Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

I’ve been writing a report of my trip to the New Orleans Burlesque Retreat. You can read about what happened on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

The last day of the retreat! We were happy to sleep in a little and then excited to go to Dahlia’s flexibility class. I was going to ask her if anything could be done for my hip flexors, which don’t. Sadly, best laid plans and all that… There was a race in the park by the studio that morning. Mia Moore, driving us, did her best, but all the roads were blocked off and there was absolutely no way we could get even close. Eventually we admitted defeat and headed back to the apartment to make ourselves beautiful for brunch.

And then it was time for Legs and Eggs brunch at SoBou. Bella had arranged for us to all sit together and have a family meal, while she performed. Three times during the brunch, to the music of the jazz band, she glided around the tables in glamourous, but family-friendly costumes, occasionally removing an item of clothing, but never going down to pasties. Because there wasn’t room to really dance, she would move gracefully around the tables, spending a little time with the patrons. At one point, I realized that she was hovering her butt over a nearby table while the guests told her which cheek to move (“Right! Right! Left!”)

I discovered that the table next to our was filled with women from Boston who were having the BEST time. Two were from my neighborhood and two lived down the street from my studio. Small world. Maybe I’ll see them at a show.

Our instructors made a heck of an entrance in matching leopard catsuits, complete with tails and ears. Also, it was the day after Jen’s birthday and the actual birthday of Miss Audacious. Not only did the restaurant send over complimentary desserts, but there were birthday spankings. In the photo you can see a double-smacking by Sweetpea (the leopard-clad ass between the birthday girls).

After brunch we had some time to kill and several of us went back to the apartments to pack up and check out. Back at the studio we were going to have a workshop on Brand Building, but there really wasn’t enough time to delve into that important topic. Instead, we had a discussion of what we liked about the retreat and what could be improved for next time. I think we all agreed that there was a lot of value to the retreat in many ways and that some improvements could be made in transportation assistance and in schedule balance. For a first time event, it was very good.

After saying goodbye to everyone and thanking our instructors, I grabbed my big-ass suitcase and trundled off to Jackson Square, there to meet my hostess for the evening, Marrus (you know who she is; everyone knows Marrus). I relaxed and admired the mules while she got her car and packed up her art. The photo is of Claudia the Mule-icorn. Apparently mules like peppermints.

We had dinner at The Country Club and sat on the veranda, which was delightful. The conversation wandered all over the place from frivolous to incredibly serious and the food was terrific. I got a little tour of the beautifully painted dining rooms and the pool, although we didn’t swim.

The next morning I went with Marrus to set out her art on Jackson Square and then tour her remarkable gym. I had a little wander around the French Quarter until it was time to grab a cab to the airport. I always love to visit Fleur de Paris (and marvel at what a steal my hat was *mumble* years ago — I can’t afford any of their current offerings). And I picked up some pralines (and got schooled on the pronunciation — “prah-leens”) for the troupe.

The flight home was utterly uneventful and Scratch picked me up and took me straight to a rather cranky Albert. His favorite toy went missing right after I left and apparently I am the only one who could find it. And so I did.

It’s good to be home, but very soon I’ll be heading for Los Angeles and Michelle L’amour’s Stripper’s Holiday.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Dear Constant Reader,

I’ve been writing a report of my trip to the New Orleans Burlesque Retreat. You can read about what happened on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.

Despite the late night, I still managed to make it to yoga in the park, on time, even. It was a perfect way to wake up and get energized for another long day. At some point I looked down and saw a golden rhinestone just sitting on my yoga mat. It looked like one from my Stardust costume, which of course was safely home in Boston. Burlesque magic!

We stayed in the park for our next class, which was working with silk veils with Gaea Lady. There was no way we could have done it in the studio. I’ve been dancing with veils for a long time, but watching her in performance, I had no idea how she manipulated them in those amazing ways. The secret is in how the veils are constructed. My shoulder was so sore by the time we were done, but I wanted more. I should have taken a picture of how beautiful we looked with all that silk flying around. Many of the tourists certainly did.

This time we had our delightful vegan lunch, again made possible by Gaea, upstairs at Mr. Gregory’s, a nearby cafe. The photo is of the view from the balcony.

Our first class of the afternoon was Hosting with Lola van Ella. I’ve been impressed with her hosting skills (especially for a show I was in), so I was looking forward to what she had to say. I host from time to time and I was happy to get some pointers. She ran a great exercise that looked like a lot of fun, but we were running out of time, so I opted to let some of those with less experience get the practice.

Cultural Appropriation with local artist and activist JackSun was another fill-in class for the stranded Perle Noire. I admit that I was a touch worried because this topic often engenders finger-wagging and blame. I was so wrong. Jackie was an excellent lecturer and the thought-provoking concepts were tempered with humor and insight.

Sweetpea took everyone out into the shade in the park and gave us a shortened version of her Glitter Endurance workshop. She discussed healthy lifestyle choices, mostly focused on nutrition, so we can keeping doing what we do.

Bella offered to cancel the last workshop (which had been TBD). We all thought that would be a great idea and wearily went back to the apartments to rest before the evening’s activities. She also punted yoga for the next morning.

