Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Check your equipment yourself.

Aerialists already know this. If someone else sets up for you, don’t just trust that they did it correctly. Make sure. See for yourself.

Perhaps you have a set piece that breaks down for transit. You would want to make sure that at the venue it was assembled correctly and securely. This goes double for anything that supports you. Maybe it’s a prop that shoots confetti at a crucial moment. Check not only that it’s loaded, but also that it was loaded correctly.

Even costume pieces could use a doublecheck. I learned this to my regret a couple of years ago. In “Factory Girls”, we wear these adorable tear-away overalls (seen at right at the Ohio Burlesque Festival 2014). There’s a long row of snaps up each leg, so we always appreciate help resnapping after rehearsals and shows. However, and this is very important, to get the timing of the tear-off right, we only fasten every other snap. Also, since these were commercial overalls that we modified, they had a big rivet-like button at each hip, which we leave unfastened, using a whopper popper (a really big snap, for those who don’t know the lingo) instead.

A helpful stage kitten snapped up my overalls one day and I blithely put them on at our next show. It was only at the moment I went to pop the first whopper popper that I realized the button was also fastened. Oh crap. After fumbling frantically, I went for the tear and yes, you guessed it, every single blessed snap had been fastened.

It was my own damn fault. I didn’t check that the kitten knew the proper snapping procedure and I didn’t check that it had been done correctly. Don’t be like me.

M2

Published in: on 4 December 2015 at 2:26 pm  Leave a Comment  
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BurlyCon 2015: Sunday

Dear Constant Reader,

The last day at BurlyCon. Priorities today included packing up, checking out, and making sure to say good bye to some people and “See you at The Expo” to others. I still managed to get in a goodly number of classes.

Advanced Floorwork (Bella Blue): This class promised to be fast-paced and not for the faint of heart. I didn’t realize we were going to be learning a choreography which incorporated some floorwork, rather than floorwork techniques (although there was a little of that later). I realized I was in over my inflexible head when Bella encouraged everyone to try a drop split to conclude the routine. I did my best to keep up and took copious notes about the things I wanted to try again later.

Sass and Play, Cabaret Dance Class (Midnite Martini): This class was so much fun! Midnite is a terrific teacher. As promised, we ran through a sassy, playful choreography to a song from Chicago. It reminded me of the importance of naming moves and combinations so they can easily be shouted out during teaching.

Roundtable: I’m Too Old for This Shit: Scandal from Bohemia led this discussion for older performers (“older” running a wide range of ages). Lots of interesting points raised about the problems and benefits of no longer being a spring chicken.

Prep for Press, Producers, & Festival Applications (Jo Weldon): I was going to go to Scarlet O’Hairdye and Bolt Action’s class on pattern alteration, but I realized that A) I didn’t have the brain power to give it the attention it deserved and B) they had proposed it for The Expo. Instead, I wandered late into this class of Jo’s and curled up in the corner to listen to her share her experience & wisdom. Honestly, it was old hat to me, but it was fabulous to see so many people learning the correct way to work with producers, etc. for the best possible result on all sides. This class should be mandatory for all performers.

I briefly went to Closing Ceremonies (not a raffle winner again), but couldn’t stay for the actual ceremony because my sister was going to pick us up for a visit. Last BurlyCon she and I tried to get together, but between managing the massive renovations on her house and getting ready for a trip to Beijing, it was impossible. It was delightful to see her, and finally encounter all the new (to me) things in her life: gentleman caller, house, and cat.

After a lovely dinner and a tour of her newly-renovated house, it was time to head to the airport for what turned out the be a rather hellish flight. Red-eyes are always no fun, but this was particularly special. I had booked an aisle and window seat in the hopes that there would be no one between us. Of course it was a completely full flight, so I gave up my window seat to sit next to Scratch. And discovered that the center seat wouldn’t recline. I managed to get some fitful sleep my head on the tray and the flight lasted approximately 67 hours. It’s so glamourous being a traveling showgirl.

I was so glad to get home, pet Albert, and then pass out on my luxurious bed for several hours.

Next up, the shopping!

