Big Time All the Time

Dear Constant Reader,

Just to give you a quick rundown of what’s going on right now.

The Boston BeauTease welcomed our newest batch of interns and other volunteers last night, which also happened to be Betty’s birthday. We don’t usual end rehearsals with a large spread of treats, but it was certainly an auspicious day to start working with us.

They’ll be helping out on our upcoming show The Big Time in two weeks. You’ll be able to see our current interns, Cara, Devastasia, Jeannie Martini, and Ruby Foxx, on stage showing off what they’ve learned, alongside The BeauTease.

Everyone will be performing brand-new, never-before-seen acts, expect Betty and I who will also be performing a second, favorite number from our respective repertoires. I’ll give you a hint: one involves a spiderweb and the other a bathtub.

The show is called The Big Time because we’re all using big props, most of which have been built expressly for this show, and have mostly been built by the performers themselves, with a *lot* of help and guidance from Scratch. We’ve been working in wood and metal and plastic and fabric and papier mache. We’ve been using power tools and paintbrushes and glue and electronics. Everyone has been working very hard and pushing themselves in many ways not just in building the props, but in all aspects of act creation.

I can’t wait for you to see what we’ve accomplished! Tickets are pretty cheap right now, but they’re going to go up at the door, so do yourself (and us) a favor and get yours now.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 8 May 2017 at 3:33 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Visit to Santa Fe

Dear Constant Reader,

After my performance in Albuquerque Friday night, I was off to Santa Fe the next day. Well, originally I was going to spend all Saturday in Albuquerque and take the train to Santa Fe on Sunday morning, but there was a burlesque show Saturday night and it seemed dumb to miss the opportunity. And then Dr. Jen offered to come get me and put me up, so it was a no-brainer.

The landscape is just breathtaking. That’s the word I just kept using because my vocabulary was inadequate. Mountains, mesas, exactly the colors you think of as “southwestern”. This photo does not do it justice.

We stopped at The Teahouse where I had a lovely cranberry almond scone. You know I take my scones very seriously and this was pretty fabulous. Serving it with lemon curd was a nice touch.

The burlesque show, put on by Zircus Erotique was at The Palace, which I was told was once a brothel. It certainly has the right decor — red flocked wallpaper, decorative ceilings, and fancy chandeliers. The performance was at one end of the dining room — no stage, which is always a challenge. We were sitting in the bar, watching the show through open windows in the partition between rooms. Not terribly ideal sight lines, especially since the place was packed.

After doors opened, go-go dancers began circulating through the venue. Until the show started and then again at intermission, they slithered and shimmied through both rooms, getting up close with the patrons, but never being intrusive. This was a new approach to me, which worked well because of the lack of a stage and the aforementioned sight line issues.

The show itself was many of the same performers I had worked with the night before, but not necessarily the same acts. I really can’t give you a blow-by-blow this time because I don’t have a set list to jog my memory.

I was impressed with the Mosaic Dance Company, a trio of belly dancers with some really tight choreography.

I was eagerly awaiting Sophia Sunday’s second number because I assumed it would be the razor blades I had missed Friday night. However, it was something entirely different, but still weird and wonderful. She started on a chaise, fairly classic, but after stripping a bit, she set a bed of nails on it. She proceeded to demonstrate that she’s not called “The Pain Proof Pinup” for nothing. I loved the stocking removes. The act was kind of like this.

Al Monds danced with a flowing white cape she used to great effect. Lola was trying to remember the dance pioneer she resembled. Loie Fuller, I called out.

Lola Van Ella once again impressed me with her stage presence and stripping, this time to one of Scratch’s favorite Doors songs. She works the audience so well. I learned a lot from watching her.

The stand out of the evening for me was Holly Rebelle. So far this weekend I had seen her be classic and be vaudevillian, but for her last act, she was just fierce AF with a passionate performance to “Sabotage”. She told me before the show she was nervous about it, but she dominated that room.

After the show Dr. Jen’s assistant, Gia, wanted to meet some of the performers and do some networking. I did feel sort of weird making the introductions when I’d only met some of these people the night before.

The next day Dr. Jen, Gia, and I went to Ten Thousand Waves. It’s a beautiful, tranquil Japanese bath house and spa. It’s one of those places that looks like it could have opened yesterday, because everything is so beautifully maintained, or always been there, since the architecture is so harmonious and fits perfectly in its setting. We got a private tub and it was just the thing for a weary traveler to stretch and soak. I will definitely be back.

