Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! It’s particularly happy today as the heat as broken and it’s pouring rain here in Boston. And tomorrow we have our first live show in 16 months!

Here’s your tip!

If you use a table in your act, bring a tablecloth.

If we need a table, most of us are going to be bringing a folding table or using something that the venue has. In either case, they are unlikely to be lovely. A tablecloth can disguise a myriad of sins and help set the scene for your act. A long cloth will also make under the table a fine storage space for something you need later in the act or want to hide after use.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 12 Patrons. Thank you! I appreciate you all so much. To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 2 July 2021 at 3:16 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Performing Live Again

Dear Constant Reader,

The BeauTease have our first live show* on Saturday! We’ve been performing throughout the Long Intermission — five recorded shows (and I’m pretty proud of how much better they got as time went on), but it’s not the same thing. Performing for a camera is not like performing for people. Live means no reshoots and no clever editing — what you see is what you get. Nobody is going to be watching the recording later; the audience that shows up that night is the total audience we have.

We went back to rehearsing twice a week. Besides dusting off our acts, we are also refreshing the rhythms of a show. Although we’ve kept practicing our dance moves and routines, that’s only part of what makes up a show. We have to remember how to set up the backstage, the most efficient way to change costumes between acts, how to engage the audience and react to their reactions, how to support one another before and during the performances, what equipment to bring.

It’s a brand new venue for us — upstairs from the American Burlesque Collection. So exciting! Scratch and Hunter have been working in the theatre to improve the lighting (and possibly other things that I don’t know about). We’ve left plenty of time in the schedule to try out the stage and figure out the quirks and advantages, but still there are likely to be some surprises (not necessarily a bad thing). 

It’s the magic of live theatre! I hope you will join us on Saturday! (VIP tickets get you a tour of the new museum exhibit before the show!)

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 14 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

*Full disclosure, there were two live performances in early spring this year — one just me and one with the troupe. Both were small, private birthday parties, with safety precautions, but it was still very stressful and only served to remind me what I was missing so badly.

Published in: on 30 June 2021 at 11:44 am  Leave a Comment  

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! It’s hard to believe June is almost over and July is right around the corner. I’m excited because the BeauTease have their first live show since Valentine’s Day 2020! Join us for Red Hot & Blue on July 3rd in Salem, MA! 

Here’s your tip!

The world feels like it’s starting to go back to normal, but doesn’t have to be the same as it was. Take some time to revisit your relationships — with your venues, fellow performers, producers, but especially yourself. This is a great time to re-examine and make changes. You’re not the same person; you don’t need to fall back into the same patterns.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 14 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 25 June 2021 at 3:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

In the Kitchen: Best Ordinary Pottage (1615)

Dear Constant Reader,

Sinister Sarah, a member of my Advisory Committee on Patreon, requested an Elizabethan recipe. (If you’d like to make requests as well, please join the $5 tier). Technically this recipe was published after Elizabeth’s death, but it’s still got a  Renaissance style, rather than a Restoration one. 

therefore to make the best ordinarie Pottage, you shall take a racke of Mutton cut into pieces, or a leg of Mutton cut into pieces; for this meate, and these ioynts are the best, although any other ioynt or any fresh Beefe will likewise make good Pottage: and hauing washt your meate well, put it into a cleane pot with faire water, and set it on the fire; then take Violet leaues, Endive, Succory, Strawberry leaues, Spinage, Langdebeefe, Marigold flowers, Scallions, & a little Parsly, & chop them very small together; then take halfe so much Oat-meale well beaten as there is Hearbs, and mixe it with the Hearbs, and chop all very well together: then when the pot is ready to boyle, skum it very wel, and then put in your hearbs, and so let it boyle with a quick fire, stirring the meat oft in the pot, till the meat bee boyld enough, and that the hearbs and water are mixt together without any separation, which will bee after the consumption of more than a third part: then season them with Salt, and serue them vp with the meate, either with Sippets or without. (Gervase Markham, The English Huswife, 1615)

If you want to see how I cooked this (in 16th century attire!), you can join my Patreon at any level to watch the video.

I used lamb, since mutton is hard to acquire. For the herbs I used endive, spinach, violet and strawberry leaves (from my garden), parsley (also from the garden), & scallions. “Succory” is chicory, but my supermarket didn’t have any. I wanted curly endive, to be closer to the historic sort, but all the market had was Belgian. Although I’ve grown edible marigolds in the past, I didn’t this year. Even herbals of the time period were unclear about exactly what herb “langdebeefe” (ox-tongue) is, so I felt no guilt at leaving it out. Oat meal as used here is meal made from oats, not today’s rolled oats oatmeal. I started with steel-cut oats (since that’s what I could acquire) and ground them fine with a mortar and pestle.

I put the lamb, cut into chunks, and bones into a heavy pot and covered it with water and set it to boil. I chopped the greens fine. There were 4 cups of greens, so I added 2 cups oat meal, according to the recipe. Once the broth had almost come to a boil, I skimmed off any foam, and then added the greens and oats.

Markham says to boil it on a quick fire, stirring, until it’s one-third reduced. I had to keep stirring it as the pottage got very thick very quickly. After half an hour, I called it done and added some salt.

