a little and set it down and serve it forth with fat venison and fresh mutton.)

The Victorian version is sweeter and served as a dessert. It’s very simple and it’s the sort of recipe you wouldn’t find in a cookbook, as Mrs. Crocombe says “nobody writes down the everyday”.

You need:
Furmenty IngredientsWheat berries, some form of dairy, spices, dried fruit, eggs, and sweetener.

Cook wheat berries. I rinsed mine and then simmered them in water for an hour until tender. You can also soak them overnight to reduce the cooking time or use a pressure cooker. Let cool. You can do this step a couple of days ahead of time.

When you’re ready to prepare the dish, first soak some raisins or currents (I used both!) in hot water or a bit of booze to plump them up. Cook the wheat with milk or cream (I split the difference and used half & half) until hot, then add in the drained dried fruit and spices (I used cinnamon and nutmeg, but you could use pumpkin pie spice).

Add beaten eggs. The instructions with the video recommended “cooking them off the heat if you like a just-cooked result, or on it if you prefer your eggs scrambled.” I do not like my eggs scrambled, but I wanted to make sure they were cooked, so I tempered them with a bit of the hot milk before adding to the pot and cooking for a bit.

Serve with sugar to taste. My taste is not very sweet, so I didn’t add any. Honey or agave would work too and probably blend better.

It was very good! Thick and creamy with some chew from the wheat and fruit. I used half the recipe from the video and got a *lot*. I probably could have cut it in half again and still had some leftovers. A couple of days later I added some chopped dried apricots and warmed the remaining frumenty up. Scratch had the brilliant idea of adding a little candied blood orange peel on top. I also had the last of it for breakfast and it was a nice change from my usual oatmeal.

If I made it again (and why not, it was pretty darn easy), I would add other dried fruits and some toasted nuts, maybe a touch of ginger with the spices. Oh, or maybe chopped crystalized ginger.

Furmenty

Here’s the recipe as I made it, adapted from English Heritage.
Furmenty a la Mrs. Crocombe
1/2 lb. wheat berries (about 1 cup)
2 cups half & half (or milk or cream)
2 ounces raisins
2 ounces currants
Brandy (or hot water or rum or wine or other spirits)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1 egg
Sugar (or honey or agave or maple syrup)

Cook wheat berries as directed until tender. I rinsed mine and simmered in 3 1/2 cups water for an hour. Drain. Reserve until ready to cook.

Pour brandy over dried fruit until just covered. Let soak.

Heat wheat and half & half together until hot. Don’t boil.

Drain fruit and add to mixture with spices. Blend very well to incorporate the spices.

Crack egg into a small bowl and beat well. Gradually add some of the hot liquid while beating further. Pour the tempered egg mixture into the pot and stir well until all is combined and hot. It will thicken quite a bit.

Sweeten to taste and serve warm.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 16 April 2024 at 2:30 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Review: Carol Doda Topless at the Condor

Dear Constant Reader,

Carol Doda movie posterLast week I saw the documentary Carol Doda Topless at the Condor. By the way, what a pleasure it is to see a movie in a theatre! I found out the movie was playing near us at about the last minute and I’m glad the timing worked out so that we were able to see it. It’s not about burlesque per se, but the transitional period of adult entertainment between burlesque and the neo-burlesque revival.

Carol Doda was a cocktail waitress at the San Francisco night spot the Condor Club in North Beach in the early 1960s. Once the management saw how well the audience reacted to her dancing to the band, they had her dance on stage, or rather on the piano, since there wasn’t room on stage. One of the owners decided that the piano should descend from the ceiling with Carol on it and that became her signature.

On June 19, 1964 Carol Doda donned a monokini (topless swimsuit) and descended on the piano into history as the first topless dancer.  A topless craze followed which changed the trajectory of entertainment. San Francisco became a mecca for tourists and conventioneers and the Condor was the hottest night spot. Carol Doda was so synonymous with the Condor that a giant image of her adorned the exterior of the club (with flashing red lights for nipples) as well as her name, seemingly where ever there was a blank bit of wall.