I insisted we go to the Georgia O’Keeffe Museum, since how could I be in New Mexico and not see some of her art. The first thing that surprised me was that you could take pictures of most of the art; only a few items were labeled as off limits. The other surprise was the painting to the right. I immediately recognized New York, just from those few shapes. Like most, I associate O’Keeffe with southwestern landscapes and yonic flowers. This painting changed my perspective on her style. It’s a toss up between this and a more expected calla lily as my favorite work.

On the way to Jen’s log cabin/lab in the mountains, we stopped at the town of Español for dinner at El Paragua for some local cuisine. I couldn’t decide, so I got an (enormous) combination plate (that I barely made a dent in). I got to try carne adovada (pork in a red chile sauce) and posole (hominy and pork stew) and sopapillas (heaven in a basket — pillowy fried dough with honey). I’m a big wimp when it comes to spice, so I was pleasantly surprised that the adovada wasn’t too hot for my palate. The red sauce on the enchilada was another story. Because I had to try green chile eventually, I tried a bite of Jen’s chile relleno and determined that while the heat wouldn’t kill me, I still don’t like green peppers in any form.

And then we continued the long, very scenic drive up into the mountains. I’m positive I’ve never been at an elevation that high before.

As this has gotten quite long, Dear Reader, and I have now left the city in the title, I shall sign off for now and perhaps take up my narrative again tomorrow.

Published in: on 29 March 2017 at 2:56 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Night of Classic Burlesque

Dear Constant Reader,

I’d been looking for an excuse to make a trip to the Southwest and when I saw my friend Holly Rebelle looking for out of town performers for her show in Albuquerque, I jumped at the chance. I met Holly at The Great Burlesque Expo something like 9 years ago, at which she and her troupe took home a Howard Award. I know she wasn’t expecting anyone from as far out of town as I am, but it turned out I wasn’t the only one who came from the East Coast!

Dr. Wilson of the Theatre of Miracles in Maine had relocated to Albuquerque and he and his lovely wife graciously offered me a place to stay. They’ve got a gorgeous guest suite and parrots! I couldn’t linger too long, because I was off early to tech for the show.

I had been nervous because Holly specifically requested “An Invitation”, which requires some set pieces that I couldn’t bring with me (I can barely transport Super Screen in my car, let alone by plane). She and David came through for me with the required screen and a backlight.

Launchpad, the venue, is the sort of place I’ve performed at before. It’s made for bands, with a high, carpeted stage, a tiny dressing room and a bar up front. The crew did a great job, bringing in pipe and drape to make the stage more burlesque friendly, and the performers took over the back half of the balcony, so as not to crowd the dressing room for when someone actually needed to dress. Also, a nice (and necessary touch) was a big cooler full of ice and bottled water for the performers. Albuquerque is incredibly dry and also at about 5000 feet above sea level. Both of which were a new experience for this New England gal and I was very careful not to get slammed by either, especially since I was also terribly short on sleep.

I did have time between tech and doors open to go down the block and relax over a light supper at Duel Brewing, which was lovely — four kinds of cheese and an array of sweet and sour accompaniments.

I was on near the end of the line-up, so I got to see much of the show, albeit from way in the back. Feisty Baudelaire let me have a corner of her merch table to vend my little book. It was a *long* show. Apparently the venue requires a three and a half hour show, but Holly and crew made sure it was entertaining.

Albuquerque poster

The show started with a stand-up comedy set (which I missed completely) and then we got into the burlesque. Hostess Lola Van Ella graced us all the way from St. Louis. She began by singing “Let Me Entertain You”, a promise of what was to come. I don’t think I can give you a blow by blow of the entire show, since I didn’t see all of it and it kind of ran together into a lovely, glittery blur, due to exhaustion and excitement. I’ll do the best I can.