M2

Published in: on 3 December 2015 at 3:07 pm  Leave a Comment  
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BurlyCon 2015: Saturday

Dear Constant Reader,

And thus the third day of BurlyCon dawned, but not too early.

Easy Tricks for Costuming (Bic Carroll): I took this class last year, but returned for an encore because Bic said he’d teach us to make his famous 2-yard gown and bring the pattern for us to copy. As I suspected would happen, most of the material he covered was totally different from last year and I ended up with pages and pages of notes and sketches.

There were some other classes I thought about attending, but decided instead to socialize and shop. I didn’t buy much this year, but that will be a separate missive.

Gloves & Stockings, Basics and Beyond (Midnite Martini): I was really looking forward to this one, after all, she’s The Stocking Girl. I came up with a stocking pull that I can’t wait to incorporate into a number. We did an interesting group exercise involving using the gloves as a prop. As it turned out, I was the only one with a pair of gloves in my group. We turned that into an advantage and I was pretty happy with our presentation to the class.

The Talk: 100 Years of Burlesque (Neil “Nez” Kendall): I can’t resist burlesque history. It was an excellent talk, even without the planned slideshow (his laptop had been stolen — boo). Some things I knew, some new information. Quite enjoyable and informative.

Scratch & I had to duck out as soon as class ended because we had big dinner plans and a tight schedule. He found that there was a Hawaiian barbecue place walking distance from the hotel. The walk was miserably wet and cold, made worse because my shoes were soaked. Soon we discovered we were practically at the old hotel! Good to know it’s not that long a walk away. I was able to sample the delights of a plate lunch (chicken katsu with rice and macaroni salad — half of it ended up in our fridge), which I’m sure would be even more delightful in tropical Hawaii itself instead of rainy Seattle.

Then we hustled back to the hotel so Scratch could prepare for Story Time. I changed into my lounging attire — red silk slip, ostrich-trimmed robe, and marabou mules. And forgot to take a picture.

Story Time was a new event this year and I was delighted that Scratch was able to participate. He’s an amazing storyteller, as some of you know, and taught me most everything I know about storytelling.

There were 11 storytellers plus Jonny Porkpie hosting. Each storyteller had 5 minutes, but I knew that wasn’t going to be enough time. And, sure enough, everyone ran over. I wished that some hadn’t rushed to conclude — I wanted to hear more! Maybe next year (and they absolutely should do it next year) there will be fewer storytellers with a longer time for each.

Some of the stories were funny, like Evilyn Sin Claire’s recounting of a very special audience member who was extremely into their show. Some were intensely personal, like Jo Weldon’s reminisces about Sherry Britton.

Scratch told a story about Joan Arline at The Expo. Normally, he works extempore, embellishing as he goes. In this case, he wrote the story down and read it. He wanted to make sure the language was exactly right, as befitted the perfectionist Sexquire Girl. It was a lovely story and several people were in tears at the conclusion. Mandy Flame, who was responsible for the event, was also recording everything, so you might even get to hear it.

Pleading fatigue, I decided to skip the movie, Us, Naked: Trixie & Monkey, despite Scratch being one of the backers. We’ll just have to wait for his copy. Although my plan was to go right to bed, we ended up talking to Nez outside the BurlyBar for a very long time about burlesque history.

And tomorrow is the last day.

M2

Published in: on 2 December 2015 at 3:12 pm  Leave a Comment  
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BurlyCon 2015: Friday

Dear Constant Reader,

My plan for my second day at BurlyCon was to begin with a Pilates class. When I woke 10 minutes before the class was to begin, I took it was a sign. Instead I had a leisurely breakfast in the hospitality room (Top Pot donuts!) with Scratch before starting my day full of classes.

FAN-tastic Feathers! (Beau Bordello): Obviously I love fans and feathers, so this was a must take. A couple of years ago I bought some fan staves from the instructor and eventually made my own fans (at right). I was hoping for some pointers, especially with stringing the fan. There was a lot of information about feathers and some kits for practicing attaching feathers to fan staves. Unfortunately for me, she doesn’t actually string her fans, so I’m still thirsting for an easier way. The booklet in each kit, also available as a PDF, was very informative on all aspects of feathers.