I was expecting a thick soup or stew and what I got was more of a porridge — very solid. Still, it tasted good. It was rather meaty-flavored but also fresh and bright from the greens. I had been concerned about the bitterness of the greens, but cooking mellowed them out. Markham says you can serve the pottage on sippets, pieces of stale bread to soak up broth or gravy. My version had absolutely no liquid to soak up, so I skipped the sippets. I wasn’t thrilled about how dense the pottage turned out, although I really liked the flavor.

The next morning I reheated some for breakfast and decided to add quite a lot of boiling water to thin it out. And that got me thinking about jook, a thick rice soup (thanks to Louise Hung for her recipe!). It’s also made with meat and veggies and grain, but a smaller amount of rice and a lot of liquid. The result is definitely soup and not cereal. I think the proportions of oats to water in the pottage needs to change. The pottage also wants to cook for a longer time on lower heat, mostly covered. 

Here’s what I’d do next time.

Proposed Pottage Reconstruction
1 pound lamb, cut into pieces
4 cups chopped greens (I used 1 1/2 cup each endive & spinach and 1/4 cup each violet leaves, strawberry leaves, parsley, and scallions)
1 cup ground oats
6 cups water
Salt

Cover lamb with water and bring to a gentle boil. If any foam rises to the surface, skim it off. Add greens and oatmeal. Loosely cover pot and simmer over low heat, stirring occasionally. Cook about 1 hour. If mixture gets too thick, add up to 2 cups additional water. Salt to taste.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 14 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 23 June 2021 at 10:57 am  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Reapply your sunblock more frequently than you used to.

The SPF (sun protection factor) in sunblock refers to how long you can stay in the sun before you burn. If you usually burn after 15 minutes, 15 SPF will let you stay in the sun for almost four hours. However, most of us have spent over a year inside and our skin doesn’t have the tolerance for the sun that it did when it was getting more exposure. So, use that sunblock more often to avoid burning!

Personally I prefer a sunblock with zinc oxide and/or titanium dioxide rather than a chemical sunscreen.  Add a big hat, sunglasses, and a wrap for more protection, plus additional glamour.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 14 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 18 June 2021 at 2:16 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Review: Grizzly Pulp #1

Dear Constant Reader,

Pulp novels and burlesque shows have a lot in common — they were inexpensive, guilty pleasures, rather racy, a little silly, a lot over the top, entertaining in an expected way.

Grizzly Pulp is bringing back the pulp novels staring confidential investigator Tokey Wedge! Who? That’s what I asked too. The good folks at Grizzly Pulp sent me a copy of their first offering (and some cool barware) to check out and I thought I’d share my review with you. Do not expect high art.

239819.nympho-promobook-2Nympho Lodge (Grizzly Pulp #1) by Jack Lynn, originally published 1959.

Janice Bradley is afraid. Her husband is about to divorce her, but she won’t give up The Wagon Wheel, a resort they own jointly. Now she’s received a threatening note hinting at arson. She fears her husband might kill her to get control of the property, so she hires Tokey to be her bodyguard. The contested resort is full of gorgeous women with hot bodies and soon it’s also full of cold bodies… the dead kind. Everyone is a suspect, including Tokey. In the tradition of pulp novels, do not expect a happy ending.

Tokey is short and scrawny, but a tough fighter and a good shot.  Almost all the women are tall, busty, lusty and desperate for Tokey. He spends the entire book fending off their advances, except when he doesn’t. The plot is full of twists and turns, but if you know the pulp formula, you’ll probably figure out the murderer.

This book is ridiculous. It’s a parody of the hard-boiled detective novel. Do note that on the cover it’s not a “Case” or an “Adventure”; it’s a “Swinger”. That should tell you all you need to know. It’s full of lurid violence and sex described in overblown prose. Wild similes abound, as do sentence fragments and the occasional 50 cent word. The prologue has nothing to do with the main plot. The writing is absolutely of its era (late 1950s) in terms of language and attitudes. 

That’s not to say it’s not fun. It’s a quick read with constant action. I love the fact that Grizzly Pulp has printed it on, well, pulp paper. They’ve also been kind enough to wrap the book in a plain black dust jacket, marked only “Grizzly Pulp #1”. That saves some embarrassment, if you’re perusing Nympho Lodge in public — maybe on the beach or poolside. It would be a fine vacation read. Just be warned that you can whip through it in no time, like a bag of potato chips.

The original plan was to sell the first six books in the series at dive bars (how fun!), but the pandemic screwed that up. You can read a sample from Nympho Lodge and buy the book at Grizzly Pulp’s store. If you know an indie bookstore that would like to carry these, drop Grizzly Pulp a line! Nympho Lodge is currently the only book available, but the next ones should be coming out soon. Keep your eyes peeled for Mad for Kicks — “Tokey takes on a GANG of thrill-mad BEATNKS on a shocking binge of MURDER AND PERVERSITY!”

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 14 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this. 

 

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Published in: on 16 June 2021 at 3:12 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I’m out of town! I got on a plane for the first time in a year and a half to see my family. However, I would not neglect your tip. 

