Friday Tip (yes, it’s Monday)

Dear Constant Reader,

I know I missed your Friday Tip this week (and B.A.B.E. students didn’t get their weekly newsletter). I was felled by a head cold this past week and wasn’t good for much more than sipping tea and reading trashy novels. Here’s your belated tip:

Trouble twirling? Your tassels might be too light.

A small, light tassel is going to be harder to twirl than one with a little heft to it. Replace it with one with a longer body or a bit of weight in the head (a plastic or wooden bead works nicely). Sally Keith was said to have weighted her famous tassels with buckshot!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 25 September 2023 at 3:15 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Back to School 9/8/23

Dear Constant Reader,

This Friday we had a show at a brand-new to us venue, Electric Haze in Worcester. Since Ava moved out that way, Scratch has been looking for places to have shows closer to her. He was trying to book our Halloween show, Carnal Carnival there, but they offered us this night instead. Scratch had his doubts, as the date was a mere 2 weeks off, but the promotor was sure we’d have a good crowd because of Worcester Pride.

Electric Haze is a hookah bar and live entertainment venue and they had a very nice stage, good tech, great staff, and a spacious corner of their basement as a dressing room. What they did not have was much of an audience. It’s been a very long time since we had so few people in the audience. Maybe it was the short lead time for promotion. Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was Pride events elsewhere. Whatever the reason, it was a bit dispiriting.

Scratch asked us if we wanted to go on as planned or cancel. Two of Devastasia’s friends were in the audience and they really wanted to see her Mothman act. And the apprentices had been working very hard on their number. We compromised and decided to do a shortened show. And this is how it went:

Devastasia: “Summertime” (Sam Cooke)
We said goodbye to summer with one of Devastasia’s beautiful showgirl-style acts.

Ava Fox: “The Spy” (The Doors)
This is a slinky chair dance, which we justified as being about secret school crushes.

Scratch: The Mystery of the Vanishing Bandana (magic)
In which the audience sees Scratch learn a magic trick in real time.

Betty Blaize: “Bad Things” (Jace Everett)
Usually when Betty does this act, she’s a dominatrix tormenting… a banana. I this case she was a stern schoolteacher tormenting… an apple. A very bad apple.  He even had a little dunce cap.

Mina Murray: “Stay with Me” (Sam Smith)
The beginning of the school year often means saying goodbye to that summer fling. While it’s somewhat melancholy, I love this fan dance.

Scratch: Sobriety Test (magic)
Scratch did a quick card trick that had the audience questioning reality and their own sobriety.

Devastasia: Mothman (“Harlem Nocturne” but I don’t know which version)
As our visiting professor of cryptozoology, Devastasia showed the habits of the elusive Mothman, complete with hand-painted wings and glowing eyes pasties.

Ava Fox, Phoebe Star, Vivienne Kitt: “Kindergarten” (Unkle Ho)
This is the jewel box number we’ve been doing for years, only with new music and slightly new choreography. Our three naughty art school girls wore short pleated skirts and paint-splattered undies and danced with giant paintbrushes.

As is usual for us, there; are no photos and no video. Someday, someday…

During the  show, members of the band performing after us were trickling in, many of whom had never seen a burlesque show before. A number of people (including the band) told us how much they enjoyed the show. I’m glad we went ahead, but also glad we only did slightly more than half our original material.

After the show I discovered the bar had a relatively extensive mocktail selection, neatly paralleling their cocktail menu.

We’re hoping to return in December for our winter holiday show!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 20 September 2023 at 3:11 pm  Leave a Comment  

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Although the weather is rather beautiful right now, here at The Manor we are awaiting the arrival of Hurricane Lee, which will hopefully lessen in intensity before arrival.

Your tip is my answer to the frequent question, “what should I do with my hands?”

When in doubt, arms out.

A lot of the time we’re using our hand to remove garments or manipulate props. But when you’re not, a good option is to hold your arms away from your body, in a way that suits your character or the mood of the act — relaxed, graceful, strong, &c. It’s an expansive gesture. You are both revealing yourself and taking up space on stage.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 15 September 2023 at 8:05 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s Friday! I’m heading off shortly for our back to school show at Electric Haze as part of Worcester Pride. Here’s your tip! I can’t believe I’ve never given it to you before

Make sure your pastie adhesive is meant for skin.