Take a Seat (Ophelia Flame): As you might imagine, this was a chair dance class. Although we did cover some chair moves, I found the most valuable part of the class was following along while Ophelia “made shit up” to differing types of music. Best was the Sharks/Jets dance off with half the class watching the other half perform.

Teasing Theories (panel): I was delighted when Sailor St. Claire invited me on this panel with Waxie Moon, Kristina Nekyia, and Tootsie Spangles to talk about “Aaaht”. All the panelists are educators with diverse backgrounds in other artistic disciplines and we had some interesting discussions. I have to admit feeling a bit of impostor syndrome in such company!

#pussymagic (Bella Blue): I loved the classes I took with Bella at The Expo and I was intrigued to explore her philosophy of pussymagic. We learned a short choreography and then after a pussy meditation, we performed it again, for a partner, keeping the principles from the meditation in mind. It was an intense experience and I want to thank Sapphire for being my pussymagic partner. I’m still thinking about my take-away from this class.

After classes ended Scratch & I trekked to a nearby Denny’s for an elegant dinner. There we saw the lovely Strawberry Stems from Anchorage having a solitary meal and asked to join her. Pleasant company indeed. I do hope my travels take me to Alaska some day.

That night was the Mystical Menagerie Dance. I was looking forward to it. My first thought had been to wear my satyr costume, which is very impressive, especially the hooves, but it takes up a lot of room in my suitcase and I can neither sit down nor dance. Pass.

Instead I went as…

 The Faerie Queene.

It took longer than I expected to get ready — getting eye makeup just right for wearing with a mask is challenging, despite previous practice — so I missed the class photo. Oh well. Scratch had fallen soundly asleep, so I went to the dance without him.

There were some charming vignettes in the ballroom, particularly the mermaid grotto and the Narnia setting, and a ton of fabulous costumes. Unicorns predominated, matched only by mermaids. I was so glad to see Whisper de Corvo and give her the big hug I’d been holding onto for months. She made my headdress above, by the way.

After a while I was too tired to dance and headed back to the room. On an impulse I stopped in at First Light Photography and took advantage of their Friday the 13th special. I need a good photo of this costume!

I opened the door to our room and caught Scratch putting his pants on to come join me. Instead, we called it a night. Tomorrow is going to be another very full day!

M2

Published in: on 1 December 2015 at 3:52 pm  Leave a Comment  
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BurlyCon 2015: Thursday

Dear Constant Reader,

My annual pilgrimage to BurlyCon began as usual, getting up way too early to head to the airport, an uneventful and dull flight to Seattle, and arrival around lunchtime. We had hoped against hope that the room would be ready, so there could be a nap, a shower, and clothes changing before classes, but alas, it was not to be.

I’m not crazy about the new hotel. It’s closer to the airport than the previous one, but further from anything else. Admittedly, there were some restaurants within a 10-minute or so walk, but it was cold and raining (more than the usual Seattle drizzle) most of the weekend. Also, the conference center was in a separate building from the rooms, which required a short (although covered) jaunt outside. I think it’s possible that the room block could have been further from the conference center, but it would have been challenging. But that’s enough with the bitching.

Although we got there in time for the first rank of classes, we opted for lunch instead. There was a restaurant a short walk from the hotel. I was hoping the fact that it was open 24 hours meant it was a diner, but alas.

Then one class I attended was Risque Rhythms with Ronnie Magri: There was a bit less about music than I’d hoped and a bit more about generic burlesque history and how to produce a burlesque show than I needed. However, there were some great stories about burlesque back in the day in New Orleans. I appreciated the information on how to work with a live band, something we do from time to time. The best part was a break-down of a typical headliner’s fifteen-minute set.

I had to leave the class early because the front desk called. Our room was finally ready! I was going to go to another class, but punted in favor of a nap, unpacking, and a little shopping.