If you wear glasses, have a pair that suits your stage persona.

A lot of performers who need corrective lenses prefer to wear contacts or, if their vision isn’t too bad, take off their glasses before they hit the stage. But some would prefer to wear their glasses and sometimes circumstance require it (like an injury or illness — ask me how I know…). 

In those cases, have a spare pair for stage. They could be vintage or rhinestone-encrusted or whatever goes with your look, so you are presenting a complete package to the audience. You don’t want to be wearing something that looks utilitarian when the rest of you is glam.

However, I can’t take my own advice because my prescription is so freaking extreme that I can’t afford a second pair of glasses. So I made sure my current frames worked for everyday and for stage. They’re a tortoise shell that kind of looks like leopard print and they have a bit of a cat’s eye shape. It’s a pretty good compromise.

The most important thing, though, is that you can see well enough not to fall off the stage!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 14 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this. 

Published in: on 11 June 2021 at 11:04 am  Leave a Comment  

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Here we are, Friday again! After 10 years, maybe I should come up with an actual name for these weekly tips…

Last Friday we talked about washing feathers, here’s how you clean them if they’re too delicate for water or attached to something that shouldn’t get wet.

Use a soft brush to remove dust and dirt from feathers.

A soft flat natural-bristle paintbrush is the best, but you can also use a microfiber cloth. The key is a very light touch. You don’t want to damage the barbules — those are the little hooks that hold together to make the feather vane one smooth piece. Brush in the direction of feather growth — from the shaft to the edge, working your way from the base to the tip. Everyone once in a while, it’s okay to gently stroke the feather with your fingers. A little of the oil on your skin is actually good for the feather.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 14 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

 

Published in: on 4 June 2021 at 12:30 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Here it is, Friday again and I have once again failed to fill your week with delightful missives. For that I am terribly sorry. May has been a busy month indeed!

I’m teaching my last installment of Fantastic Fan Dancing tomorrow with “Fan Dance Uncovered”, a history of the art. I’m very excited to teach this brand new class and a little nervous, since it will be my first hybrid class, taught simultaneously at the American Burlesque Collection and on Zoom. Tickets to the in-person class are very limited and include museum admission and a guided tour of the “Fantasy of the Fan Dancer” exhibit. I hope you will join me!

May also celebrates 4 years on Patron and 500 tips right here! You have until Monday to subscribe to my Patreon at the Advisory Committee tier ($5/month) and download my Very Little Book of Costuming Tips, which contains 25 helpful hints to improve your costume-making!

And now for your tip!

You can wash ostrich feathers.

I know it seems terrifying, it can be done! You can wash loose feathers or ones attached to washable clothing. Feathers on fans or headdresses and antique or fragile fragile get a different treatment, which perhaps will become another tip.

Note: if your feathers have been dyed, there is the possibility you’ll get some bleeding. Test a small spot first.

  • Fill a basin (sink, tub, etc.) with tepid water and a little mild soap. Dawn is my go-to.
  • Gently swish the feathers or feather-trimmed garment through the soapy water. Don’t rub or scrub.
  • To rinse, swish through clean cool water. Repeat with new changes of water until the water is clear.
  • You are going to be horrified at how your feathers look. Don’t panic!
  • Lay your feathers on a fluffy towel to dry, preferably on a drying rack. Don’t try to wring out the moisture.
  • The feathers will fluff up a bit as they dry, but after they are completely dry, steam them for maximum fluff.

(I was really sure I’d given you a tip about steaming in the past… I guess it’s a future tip!)

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 14 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 28 May 2021 at 11:02 am  Leave a Comment  
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Review: Forbidden City, USA

Dear Constant Reader,

I know I haven’t been so communicative this month. I’ll try to make it up to you next month, but for now, here’s a quick review.

Forbidden City, USA: Chinese American Nightclubs, 1936-1970 by Arthur Dong, 2014.

This book is on the same topic as Forbidden City: The Golden Age of Chinese Nightclubs, but it’s also a companion to a documentary, released in 1989. The pages are packed with photos, menus, press clippings, some with wording that may have been cute then, but is cringe-worthy now. The real meat is the interviews with the singers, specialty dancers, and showgirls.

I was most interested in the interview with Noel Toy, the Chinese Sally Rand, who features in my new class, Fan Dance Uncovered (join me on Saturday!). As a nude dancer and later as a stripteaser, she’s the only performer interviewed who did who we would consider burlesque acts. Ivy Tam, a founding member of the Grant Avenue Follies, does mention Coby Yee and scoffs at anyone dismissing her as “just a stripper”. A couple of the others are clear to point out that nobody showed everything, not like American burlesque.

The performers (and one club owner and a choreographer) tell their stories in their own words, which is so precious since so many are no longer with us. They talk about hard work and fun, but also adversity from the more traditional member of their community and war-time prejudices — some of the “Chinese” performers were actually Japanese.

I’ll be looking up the documentary. Reading first-person histories is great, but actually hearing and seeing them is even better.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 27 May 2021 at 4:09 pm  Leave a Comment  
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