There are a lot of options to affix your pasties to yourself, some better for you than others. Some good ones are toupee, wig, and fashion/swimsuit tape. If you prefer a liquid adhesive, anything you can get at a theatrical supply house will work — liquid latex (eyelash glue is just a weaker version), spirit gum (don’t forget the remover!), medical-grade adhesive.

I recommend avoiding carpet tape, spray adhesives, and anything else that might contain dubious chemicals. You don’t want that stuff potentially being absorbed by your pores.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 8 September 2023 at 11:01 am  Leave a Comment  
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The Universe Gives and Takes

Dear Constant Reader,

I don’t want to write this, but I also need to.

One of the things that made the pandemic bearable was The Boys, Tux and Tom, the bonded feral cats who made our yard home. It brought me a lot of joy to see them. Especially when they snuggled together to nap and happily rolled around in the grass. When Tom was killed by a coyote that joy went away and so did Tux. We were pretty sure we weren’t going to see Tux in our yard again.

Tux did come back and eventually he made a new friend, Lord Julius, who reigned over the Rectory behind us. Julius is a cranky sort and will hiss and smack your hand if you get too close, but somehow Tux won him over. He convinced Julius to hang out in our yard and stay in our shelter. We started calling them The Gentlemen.

At first the friendship seemed grudging on Julius’s part. They often sat at opposite corners of the hot tub (their favorite perch). Eventually, they became closer until they groomed each other and snuggled up together to nap. It made me so happy to see them together.

Tux was also becoming less skittish around me. In the mornings he would be waiting for his breakfast. He would lead me to the feeding station but hang back from the food until I walked away. Lately, if I stood quietly by the food dish, he would overcome his hesitation and eat. I never tried to pet him. Maybe someday we’d reach that level of trust.

Cats are a gift from the Universe.

On July 21st I saw on our outdoor camera that there had been a coyote in the backyard around 4am. I raced to the window, hoping to see both Gentlemen and calm my fears. Julius came for breakfast, but no Tux. I held out hope for a while, but I knew. Our neighbors found him and we buried him in the Rectory garden, near his best friend Tom. Scratch made a memorial of two stones, a big one and a small one, nestled up against one another.

Untitled     One of Tux’s first appearances     Untitled           Tux and Tom
Untitled                 Tux and Julius Untitled   Tux in Tom’s favorite spot

Julius mostly stays close to the Rectory now. I worry about him every day.

M2

Published in: on 7 September 2023 at 3:18 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Hi friends,
Scratch here, filling in for Miss Mina with today’s Friday tip.

Asking for help is hard, but necessary 

None of us — not you, me, or even Miss M. —  can do it all by themselves, all the time.  But for whatever reason, a lot of us (yep, me too) have a lot of trouble asking for help.  Either we want something done exactly the way we want it done or we’re afraid of being a burden…or we’re just afraid of being rejected.   All of those things are bad, it’s true, but collapsing under the weight of your own obligations and deadlines is even worse.  Somehow, too many of us have gotten it into our heads that “Asking for Help” = “Failing”, when the exact opposite is true.  Getting some assistance when you really need it doesn’t guarantee success, but not getting it at a critical juncture does guarantee failure.  Most of the time, most people are happy to help, and sharing your load with someone else can lead to collaborations, inspirations, and more.  The next time you think “I can’t do this alone”, remember you don’t have to.  Help is just an email, text, or call away.
-=Scratch

Published in: on 1 September 2023 at 3:09 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Time for a tip!

If unhooking a bra is a challenge, add a ribbon tie.

Sometime the timing is tight, or you’re holding a prop, or you’re wearing gloves, or you’re unfastening someone else’s bra, and you just can’t work those little hooks with ease. Fold the hooks and eyes out of the way and sew (or safety pin!) a length of ribbon to each side. Grosgrain ribbon is sturdy and satin ribbon slides easily, so choose the best one for your purposes. Remember to finish the ends!

When you’re ready to remove the bra, just pull the ribbon, untie the bow, and you’re good to go!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 25 August 2023 at 3:55 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Carrying on about Fans

Dear Constant Reader,

If you’ve been following me for a while, you probably know that the most important things in my burlesque life are my fans. I’ve written about my white fans and their conversion before. Today I’m going to talk about safely transporting fans.