  • Soiree Entertainment opened the show with a group dance with a tiny bit of stripping to “Feelin’ Good” (almost the same version The BeauTease use).
  • Lana Montresse did a classic strip with boa and gown.
  • Mena Domina had a gorgeous act with silk veil fans and a cape that transformed her into a delicate moth.
  • I was delighted when Annie O’Roar used a version of “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” that I thought no one else knew for her bellydance-inspired striptease. Also, she had a magnificent fabric boa.
  • Holly Rebelle did a sensual strip moving from a mostly black ensemble to white underthings, including a magnificent rhinestoned corset. EDIT: See it here.
  • Godiva Bleu had a truly impressive headdress. From where I was sitting, I didn’t realize the significance of the green decorations on her costume until she lit up. And then she was as high as her headdress.
  • Rebel, all the way from North Carolina, just blew me away with his high-energy moves.
  • Vivian MirAnn was slinky to “Minnie the Moocher” and showered herself and the audience with coins.
  • Sophia Sunday showed off her sideshow roots with something very naughty with balloons.
  • Lola Van Ella sang again, but I can’t remember what.
  • There was a lengthy intermission, but it was filled with live music from Eddie Brewer & The Manic Episodes.

  • Holly Rebelle opened the second act by performing with the band. After snuggling up to the keyboard player and then stripping a bit, she moved to center stage and began tap dancing. And continued stripping. “true vaudeville” said Lola. EDIT: See it here.
  • At this point I went to the dressing room to get ready, so my descriptions are about to get even hazier.

  • Mayo Lua de Frenchie did something funky in a purple pants suit with a chair and rather impressive boots.
  • Mischa Mischief had a gorgeous lilac-themed costume, which I had seen hanging in the dressing room. I’m sorry I missed this one.
  • Miss Conduct was another one I missed. I know she had a fur stole…
  • Feisty Baudelaire was classic with a gown and gloves strip, but she had this rose-trimmed picture hat that made the whole costume special.
  • Joy Coy ushered in spring with an adorable bunny costume and spot-on musicality.
  • Rebel burned up the stage again, in a sparkling, fuzzy, pink suit.
  • Then it was my turn. I was so happy that the stage had steps up front so I could enter the way the act is designed, through the audience. The train on my robe looks so much better slithering up stairs.
  • I’m so sorry I missed Sophia Sunday‘s next act (I was getting dressed again). She did a spin on Scratch’s “Urban Legend” aka swallowing razor blades. While stripping.
  • Vivian MirAnn got up close and very personal with the audience in a stunning blue costume.
  • Lola Van Ella closed out the show with a dead sexy striptease to “St. James Infirmary”.
  • The show was so good, so strong, so many excellent performances. I’m so pleased to have been a part of it!

    Here’s everyone! All photos by KayLynn Aragon Photography

    After the curtain call, my hosts took my weary ass home. At that point, not counting the fitful naps I got on the planes, I’d been up for 22 hours.

    Thank you to everyone who came out and supported the show and especially those of you who stayed for the whole thing! Big thanks to Holly for inviting me out and being so wonderful. And deep gratitude to Mr. Rebelle, the Kitten Squad, and all the tech crew — you made my act look great. Finally, to my fellow performers — it was great meeting all of you and seeing you strut your stuff. Thanks for being so welcoming to a traveling showgirl!

    Published in: on 27 March 2017 at 12:12 pm  Leave a Comment  
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    Return to The Wrathskellar

    Dear Constant Reader,

    The Wrathskellar reopens for business tonight and every night through Halloween!

    We’ve added a few more tantalizing artifacts and ephemera to the show and another act entirely. And delightful cocktails to supplement the treats in the bar.
    (click for a more readable version)

    We’ve been getting so great reviews, like:

    “This was amazing. It was beautiful and haunting and intriguing. I, seriously, lost track of time and wish I had more time in the show. Go early if you can is my advice. There’s so much to see.”

    “…this is the best burlesque I have seen in Boston. The performers are engaged, clearly having fun, professional, and entertaining.”

    “Just went and saw this show today! It was awesome. Get tickets and go if you can. Share around otherwise, let’s get word out. Burlesque haunted experiences for all!”

    “I was expecting a “Sleep No More”-like immersive theater experience, and it absolutely delivered. However, I was not expecting it to be so quietly disturbing.”

    We’ve added one more show on November 5th (remember, remember…). It will be the last chance to see Wrathskellar Tales in this setting. Ever. Really.

    If you’re intrigued by what went into creating this unique and complex show (and want to know all the secrets), please join us for Inside “Wrathskellar Tales” on November 4th. Guests will get a guided tour of the installation and participate in a Q&A with the cast. And then you’ll have one last chance to see the show the next night.