That was night was the Vintage Meet & Greet. Although I contemplated wearing an actual vintage dress (a Halston one-shouldered gown from the mid-eighties), I decided on my Stephanie Buscema mermaid dress and its voluminous crinoline. Not truly vintage, but it has that look. Scratch had to take his weekly Expo tech team call, so I went down solo and amused myself helping with the icebreaker game — I was able to be someone wearing seamed stockings, who had performed aerial burlesque, and something else that escapes me now. Sadly, I wasn’t one of ones who visited the Goat Farm and oddly for me I wasn’t carrying a fan. I also bumped into Vivacious Miss Audacious, whose signature I wanted for my copy of It’s All the Glitters and of course I’d left my copy upstairs! We had a nice chat nonetheless.

Eventually Scratch joined me. Photographic evidence here:
Photo by Paul O’Connell. Photobombing by Evilyn Sin Claire.

There are some more photos floating around from the fabulous photo booth. It had a camera with a foot trigger, so one could take photos without needing a photographer. And there were silly props too. I’m sure the photos will become available soon. There were a ton of people taking advantage.

After not too long, I was exhausted and ready to skip the peer reviews in favor of bed. And yet somehow we ended up in the Burly Bar… That’s ginger beer from one of the sponsors. An actual cocktail and I wouldn’t have made it back to my room!

M2

Published in: on 30 November 2015 at 3:52 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Give thanks every day and not just on the fourth Thursday of November.

M2

Published in: on 27 November 2015 at 11:18 am  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here is your tip!

Acknowledge and echo.

When you’ve been given a piece of information, especially some place noisy and active, like backstage, acknowledge that you’ve heard it and then echo back the critical information to prove that you understand it.

For example, at a Boston BeauTease show, the stage manager will announce to the dressing room, “Fifteen minutes to places, ladies and gentlemen, one-five.”* We will then chorus “Thank you, one-five!”. We know we have 15 minutes before the show starts and the stage manager knows we know it.

This method, albeit with different conventions, is used in the theatre, commercial kitchens, shipboard, in the military, and other places where it is critically important that information be conveyed and understood accurately

Also, Scratch reminds me, whenever you are given a string of instructions, it’s worth it to repeat them back to make sure both parties have the same understanding and expectation.

M2*”Fifteen” and “fifty” can sound very similar, so we use “one-five” and “five-zero” to avoid confusion. I was once in a show where this convention wasn’t used and the opening act thought they still had half an hour to get ready when places was called. Not fun.

Published in: on 20 November 2015 at 2:00 pm  Leave a Comment  
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BurlyCon 2015

Dear Constant Reader,

Just a quick note that I am returned from BurlyCon and almost back to normal after an intense weekend of glitter and classes. I’ll tell you all about it in my usual day by day fashion. Perhaps next week.

All the badges! I only missed one year, when it conflicted with The Wrathskellar. BurlyCon seems to have settled down into early November where I hope it stays.

M2

Published in: on 19 November 2015 at 1:37 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I’m at BurlyCon right now, but I wouldn’t forget your tip.

A sharp pencil is a more useful pencil.

Keep your cosmetic pencils nice and sharp.

A fine point will give you more control. Also, you’re exposing a fresh, clean surface.


There are a couple of different sharpeners pictured above. There’s a traditional square one. I also have one of those with a wide hole for fat pencils as well as a smaller one, but I have no idea where it is. The white pencil came with a cap with a built-in sharpener, which is very convenient, although you need to be careful handling it. The two-part one was a gift from Betty Blaize. It’s also a pencil cap with a built-in sharpener, but the blade is protected in a cover, so you don’t hurt yourself blindly groping around in your makeup case. Not that that’s every happened to me.

M2

Published in: on 13 November 2015 at 11:18 am  Leave a Comment  
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In the Kitchen: Olive-Cheese “Porcupine” (1963)

Dear Constant Reader,

Recently Eva (she played Blanche in The Wrathskellar) pointed me at a Buzzfeed article where the authors cooked and tasted some “vintage” recipes (ranging from 1955 to 1973) and found them disgusting. Knowing my love of the midcentury, Eva called on me to defend the honor of these maligned dishes. I’m going to do my best.

Since we were having a wrap party for The Wrathskellar, that seemed like a perfect opportunity to inflict serve some of these tempting treats. First up the Olive-Cheese “Porcupine”.

I’ve made cheese balls for parties before and I wasn’t quite sure how this could be bad, unless you used poor-quality cheese. Because the party was just cast and crew, I made a half-recipe. I probably could have made a quarter. It’s a generously sized cheese ball.