Fans are large, awkward, delicate things and traveling with them is tricky. My bamboo stave fans don’t really fold down very far, so I needed something that could accommodate them. For a while I used a shotgun case with the resulting oversized baggage fees and resignation to TSA searches (these lessened when I plastered “Theatrical props: Feather fans” and a photo of the contents on the outside of the case to join the abundance of “Fragile” stickers). Then I got a suitcase big enough to hold the fans (padded with all my garments). While good for flying, it was a lousy option for local shows or road trips. I started packing my fans in a plastic storage box. It fit well in the car, but had no handle, so it wasn’t great for taking on public transit or carrying for a while. I have to admit I was a bit jealous of the folks who could fold their fans up completely and slip them into mailing tubes.

A couple of years ago Donna Touch produced aluminum fan cases, like musical instrument cases, and I jumped on one, even though I hadn’t converted my fans yet. The case is sturdy and latches securely. It’s lightly padded (which Bartholomew loves) and there’s a handy pocket inside for fan repair items (provided!)  My fans, even before conversion, fit nicely and there’s even enough room to also pack a wig. I haven’t tried flying with it yet. It does have built in locks, but I don’t think they’re TSA-compatible and there’s no hasp to add your own lock (although I have an idea if I ever fly with it).
Untitled

While this case is great for gigs, both getting there and keeping the fans safe in the dressing room, it’s  a bit much to schlepp to rehearsals. When Donna announced she was offering soft-sided cases, I didn’t hesitate. She’s not producing them herself; they’re made by Black Cat to her specifications. They are not inexpensive, and the shipping fee from Odesa, Ukraine is a bit hefty, but I thought it was worth it. It’s made of sturdy fabric, with carrying handles, a padded strap, and a zippered pocket on the outside (lined in surprise red on mine). It unzips flat and I can fit two pairs of fans easily. It also came with a bonus small zippered pouch. I’m happy with it and also happy to have supported an artisan in Ukraine.

Bonus photo of Bartholomew inspecting my fans.
Untitled

If you’ve got fans, how do you transport them?

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 23 August 2023 at 2:23 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

I hope you’re having a good Friday. We’ve been having big rainstorms all day and Bartholomew A. Cat has decided the best thing to do is nap the afternoon away on the fabric I spread out for cutting. Anyway, here’s your tip:

Make your bed right after you get up. 

Tip courtesy of Scratch.

What does this have to do with burlesque? A couple of things.

It’s a way of making a little bit of order out of chaos and it doesn’t take very long.
You have accomplished one thing right away that day, which can help motivate you to do more.
f you’re one of those people (like me) who lays costumes out on the bed to double check before packing, you have a tidy platform to do so.
When you get home late after a rehearsal or a show, you have an inviting place to lay your head.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 18 August 2023 at 5:55 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Secrets of the Illumi-Naughty, 7/8/23

Dear Constant Reader,

Our most recent show happened because of a piece of spam email. Scratch shared some spam promising to initiate him into the secrets of the Illuminati and more than one of his friends made a joke about Illuminaughty. Thus our show about secret societies, conspiracy theories, shadowy government agencies, and cryptids was born.

It was a hot day and quite sweaty backstage at Deacon Giles. We planned two shows, but, in that unpredictable way audiences have, the early show almost sold out and only half a dozen people bought tickets for the late show. So we rolled them into one. It’s for the best. I know I was feeling the heat badly by the end of the show and I’m not sure I could have done a second one and still given a good performance.

Our stage crew were apprentices Coco and Phoebe with F. Andrew Taylor on follow spot. Lots of credit to Phoebe who kittened and performed and really took the lead on set up and strike. Big thanks as always to everyone at Deacon Giles, especially Jesse & Ian for giving us a place to perform and Peter behind the bar for always making delightful and creative concoctions.

The following photos are images taken from the video of the show shot on my phone, so if they look a little odd, that’s why. Maybe someday we’ll have the luxury of a photographer and/or videographer again.

And here’s how it went:

MIBBetty Blaize, Phoebe Star, Vivienne Kitt: Men in Black (“Poker Face” by Postmodern Jukebox ft Kelley Jakle)
Betty, Phoebe, and Vivienne were stoic in black jackets, skinny ties, sunglasses, (and no pants) until one of them flashed the other with her memory-erasing device. Shenanigans and stripping ensued. Of course Betty tried to get everything back on track, only to be drawn into the chaos.

Secret Agent ManDevastasia: “Secret Agent Man”
These days, if Devastasia is in a show, you can expect to hear her sing. And what a treat that is. She considered wearing a trenchcoat and fedora for this song, but it was too flipping hot. I think this red dress is pretty smashing. The song is obviously the theme from the eponymous television show.