    Last night we filmed the acts for posterity. In November the performance spaces cease to exist and will never return, and many of the acts cannot be performed outside of this setting.

    Here’s The Diva in her Boudior preparing to bathe as her Maid looks on anxiously.
    (photo by Susanna)

    M2

    Published in: on 27 October 2016 at 11:41 am  Leave a Comment  
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    Unexpected Events

    Dear Constant Reader,

    I didn’t expect to be writing to you for I didn’t think there would be anything noteworthy. I hoped the show last night would be uneventful. Today I expected to be recovering from weeks of hard work by sleeping in, relaxing, and perhaps taking care of some of the little things that have been falling by the wayside during the Wrathskellar build.

    Last night things were completely uneventful, for me anyway, until half an hour before the end of the show. I went into my dressing room to discover that Pearl was helping one of the maids (aka stage hands) pick out pasties. This is how I discovered that Brigitte had had a family emergency* and left early in the show. Other cast members had been filing in during her numbers as best they could all night. I had been so involved in my own thing that I never realized. Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t know until so late in the show, which reduced the freaking out, but gave me enough time to prepare myself for the finale being short a person.

    That over with, I was looking forward to greeting some folks I knew in the bar and then going home for some cat snuggling and greatly-needed sleep.

    That’s when Scratch told me the streets were flooded. We were in a basement. There was water pouring into the kitchen area. Like, broken pipe levels of water.

    After cutting the bar entertainments short and sending the patrons on their way, the cast and crew mobilized. We frantically began moving everything out of the kitchen area, but the water kept coming. The water filled the bar and started running down the left-hand hallway into the performance space. We started clearing set dressing as fast as possible from the path of the water. The water kept coming. Running into The Sewing Room, then The Lost Girl’s Garret, into the Left Luggage Office. It started pouring into the back dressing room, and into The Contessa’s Seraglio.

    Contrast this picture with the one from opening night.

    Thanks to herculean effort from everyone, cast, crew, staff, and a couple of volunteers, we got everything, including the draperies that create the spaces, up off the floor. We had a ton of electronics that needed to be moved to safety. I don’t know how, but even the piano got moved out of the flood area and up onto blocks.

    After everything was safe, the water removal kicked into high gear. Most of the cast was released at this point. Heroic effort was made by those who remained: Scratch, Hunter, Mr. Cleave (one of the performers in the bar), Marek (a frequent volunteer) & his dad, Matt (our occasional trumpet player) who had just come to enjoy the show, and Betty. I am so grateful to all of them for their hard work.

    We had an industrial shop-vac and the water was deep enough in some places that it could be bailed with improvised buckets. Scratch uncovered what we hoped was a drain, but turned out to be an old sump pit. Marek drove Betty to her house to get her sump pump (I miss the days when Home Depot was open 24 hours…), which Hunter got up and running.

    Around 1:30am when Scratch, Hunter, Betty, and I called it quits, the water was noticeably lower.

    I’m told that there’s a plumbing crew in there now, doing arcane flood prevention and water draining things. In a few hours we’ll go over, assess the damage, and hopefully clean up, wash the floors, repaint where necessary, and reset all the spaces.

    You know what they say about the show going on…

    M2* She’s fine. Everybody involved is fine. She’ll be back tonight.

    Published in: on 22 October 2016 at 11:06 am  Leave a Comment  
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    Wrathskellar Tales Opens

    Dear Constant Reader,

    We opened Wrathskellar Tales last night. I’m beyond exhausted and not even sure where to begin. Forgive me if I ramble.

    It’s not a traditional burlesque show. We (and by we, I mean mostly Scratch and a very small crew) turned the space that will be The Thalia, a long-neglected basement, into “backstage” at The Wrathskellar. This was a massive build, bigger than anything we’d ever done before, and a lot of things couldn’t really be stage-faked, since the guests can explore and rummage through things. Besides the performances space, we also needed to redo the bathroom (it was so gross), create a box office, a coat check, a bar/kitchen/music hall area, and get a piano down the stairs.

    This has been so time consuming. Most of the cast put in long days and/or evenings doing whatever we could, often when we were supposed to be rehearsing. I know it was making Scratch crazy (“A performer’s job is to perform!”), but he couldn’t turn down the help.

