Hair Today

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s true confession time. If reading about the ugly side of beauty is going to ruin things for you, I pray you set this missive aside and wait for the next one.

If I can’t be honest here, where can I be? It’s not like hundreds of people read this — it’s just you and me, O Constant Reader.

Many burlesque performers, myself included, like to present a porcelain-smooth appearance of all bare skin. The glamourous truth is that this can involve all sorts of hair removal: waxing, bleaching, shaving, threading, tweezing, sugaring, chemical depilatories, and possibly some secret methods to which I’m not privy. I’m fortunate that most of my hair is fine and fair and my grooming regimen requires only a little effort.

Here’s the true confessions part: like many women, I have some stray hairs on my areolae. You don’t notice, because they’re covered by my pasties. And for Naked Girls Reading, some quick snipping with my embroidery scissors takes care of the issue. But it bothers me.

When I saw a daily deal offer for laser hair removal, I started contemplating. I know a number of people who have raved about it. It’s easy, effective, and doesn’t even hurt that much, they said. Sounded great! Then I learned that my fair hair, usually a blessing, made me ineligible for the procedure. Instead, I took a deep breath and bought a coupon for electrology.

Sounds scary. And it was, a little. They stick a needle into the hair follicle and kill the root with a little electricity. The needle is actually painless. It’s the zap of electricity that feels like you’ve been jabbed with a straight pin. Over and over again. In a delicate area. I had a half-hour session booked, but I was grateful when the technician told me we were done after 15 minutes.

I was buzzing when I left the office. I have to assume the post-tattooing endorphin rush is similar. Honestly, I’d rather get that feeling from being up on a trapeze than getting many tiny electric shocks.

I have a follow up in a month and then we’ll see how much more zapping I need. What lengths I’ll go to for glamour!

Tenderly yours,
M2

Published in: on 11 December 2012 at 1:05 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Officially Official

Dear Constant Reader,

As you may know, I run a humble Academy where we teach the gentle art of burlesque. It’s terribly, terribly fun — for the instructors as well as the students. Sometimes it’s hard to believe it’s a business, but a business it is. So amongst all the feathers and glitter, there are tax forms, contracts, and other bureaucratic items.

The other day, I got a long-awaited message from B.A.B.E.’s attorney who had navigated through the USPTO’s red tape on my behalf to make this happen:

uspto

Welcome to Boston Academy of Burlesque Education®!

M2

Published in: on 10 December 2012 at 10:53 am  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

Yesterday I wrote all about cocktails made with sparkling wine. I highly recommend you always keep a bottle in your fridge, chilled and ready to go, because you never know…

However, if you are caught ill-prepared and need to fetch a bottle from the cellar, you can chill it in a very short time with this simple Friday Tip:

Put the bottle in an ice-water bath with a generous handful of salt. It will chill in about 10 minutes.

You can do this right in the bucket. You do have a champagne bucket, don’t you?

Just before serving, gently turn the bottle upside down to chill the wine in the neck.

You wouldn’t want the first glass to be tepid, after all the trouble you’d gone to for a chilled bottle.

M2

Published in: on 7 December 2012 at 10:00 am  Comments (1)  
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A Bit of Sparkle (of a different sort)

Dear Constant Reader,

I’ve had bubbly on the brain lately. Maybe it’s the upcoming holidays. Today I’d like to share with you some of my favorite sparkling cocktails.

Remember, you don’t need top-shelf bubbly for these, since you’ll be adding mixers. And when I say “bubbly”, I mean sparkling wine, not restricted to Champagne (which is a very specific type, made in the Champagne region of France). There are plenty of very good sparkling wines from all over the world.

The classic sparkling brunch cocktail is, of course, the Mimosa. I’ve been to a number of restaurants where the idea of a Mimosa is a glass of bubbly with a splash of orange juice for color. A proper Mimosa is equal parts of champagne and orange juice. There is also the Buck’s Fizz, which is two parts orange juice to one part bubbly and maybe a touch of grenadine.

I’m very found of the Bellini, which is sadly hard to find made properly. A true Bellini is made with 1 part white peach puree and 2 parts Prosecco. A splash of cherry or raspberry juice is optional, but not unwelcome.