I gathered my ingredients: cream cheese, crumbled blue cheese, shredded sharp cheddar, onion (not pictured because I’m a dimwit), Worcestershire sauce, chopped walnuts, and parsley. The onion and parsley got chopped finely and the walnuts toasted (nuts are always better toasted). The cheese was allowed to come to room temperature. The recipe didn’t say how much parsley, so I added about a tablespoon. Everything was tossed in the mixing bowl and combined. I ended up smushing it together with my hands.


Then it was molded into a rough porcupine shape, wrapped in plastic (like Laura Palmer) and stuck in the fridge for a few hours.


Here’s the little darling in all his glory, sprinkled with paprika and adorned with olives. I used multicolored toothpicks for extra festivity and Spanish olives, as the recipe called for, and not those nasty black olives in a can like the Buzzfeeders.

My taste testers universally liked it and left comments like “tastes good”, “almost too cute to eat”, “stinky, but in a good way”, “so good!”, “de-lish”, and “Yummy! Would go well with almost anything – fruity, nutty, cheesy. What’s not to love?”

It was indeed tasty, if a bit bland, which I suspected was going to be the case, tasting most strongly of the blue cheese. If I were to make this again, I would stick with the ratio of cheeses, but up the quantities of the onion, Worcestershire sauce, and parsley. The walnuts were probably about right. Also, I might add a dash of Tabasco. The olives were only there because the recipe was trying to sell Imported Spanish Olives. I think they could be left off without any harm. Also, if it were a larger party, I think multiple small porcupines instead of one big one. It’s cuter.

What do I think of the report that started this all? Not much.

The description of the dish by the Buzzfeed people was “Underneath all those olives, it’s literally just cheese. Mostly blue cheese. Melted and molded lovingly by hand into an animal with a face.”

Well, it’s a cheese ball; of course it’s just cheese. Had they never encountered a cheese ball at a party before?

It’s not “mostly blue cheese”; blue is the least of the cheeses (1 part blue cheese to 2 parts cream cheese to 4 parts cheddar), although the most pungent of the three. I can see how this would not appeal if one didn’t like strongly-flavored moldy cheese. Most of the comments from their tasters bear this out: “Just a big ol’ fungus ball.” “I didn’t want to eat it because a) the smell…” “It’s fouler than foul: like a roadkill porcupine that has been roasting on hot tar for several hours.”

I’m also not sure why it says “melted”. The cheese should not be melted, just brought up to room temperature so everything can be combined, chilled to let the flavors mingle, and then brought up to room temperature before serving (most cheese should not be served cold). If they actually melted the cheese, I can see why the results would be unappealing

One person said: “How do you even ruin cheese?” How did they? This is a super-simple, if plainly flavored, cheese spread. My only guess is that none of them knows how to cook and that they used cheap crappy cheese. On a different dish they noted with pride that they used the cheapest imitation crab they could find instead of the shrimp the recipe called for.

I would consider Olive-Cheese “Porcupine” to be redeemed.

For those who want the recipe in easily readable form. This is as writ from the original:
Olive-Cheese “Porcupine”
4 oz. blue cheese
8 oz. cream cheese
1 lb. shredded sharp cheddar
1 tablespoon minced onion
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 cup finely chopped walnuts
Spanish Green Olives

Allow cheese to soften at room temperature. Mix with parsley, onion, Worcestershire sauce, nuts. On waxed paper form mixture into oval shape. Refrigerate 2 hours. Roll “porcupine” in paprika. Let stand at room temperature 1/2 hour before serving. Garnish with Spanish Green Olives on wooden picks for “quills”. Serve with crisp crackers.

Lest you think the Olive-Cheese “Porcupine” was invented by the Spanish Olive Council, here’s a cheese porcupine from 1964, made of cream cheese and butter, flavored with beer, decorated with breadcrumbs and pretzel sticks for quills.

I’ve got one more recipe that I made at the party to report on and I’ll be trying even more as soon as I can find an occasion and an audience.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 10 November 2015 at 2:38 pm  Comments (2)  
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