    Instead of a linear show with acts that appear on stage one-by-one with props and set pieces being moved around, we have a number of performance areas, each of which has to be dressed appropriately. And we need to salt the place with interesting tidbits to intrigue the guests. I’m really grateful to the skilled artists who helped make the place beautiful (for some sense of beautiful) as well as the cast who took initiative in creating the decor for their spaces.

    Just to give you an idea, here’s Betty as The Contessa lounging in her Seraglio.

    I’d say we were about 90% ready when we opened last night. There are a bunch of things we wanted to happen that got shelved for now. Don’t worry — we’ll be putting them in as we go. Because the build went so long and there were so many complications, we only got to try out the tech on Wednesday and last night was the first time with audience. When you’re doing an interactive show, it doesn’t matter how much you rehearse and try to prepare, everything changes when you bring in the people. There was a fair bit of winging it.

    The biggest issues I was aware of last night were definitely audio. Every space has its individual soundscape and audio gear. We synchronize our watches and all hit “play” at the same time. There’s no way to run the music in a centralized way (not on our budget). Personally, I had several problems in my Boudoir. Thank goodness Hunter was around to fix my speakers early on, but there was nothing that could be done when my player froze, other than reboot it (I don’t know how long that took, but it felt like years). But that pales in comparison to Devora, who had no working sound in either of her performance areas. Because she’s just that good, she ran her numbers in silence.

    I have every confidence that these kinks will all get ironed out post-haste.

    The best part of last night for me was finally performing with my bathtub! I’ve been working on this act for more than a year — getting the tub in performance condition took longer than choreographing. Scratch has been a huge help in making this dream of mine come true. Not only has he lent his tech expertise and skills, he kept encouraging me, even when it was too overwhelming.

    No pictures of me yet, so if you want to see me in my Catherine D’Lish and Glorious Pasties splendor, you’ll need to see the show.

    We’ve got three more performances this week and five next week. Please join us for burlesque, creepiness, great food, live music, mysteries, magic, and more atmosphere than you can handle. Tickets are available at wrathskellar.com. There are a limited number of tickets per entrance time, so don’t wait.

    Down we go!

    M2

    Published in: on 21 October 2016 at 2:58 pm  Leave a Comment  
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    Busy Weekend

    Dear Constant Reader,

    Wrathskellar Tales opens on Thursday, so this is crunch time and we should be working round the clock in the space. Instead we did two traveling shows back to back.

    Friday evening saw us at RuffleCon, an alternative fashion conference in Connecticut. Some of us were there last year and were delighted to be invited back. We love showing off some of our finest costumes at this event. Because they specifically asked for a male burlesque dancer, we were pleased to share the stage with Mister Twister, visiting from Chicago.

    This year the show was at 8:30 pm, rather than late night, so the audience was thinner and much more sober. Still, it was a great time and the audience enjoyed it. The earlier time slot mean that some of us packed up and headed out right after so we could get a few hours of work on Wrathskellar Tales the next day. I was sorry to miss the themed cocktails, the vendors, wearing a petticoat, sleeping over and having breakfast with the other BeauTease. Still, waking up in my own bed was worth getting home at two in the morning. And I had a costume to finish.

    Saturday night we headed north to New Hampshire and Another Anime Convention. We had been invited the entertain the “Educating Sherlock” panel attendees with a Victorian Bordello show. This was a ton of fun! We carefully curated a show to fit the theme and Scratch introduced us as the various offerings in Mistress Irene’s House of Ill Repute.

    • Pearl did a sweet strip with a parasol to Flanders and Swann’s “Have Some Madeira, M’dear”.
    • I did a fan dance, of course.
    • Brigitte performed one of The Broad’s drunken acts. It’s subtly different when Brigitte does it then when The Broad does…
    • Devora did a beautiful bubble dance en pointe with a huge balloon.
    • Scratch preformed a minor miracle, appropriately enough, using ropes.
    • Betty laughed in the face of danger as she cut her clothes off with a wickedly sharp knife.
    • Brigitte showed her artistic side as a photographer in “Still Life (with Banana)”
    • Pearl and I closed things out the perennial favorite, “Mistress & Maid”. It was kind of required for this crowd with the spanking and all.