Many decided to go to Whiskey and Rhinestones, but I had other plans. An old friend of mine was in town from the West Coast for an academic conference. We met at Bacchanal (as recommended by Artemisia). I wasn’t aware of how incredibly popular the place was, especially on a Saturday night. There was a long line to get in and I was starting to regret the decision, but the wait wasn’t terrible. Once inside, we stood on the balcony, vaguely listening to the band, enjoying our wine and cheese, and catching up on our respective lives. It was lovely to see her and hear about her latest research (I’m not sorry I left academia, but sometimes it’s nice to visit). I’m looking forward to seeing her again when I visit L.A. later this month.

It wasn’t too late when I got back, but Miss Audacious and I got talking and before I knew it, it was 2 in the morning. Yikes! At least we could sleep in a little before our first class Sunday morning.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Dear Constant Reader,

If you’re just joining me, this are my adventures at the first New Orleans Burlesque Retreat. You can read about the first day here.

The retreat proper began on Thursday, although not too early. Since workshops didn’t start until the afternoon, most of us out-of-towners headed to the Ruby Slipper Cafe, a short walk from the apartments. All my good intentions went out the window with a biscuit loaded with cheddar, candied bacon (yes, you heard that right), and fried green tomato. It was just a delicious as it sounds.

Sally Stardust, Murphy Lawless, and I went to Trashy Diva for a little shopping before classes startted. Fortunately for my wallet, anything I liked wasn’t in my size. Murphy got a very glamourous and versatile dress that sorely tempted me, but alas, not in my size. I did pick up a little something for the troupe — a pair of ruffly panties for The Lost Girl so she can stop borrowing Betty’s (which she bought at Trashy Diva about 10 years ago).

We arrived at the New Orleans School of Burlesque, ready to start learning! It’s a small room with a wall of mirrors, right across from Louis Armstrong park. There’s no bathroom there, but there is a friendly bar next door that didn’t mind us trooping in and out between classes. Besides us out-of-towners, there were about half a dozen locals and a few people who dropped in for a class or two.

We started with a dose of burlesque history. I thought it was a great way to start things off. We have to know where we came from to know where we are going. There wasn’t a lot that was new to me, except for some New Orleans-specific history, which was great to learn.

Next was Total Confidence with Lola van Ella. We did a lot of exercises: walking, making eye contact, giving and receiving energy. My favorite was that everyone had to do a very short solo scene in which you encounter a rock. People were so creative! Everyone had such different ideas about the rock and what they did with it.

Lastly, Bella Blue taught us a short choreography with boas. It was beautiful and challenging. There are some moves that I’m absolutely using at some point. I was frantically taking notes, but at the end Bella performed the routine so we could video it for personal reference. So much more useful than my hasty scrawl.

We all hastened home to relax and get ready for our evening out. The lovely folks from Beauty Butler/Elektra Cosmetics invited us all over for dinner. They have two sphinx cats, so I got a little feline fix. I’ve never met a hairless cat before, but it’s like snuggling a velvet hot water bottle. And so sweet!

There was also glitter for sale at a phenomenal discount. I really should have bought some Bolt Balm, but I was wracked with indecision about color (so many colors!) and ended up buying nothing. I regret it.

Whilst there, the BHoF notifications went out and Bella Blue learned she was finally, after 7 years of applying, competing for Queen of Burlesque! I’m sure the neighbors were wondering what all the screaming and squealing was about.

After our kabobs and homemade beignets, we headed off to Whiskey and Rhinestones, Bella’s show every Thursday-Saturday night. I gather the audience is mostly tourists and it was packed! There were at least two bachelorette parties and some birthdays. We stood over by the bar to watch the show, since every table seat was sold out.

The performance area is a corridor down the center of the room, with the table seats on either side, very much like a classic runway stage. The audience is encouraged to tip, either directly into the tip jar, or by balling up their bills and tossing them onto the stage. I was surprised at how exciting and lively that made things. We don’t usually have tipping at our shows, but I’m hoping there’s a venue where it’s appropriate for us to try it out.

The performers that night were three of our instructors: Sweetpea, Gaea Lady, and Bella, of course. I swear Sweetpea (photo at right) was channeling Blaze Starr. Her look, her moves, her eroticism. I was completely captivated. Gaea was a walking advertisement for the veil workshop she would be teaching later. The way she manipulated the silk was simply breathtaking. At the time I had no idea how she did some of the moves. Bella, of course, was fantastic. She closed out the show with “Roxanne”, the act she would be doing at BHoF. It was even better than when she brought it to The Expo a couple of years ago.

After the show, I was completely exhausted, but Audacious convinced our group that a bite at Dat Dog was the way to end the evening. I wasn’t convinced until I saw they had duck sausage. Because I had no idea what toppings would go well on it (and there were SO MANY to chose from), I asked for “Chef’s choice” to dress my dog. The chef appeared to choose bacon, onions, chipotle mayo, Creole mustard, and bbq sauce. Fine by me.

And then I collapsed into bed very late for an early morning and a full day of workshops.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.