The documentary consists of archival footage (of which there is an absolute wealth), present day interviews with people who knew Carol, and modern academics to put parts of the story into context. Although the main subject of the documentary is obviously Carol Doda and her role as the pioneering topless and then bottomless dancer, there are other topics to flesh out the story, such as Rudi Gernreich, the futurist fashion designer who created the monokini*, the origins of The Swim dance, nightlife in North Beach, local musicians, interracial relationships (with some very painful stories), the myth of bra burning, &c. It doesn’t always mesh with the main theme of the film, but it’s all interesting.

One of the most important subjects of the film was Carol Doda’s breasts. When she first became a sensation, she had modestly-sized breasts, but, knowing that as topless dancing became more common, she needed to set herself apart from all the others. Thus she opted** to enlarge her breasts. At the time that meant silicone injections. Be warned: there is some seriously disturbing contemporary footage of a woman undergoing the procedure and a horrific story from one of the interviewees. Carol endured 44 shots of silicone, until even her doctor was telling her to stop, bringing her bust to a 44DD.

Both she and the Condor were massive successes. They had a symbiotic relationship, which ended when Carol asked for more pay for her twelve shows a night. She also asked to buy into the club (which one of the owners laughingly dismissed, even today). She left, but the Condor continued to use her name and likeness and thrived. Eventually she returned, having never found the same success elsewhere.

In 1969 she went bottomless, again the first to do so. Her arrests for indecency had lead to a judicial verdict that topless dancing was legal, but bottomless dancing was eventually ruled illegal by the California Alcoholic Beverages Commission.

She worked as an adult entertainer until the mid-’80s, as North Beach became sleazier and the almost innocent fun of topless go-go dancing to a live band was replaced with full nude dancing to canned music, live sex shows, and porn movies. She continued performing, albeit with her clothes on, for most of the rest of her life, even as her health failed. As you’ve probably suspected, the health issues that caused her death in 2015 were related to those silicone shots decades before.

Although we see Carol, often in her own words, as an entertainer, an advocate for free expression, and a business woman, we never really get to know her. She’s funny and charismatic, but when the subject of her personal life comes up, she deflects or makes a joke. Any attempt to learn anything about her family or her past is quickly shut down. Even those who knew her personally didn’t really know much of Carol beyond the stage.

There’s a theme in the film that Carol helped create the zeitgeist of the 1960s, but perhaps she was more of a product of it. Did the court ruling that her topless dancing was self-expression and not indecency lead to the Summer of Love or was the verdict because San Francisco was already headed that way? Was she a product of the male gaze or did she subvert it for her own purposes? In any case, there is no doubt that she was a trailblazer in the world of adult entertainment and freedom of expression.

The documentary is a love letter to Carol Doda and the North Beach entertainment scene. We also learn about some of her contemporary dancers and friends. I was particularly intrigued by the stories from Judy Mamou, who as Tara, danced with a topless monkey! If the film comes to your area, do go see it.

*Ironically, he created the topless swimsuit because he felt a woman’s body should not be sexualized.
** With some pressure from the club’s publicist.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 13 April 2024 at 6:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s a very blustery day here in Boston. I hope everyone is snug inside, or having better weather than we are!

Here’s a tip to brighten up the day:

When removing, keep moving.

I don’t mean that you have to be in constant motion while stripping. In fact, there are time when you want to be still to highlight a garment peel. But make it a deliberate choice. Just stopping dead to remove something and then starting up again can look like it’s hard to do two things at once. And we want the audience to think this is easy (it’s not, but we can make it look easy). So, strut, grind, shimmy, &c. while taking it off. It’s more fun to watch. And it will make those moments when you choose stillness have more impact.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 12 April 2024 at 4:13 pm  Leave a Comment  
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On Target Burlesque 3/23/24

Dear Constant Reader,

On Target BurlesqueThis past Saturday was our debut performance at House of Hatchets, an axe-throwing emporium on Cape Cod. Ticket sales were a bit slow, so I was very nervous. I mentioned to a friend that I hoped the show would go well and she asked if I thought I’d have fun. I realized I *always* have fun with Betty and Ava and Devastasia and Scratch. Even if the show sucked (spoiler: it was awesome), we’d have a great time together.

Our dressing room was one of the axe-throwing lanes with a curtain over the front. We could hear people throwing axes in the other lanes. Pretty cool! We were supposed to be on the archery range, but we didn’t actually need that much room.