One place where I diverge from tradition is the Kir Royale, traditionally made with 9 parts Champagne and 1 part crème de cassis. I like to substitute crème de violette.

Speaking of floral liqueurs, I adore St. Germain, the elder flower liqueur. I know it’s oh-so-trendy today, but I tried it not long after it first became available and I’ve been smitten ever since. I was introduced to it at The Last Hurrah at The Parker House where they served a French 77 (a play on the French 75 — gin, lemon juice, simple syrup, and Champagne), made with St. Germain, lemon syrup, and bubbly.

My friend Sarah recommends The Gilded Lily: 1 oz St. Germain, 3 oz prosecco, 2 fresh ripe strawberries, 1 small pinch fresh ground grains of paradise, which I have to agree is fantastic.

More often than not I just have a simple St. Germain cocktail — St. Germain and equal parts of sparkling wine and sparkling water, over ice, with a lemon twist. So light and refreshing, it’s perfect for a post-show tipple.

What’s your favorite sparkler?

M2

Published in: on 6 December 2012 at 11:13 am  Leave a Comment  
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Wednesday Miscellany

Dear Constant Reader,

The Wednesday book review should return soon. I broke down and bought some new (well, actually used) books. Perhaps as early as next week, I’ll have a new review for you. If there are any books you’re dying for me to review, please let me know.

21st Century Burlesque Magazine has an annual list of the Top 50 Burlesque Industry Figures and voting is now open. You can nominate up to 10 people that you think have made an impact on the burlesque world in 2012. These don’t have to be dancers. You can nominate producers, costumers, MCs, stage kittens, photographers, musicians, &c. Personally, I’ve nominated Scratch, among others.

Expo Judges 2010These are the fabulous judges (and myself) for the Main Event at The Great Burlesque Exposition of 2010. Why are they here? To announce that applications to perform at The Great Burlesque Exposition of 2013 are now open! Hope to see you there!

The Boston Babydolls are in rehearsal for our new show The Bod of Avon. Expect to hear more about it here (and maybe there will even be pictures).

M2

Published in: on 5 December 2012 at 2:16 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The Burlesque Marathon

Dear Constant Reader,

A little backstory first. A couple of years ago there was this terrible movie that was called “Burlesque”, but actually had nothing to do with burlesque. Scratch decided he wanted to raise awareness of actual burlesque and hold an overnight marathon show the week before the movie opened. He recruited a ton of burlesque performers from all over the East Coast and we did it. We started at midnight and performed through until morning. It was exhausting, exhilarating, and a ton of fun.

Scratch had only planned it to be a one time thing, but so many folks were saying “next year…”, that, despite his better judgement, he did it again… and then again.

This year, after volunteering at Coney Island, Scratch decided to make the marathon a fundraiser with raffles to benefit Coney Island USA. He gave away a bunch of great prizes, but I don’t yet know what the final total raised was.

It was great to share a dressing room with old friends like BettySioux Tailor, Blitzen von Schtupp, and Corinne Southern. We were honored to witness the debuts of Minnie Holiday, Ginny Nightshade, and Ava Estrella (who all would have looked familiar if you saw The Wrathskellar). And first time MCs Reyn, Nick, and Ginny did a fantastic job! Some of my students, Amber Rane, Dagny Vanderlust, and Delilah Springs took the stage — with some of the acts they created last year in Burlesque Your Way.

We ended about an hour shorter than planned due to some last minute drop outs, act cancelations, and no-shows. But the audience still got an excellent show and those who stayed through the whole thing got breakfast at the end.

I brought my camera so I could share pictures with you all, but failed to unpack it. I especially regret not getting a picture of Mother Mischief (Mimi Mischief brought her mom!) asleep under Mimi’s pink balloon costume. I know there was video shot, but I don’t know about photos. If any turn up, I’ll let you know.

And Scratch swears he’s not doing it again next year.

M2

Published in: on 4 December 2012 at 10:27 am  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

Use clear mascara to set your brows.

Especially helpful if you use powdered color on them. You can get expensive brow setting gel, but this works just as well.