The Spy 2Ava Fox: “The Spy” by The Doors
Continuing on our theme of those who know too much about you, Ava was the spy in the house of love. It’s an impressive chair dance. I originally selected a picture of Ava in her top layer, a slinky evening gown, but how amazing is this move? From the headdstand , she magically ends up sitting in the chair.

Tea for TwoMina Murray: There’s Something in the Water (“Tea for Two” by Doris Day/”Mad World” by Postmodern Jukebox ft. Puddles Pity Party & Haley Reinhart)
I actually created this number for Alice in Underwearland, called “Mad Tea Party”, and I really liked it. However, at 6 minutes, I wasn’t sure when I would get to perform it again. Scratch thought we could make it fit the theme of this show and I happily agreed. We were riffing on the idea of the government or other shadow agencies putting things in the waster supply to control the populace.

Magic 1Scratch: Magic
For this, he was assisted by Phoebe, who went about collecting random small objects from random audience members. Then Scratch called up a volunteer and laid the items on the table. One by one they took turns eliminating items. all completely free choice, right? At last only one item was left, a sealed envelope was opened, and lo and behold, the envelope contained the name of the item left on the table.

Tomstone BluesDevastasia: “Tombstone Blues”
This is one of Devastasia’s classic numbers. To fit the theme, she appeared as a cult leader with her acolyte, Coco, taking her costume pieces. Extra points to Coco for wearing that black hood in the heat.

The GeekBetty Blaize: Computer Geek (“Night Train” by Alvino Ray)
One of Betty’s iconic numbers. She used to perform this every year when we had a standing gig at MIT. The Internet is a dangerous place and you never know what you’ll find on-line. As you can see from the picture, Betty is actually wearing a t-shirt and jeans (also Keds and mismatched socks). Don’t worry it gets more glam as she takes off the layers. I particularly love this image of her doing something very dirty with her mouse.

LizardAva Fox: “9 to 5″ by Dolly Parton/”I’ve Got You Under My Skin” by Ella Fitzgerald
This was a brand new number with some clever props and costume pieces. Ava entered in a blouse and trousers with a briefcase and sat at her “desk”. She “typed”, creating the sound effects on the briefcase with her tap shoes. When she opened the briefcase into a tap board and began stripping, she revealed a little secret. It’s not just the gorgeous harness set that she made, but a lizard tail, cleverly engineered to be concealed, even as unclothed as she is in this picture, until she was ready to reveal it. Yes, lizard people walk among us!

Magic 2Scratch: Magic
Scratch reveals that memory is subjective and can be influenced. With just three playing cards, he convinced an audience member that what she believed was not in fact so.

MothmanDevastasia: Mothman (“Harlem Nocturne”)
When Scratch first announced the theme of this show pretty much everyone jumped on the idea of Mothman. When the dust cleared, Devastasia had claimed the concept, and honestly, she was probably the best one to do it. As you can see from the picture, she cut and painted a set of Isis wings to look like moth wings. And her pasties glowed red, like Mothman’s eyes. This was a brilliant design and you’ll never guess how she did it.

Satanic Panic 1Mina Murray: Satanic Panic (“Back in Black” by AC/DC and The Swingin’ Pops)
When a prim and proper miss finds a book that leads her down a very dark path, things can get very hot! For those of you who don’t immediately recognize it, that’s the classic AD&D Player’s Handbook.

Fire veil 3The concept, music, and some of the costuming for this act came from Scratch, and I was all-in as soon as he suggested it. And I had an inspiration for one of the costume bits (which you can see a little of in the second picture). The fire veil (by Silk Electric) was not part of the initial choreography, but when Scratch called me from BHoF and asked if I wanted it, I knew the perfect use for it.

Although you can’t see them here, I was particularly pleased with how my flame pasties came out. I think they were the first pair of non-geometric pasties I’ve made — usually I stick to round, with the occasional foray into hearts or stars — and definitely first non-symetrical. And this act ends with some rare, for me, tassel twirling.

CowsBetty Blaize, Ava Fox, Vivienne Kitt: “Levitating” by Postmodern Jukebox ft. Sweet Megg
We couldn’t have a show about conspiracy theories and other weirdness without a UFO encounter. And cows. Betty, our resident alien, made that amazing flying saucer and her space suit. But it was the backup dancers, in their adorable cowfits, that stole the show. And the space ship, by the end of the act.

We’ll be back at Deacon Giles with our Halloween show, Carnal Carnival, on Saturday, October 21!

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 16 August 2023 at 3:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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