Since this was our first show, we just went with a classic theme, plus a couple of pointed acts (see what I did there…). It was clearly the right mix, because the audience was so enthusiastic, especially one particular table (more on that later). Oh, and tickets sales ended up being just fine, despite my early worries.

We could not have done the show nearly as smoothly without the help of long-time stagehand Marek (who drove down from the snowy north) and first-time (but you’d never know it) stagehand Aurora.

Aurora took some video of us warming up, which you can see here.

And the show went something like this:

Devastasia: Real Gone (Sam Taylor)
This is classic bump & grind. A great way to start the show!

Scratch & Aurora: Magic
This is a fun trick with a lot of audience participation as Scratch tried to choose a tie to complete his outfit.

Ava Fox: He’s a Tramp (Peggy Lee)
A languid striptease with gorgeous dressing gown highlighting Ava’s costuming skills and love of pink.

Betty Blaize: You’re the Boss (Brian Setzer)
Betty’s classic dance with the Devil. Mr. Devilhead has gotten an upgrade with both his head and his robe and Betty has incorporated a few magic tricks to make it really special.

INTERMISSION

Mina Murray: My Room (Earl Okin)
This was my first major fan dance and still one of my favorites. I used to perform it with a maid to unzip my gown, but during the pandemic I added a quick release, so I could do it myself.

Devastasia: Why Don’t You Do Right? (singing)
This song gives Devastasia a chance to seduce with her voice as well as showing off her impressive vocal range.

Scratch: Urban Legend (magic)
This is a “don’t try this at home” tricks that involves double-edged razor blades.

Ava Fox & Betty Blaize: Purple Wail (Red Prysock)
This is a brand new duet. We had a bunch of trios and some four person numbers, but few duets. The stage was pretty small, so if we wanted to perform a group number, we needed a new one. Devastasia had a duet she had used for teaching and the four of us took that simple routine and ran with it. We had a lot of fun in the creation process!

INTERMISSION

Ava Fox: Good Morning Little Schoolgirl (Johnny Lang)
Cute and oh-so-dirty, Ava thinks back to her schoolgirl days. If you look really carefully, she has an Umbrella Academy crest on her blazer.

Devastasia: Egyptian Fantasy
One of Devastasia’s newest numbers, with a lovely costume (that she made) in a gorgeous shade of aqua. And if you’re a fan of Devastasia’s you know how rare it is that she wears a color like this.

Betty Blaize: Nightmare/Misirlou Twist (Artie Shaw/Dick Dale)
Betty starts with a black (faux) fur-trimmed robe (her creation, of course) and dramatic movements. Then she switches to a blurringly fast feast of shimmies.

Mina Murray: Baby Did A Bad, Bad Thing (Chris Issak)
When we were booked for a show in an axe-throwing emporium, we knew Lizzie Borden had to appear! It’s a messy act, but one I love a lot and the audience seemed to as well!

After the show, we were on the stage taking pictures, and a bunch of the most enthusiastic audience members joined us. One asked me if we used to be The Boston Babydolls. She had seen us at the first Burlesque Marathon — 14 years ago! She remembered that it had been Scratch’s birthday and everyone had cake. She also had a personal epiphany during the show, but that’s not my story to tell.

Even though I didn’t take any pictures (although my Patrons got a little BTS video). Ava took this one before I rehearsed Lizzie Borden.
Mina at HoH
The fuzzy slippers were a gift from Devastasia. We love keeping our feet warm (and clean) backstage!

Big thanks to Cliff and all the staff at House of Hatchets for having us and being so good to us! We’ll be back on June first with Isle of Tease!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 9 April 2024 at 11:53 am  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I’ve been tidying up my sewing room and reorganizing my supplies. That reminded me of this tip:

Flexible measuring tapes are often made of materials that can stretch or shrink over time. Periodically check yours against a plastic or metal ruler. If the measurements are off, toss it.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
Published in: on 5 April 2024 at 4:25 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! A quick reminder that Introduction to Burlesque starts on Monday and floorwork the following Sunday. Here’s your tip:

Pack hangers along with your costumes.

If your dressing room has a clothing rack, you can’t count on it to also have hangers. If you bring your own, you can be sure you’ll be able to hang your costumes. If there’s no rack, you might be able to get creative…

We like those velvety hangers because they’re very flat and can pack easily.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 29 March 2024 at 5:01 pm  Leave a Comment  
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