    And then there was chocolate in naughty shapes before we had to head back to Boston. We had a fantastic time and our hostesses wrote a glowing review which delighted us so.

    And now it’s Wrathskellar Tales all the time. We open on Thursday! Do you have your tickets yet?

    M2

    Published in: on 18 October 2016 at 2:30 pm  Leave a Comment  
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    So Much Fun

    Dear Constant Reader,

    Friday night we were hired to entertain at a bachelor party, but not the sort you might expect. The groom-to-be and his friends wanted a little burlesque show and then they were going to spend the rest of the night playing Magic: The Gathering. So, we put together a show we thought they’d appreciate.

    Elsa Riot opened the show with an ethereal fan dance as Tyrande Whisperwind from World of Warcraft.

    Betty Blaize, our resident computer geek, showed how hot a new laptop can make her.

    Scratch performed a bit of prestidigitation while Elsa changed in record time from Dark Elf to…

    …Number One Starfleet Officer. This was a brand-new act she created just for this party and tested out at The Teaseday Club. Her costuming was an incredibly clever use of re-purposed items.

    And I closed everything out as The Faerie Queene. I was feeling smug that my final flower production was a coveted Black Lotus. Sadly, the flower lost structural integrity as I materialized it and I could only gift the guest of honor with a handful of black petals.

    It was a great change of pace to do a show like this and I think we had as much fun as the guests did.

    Here’s Tyrande and Titania!

    M2

    Published in: on 11 October 2016 at 2:52 pm  Leave a Comment  
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    My First Time

    Dear Constant Reader,

    A discussion elsewhere reminded me of my first burlesque performance on a professional stage.

    It was July 2005. I had been performing for a while at private events and I thought I was ready to step a toe onto the larger stage of burlesque. In May Scratch and I had been in NYC (I remember it was Fleet Week and there were sailors everywhere) and had gone to Le Scandal at The Cutting Room. During the show I answered a trivia question and when I hastened onto stage to claim my prize (a lovely pair of pasties that I still have), Bonnie Dunn asked me if I was a burlesque performer. I guess there was just something about my look. We talked a little after the show and via email.

    We decided that I would come down to New York, we’d have lunch and talk about me performing at Le Scandal, and then I’d come see the show. This was exciting (I might perform in New York!) and nerve-wracking (I had to drive and park in The City!). The night before I was at my parents’ house in Connecticut and I called Bonnie to finalize plans.

    “Did you bring a costume? Do you want to perform tomorrow? I had a cancellation.” I mentally riffled through my suitcase: a black cocktail dress, black opera gloves, very plain black strapless bra, black satin bikini panties, not-very-high heels, rhinestone jewelry. I said “Of course!” with a confidence I did not feel. “But I’ll have to borrow a pair of pasties”. Then I hung up and saw my hands were shaking.

    The next day Bonnie and I had a pleasant lunch and chatted about all sorts of things. I tried like hell not to show that I was terrified and completely unprepared for that night.

    Then I went shopping. First to Abracadabra for a black turkey ruff boa. Then Victoria’s Secret for a pair of stay-up stockings. And finally Tower Records for a CD of Peggy Lee’s greatest hits — life before smart phones.

    I went out for a soothing sushi dinner with Scratch’s sister, her husband, and their then-infant daughter, but I just picked at my maki, too anxious to enjoy. Worrying about my performance, I was running the act in my head, because I had no way to listen to my song (see above note about life before smart phones). I wasn’t even sure I remembered how many verses there were. I was basically going to be winging it, based on the costume I had, but hey, I’ve got lots of experience improvising in other performance forms. I was vacillating between “I can do this!” and “Please let me pull this off without humiliating myself!”

    I was also feeling very alone. There wasn’t going to be a single person I knew in that audience. Scratch had called to wish me luck. He’d actually considered driving down to see my surprise debut, but that would have been kind of crazy.

    I arrived at The Cutting Room and joined the other performers in a hallway to get ready. Bonnie loaned me a pair of pasties — pink sequins with pink fringe. They contrasted nicely with my funereal outfit. Thinking about all that flat black makes me cringe. As does the fact that I wore actual underwear on stage. Nasty Canasta let me use some of her liquid latex.

