Dear Constant Reader,
I suppose I should make at least one Golden Pastie campaign promise related to the award itself:
If I win, I will petition venues to keep multiple colors of duct tape in the dressing room, including leopard-print.
Vote for me for The MacGyver Award!
Dear Constant Reader,
Here’s another Golden Pastie campaign promise:
I am a proud one-percenter. When I finish an act, only 1% of my body will be covered by a costume.
Vote for me for The MacGyver Award!
Dear Constant Reader,
I promised that if I was nominated for a Golden Pastie Award, I would make campaign promises. And I always keep my promises. Here’s the first one:
If I win, I will leak to the media racy photographs of myself in compromising positions.
Vote for me for The MacGyver Award!
Dear Constant Reader,
Thanks to you, I have been nominated for a Golden Pastie Award! Let me tell you, it’s an honor just to be nominated, especially since this is my first New York Burlesque Festival.
If you would, now please vote for me for The MacGyver Award (For the performer who can fix any costume malfunction anytime, anywhere, and with anything). I’ve got some really stiff competition — there are some talented and clever ladies on the list! You only need to vote once.
With your help, I can bring home that coveted Pastie!
Oh, The Glamourous Life! 