M2

Published in: on 30 November 2012 at 9:54 am  Leave a Comment  
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Fabulous People I Know: Red

Dear Constant Reader,

Occasionally I want to recognize people who I think are fabulous. Today I’d like to present Red to you. She’s known as Redheadedgirl to her fans on Smart Bitches, Trashy Books and her followers on Twitter, but if you attended The Wrathskellar, you’ll recognize her as The Box Office Gal.

I’ve know Red for several years, ever since she moved to Boston from Minnesota and sought me out as a mentor. Not in burlesque, but for my knowledge of historic cooking and Roman archaeology (I bet you didn’t know that about me). As a bonus, she got Scratch too. He affectionately refers to her as the teenage daughter he never wanted.

Red got a Master’s degree in criminal justice and spent a long time saying she wasn’t going to be a lawyer because that required going to law school, which everyone knows is a horrible ordeal. Eventually, she caved in and went to law school. It was a grueling 3 years. This spring she graduated and then took the bar exam. To everyone’s delight (and no one’s surprise), she passed it the first time.

Yesterday morning, Scratch and I were honored to attend the ceremony in which she was sworn in as an attorney. Court was opened in Faneuil Hall, presided over by a Justice, and a motion was presented to him to admit the candidates to the bar. It was all very formal. The Clerk even wore morning dress. The shiny new lawyers swore the oldest attorney’s oath in the country and then signed the Roll of Attorneys with their official fake Montblanc pens.

Then I accompanied Red to get her license. When they called her on to the stage as “Attorney [last name]”, she may have muttered sometime profane in shock. One of the speakers during the ceremony had pointed out that they were going to be lawyers for the rest of their lives, but that new title made it real.

Red with lawyer licenseAnd here she is with her spanking new license to practice law. I’m so proud of her for pursuing this goal so determinedly and I know she’ll use her new powers only for good (or at least not to cause too much chaos).

Published in: on 28 November 2012 at 12:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Helping Out

Dear Constant Reader,

Scratch & I went to New York City for Thanksgiving. Previously, he’d said he felt badly about traveling there for a cheerful family feast when so many people in the area were still suffering from the hurricane. So, on Friday we loaded up with supplies at the Home Depot and went to Coney Island USA to volunteer for a few hours.

Coney Island TheatreThey were hit pretty badly — the ground floor flooded to impressive levels and a lot was damaged, including almost all their tech gear. They had just gotten a big donation of lighting equipment, which was waiting to be installed. Fortunately, the museum collection was upstairs and out of the flood zone. And the snakes were all removed to safety.

Coney Island Freak BarScratch, being skilled labor, was put to work next door at what had been the ice cream shop, taking down the damaged light fixtures and wiring. He was working right up at ceiling height, which should give you some idea of how far up the water got.

Coney Island CleanersI, being unskilled, got to do a lot of carrying. We had to rearrange the things on the second floor (which included many cases of water) to make room for some items from the first floor. Then we carried those upstairs (it is possible for 2 petite women to carry an industrial popcorn popper up a steep flight of stairs, but I do not recommend the experience, especially if you are the one going backwards) and began cleaning them with disinfectant.

Coney Island Water DamageIt was hard, dirty work and at the end of the day, there wasn’t even the satisfaction of a job completed, because there is so much more to do. At this point, volunteer labor isn’t so useful; they need professional help and donations.

Coney Island Cyclone & RatsSaturday, Scratch is producing The 3rd Annual Burlesque Marathon (which you should all attend anyway because it’s superfun). We’ll be doing some fundraising with the proceeds going to help Coney Island. So, come to the marathon and buy some raffle tickets. You’ll see hours of great burlesque *and* be helping the good folks at Coney Island USA. And if you’d like to donate any goodies for the raffle, left me know.

Hopefully yours,

Published in: on 26 November 2012 at 12:40 pm  Leave a Comment  

Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

One more tip from BurlyCon. This one comes from Lola Frost and her class, The Anatomy of Chair Dance.

When coming up from an inverted position on a chair, exhale.

Published in: on 23 November 2012 at 10:00 am  Leave a Comment  
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