    Eric the host asked me for an intro and I went completely blank. I stammered something about being “Banned in Boston”. Then it was show time. We waited in the wings. I remember the other performers were Anita Cookie, who was so brash and confident, even when she lost a pastie, Nasty Canasta and Jonny Porkpie, who had terrible trouble with their CD and had to try, I think, three times before they could actually do their act, and of course Bonnie Dunn.

    Oh God, suddenly it was my turn. Because of Nasty & Jonny’s tech problems, I went on sooner than planned. My hands were shaking. “Fever” started playing. I put on an attitude I didn’t really feel and strutted onto stage. It was one of those “fake it ’til you make it” moments. It was also the longest three minutes and twenty-two seconds ever.

    I remember turning my back on the audience a lot. I also remember getting a big cheer for a shimmy. I realized at one point that I had way too much time left and got down on the floor to take off my stockings, which I hadn’t planned to do. I *think* I was smiling, but I’m hoping I had at least a pleasantly neutral expression. I know I never just relaxed and enjoyed myself; I was too busy trying to figure out what to do next. I’m sure it wasn’t as bad a performance as I think it was, but it was certainly not a particularly polished one.

    And then it was over. I was handed the champagne bucket and went around for tips. I didn’t even have a robe with me, but I can’t remember if someone loaned me one or I just put my dress back on. People actually tipped me!

    And then it was really over. Bonnie paid everyone and I headed back to CT, exhausted and elated and excited for future performances. I got hideously lost on the way (This was pre-GPS). I had to call Scratch who talked me back to the right highway.

    That, my Constant Readers, was my first public, professional burlesque performance. Do I wish I had been more prepared? Of course. I could hardly have been less prepared. Am I glad I did it? Yes! It was a bit like jumping into the deep end of pool full of icebergs, but I certainly learned a lot from the experience.

    And ever since I always carry a pair of pasties when I travel.

    M2

    Published in: on 29 September 2016 at 10:54 am  Leave a Comment  
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    Well, That Was Exciting!

    Dear Constant Reader,

    On Friday The Boston BeauTease were hired to performing at a convention-like event. As is our wont, we arrived two hours before showtime, which was 6pm. This is important.

    By about 4:30 we had unpacked, set up all the props and set pieces, and were starting to get ourselves ready to warm up the show, when Scratch said “Places in 25 minutes”. Despite having been contracted to go on at 6pm, we were on the schedule for 5pm and there was nothing anyone could do to change it. Yikes!

    We frantically did hair & makeup while Scratch frantically tried to find the tech guy. That took awhile (I guess he also thought we were on at 6) and bought us a little time. Then they discovered the power to the outlets was out in the ballroom. I believe there was a little magic involving extension cords from the lighting and sound gear to another room.

    Scratch insisted that we needed time to each run one number on the stage, so Betty, D.D. and I ran our opening trio and Pearl did the first half of her Nina Simone medley. And it was a damn good thing we had the chance. The stage had an… interesting… surface and it was the only warm-up any of us got.

    Because of the tech issues, I think we started at 5:15 and still had to be done at 6 sharp.

    It wasn’t the worst show we’ve ever done, but it was far from the best.

    Changes backstage were very tight and there were a lot of shaky hands from all the adrenaline. We helped each other as much as possible. And it was hot in the function room and we were all rather sweaty, which made dressing quickly even more difficult. Pearl experienced her first ever pastie pop during Mistress and Maid, probably because of sweaty skin. I’m amazed we didn’t have more problems.

    Scratch had to cut a number on the fly [EDIT: Scratch reminds me it was actually two numbers. I was so frazzled I didn’t even realize the other one never happened], so we could finish on schedule. Everyone took it in stride, even though it meant losing a few precious minutes to change costumes.

    This was the first show for Carla, our stage kitten. She handled the craziness with grace, did her job, helped where she could, and otherwise stayed out of our way. We couldn’t have asked for more.

    Remember I mentioned the issue with the power? At the climax of Betty’s new fire-themed act, her bench bursts into flame, a la Blaze Starr. Scratch plugged the effect in backstage at the climactic moment and… nothing happened. Because all the outlets were dead. *face palm*

    We managed to finish the show on time (or close to it) and I think the audience enjoyed it. Whew! Not an experience I’m eager to repeat any time soon.

    M2

    Published in: on 8 August 2016 at 11:27 am  Comments (2)  
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