Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! This week’s tip is one I was sure I had given you before, but I guess I didn’t.

Before using anything messy on stage (water, glitter, blood, tissue paper butterflies, &c.) check with the producer *first* for approval. If you get permission, bring whatever supplies are needed to protect the stage and clean up afterwards.

Be considerate of your fellow performers as well as the venue! You don’t want to leave anything on stage that could stain their costumes or cause them to slip. You might need a tarp to contain your detritus, especially if it’s liquid, or a broom or vacuum cleaner, which is the only way to really get rid of glitter.

When I do “French Champagne“, I bring 2 small oriental rugs with rubberized bottoms to catch the champagne I pour over myself. After Red Rum’s mummy number, the stage is covered with talcum powder, but she brings a shop vac to get it all up. Vivi Noir does a glitter pour inside a bath tub. There’s all sorts of creative ways you can keep your mess from messing up anyone else.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! It’s been pouring here in Boston, so let me see if I can come up with a thematic tip… Got it! Here’s your tip:

If you work with liquid in your act, even just a little, remember to pack a towel (for drying off afterward), a plastic bag (for wet costume items), and something to protect the stage (a tarp, a rug, a bathmat, &c.).

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

It’s just fabric. Go ahead and cut it.

I can’t be the only one who gets paralyzed at the thought of cutting into some gorgeous fabric and so the costume project gets delayed and delayed from fear of ruining the material.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Improvisation requires rehearsal.

Improvisation is a skill and thus needs practice like any other sort of stagecraft. The ability to improvise an act is not the same as just getting up on stage and winging it. You need to practice the abilities that make it possible to go out on stage, make up a dance, and look like it’s easy.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday. Here’s your tip!

Rhinestones are like precious gems. Surround them with a secure setting, using extra glue.

You can see to the left, as I repair my favorite Amber Ray hair flower, that I let some of the glue ooze out from under the stone. It may look awful at the moment, but it dried clear (always use a glue that dries clear…) and now I can’t even tell which stone it was.

You are creating a bezel (ring-shaped setting) that will cradle your rhinestone and keep it securely in place. You want just enough extra glue to surround the stone without squishing all over the place. And you’ll have the added security of knowing that the back of the stone is completely coated in glue.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Just keep going.

If something goes wrong on stage, just keep going as best you can. You may be thinking very fast on your feet, but don’t let the audience see that you are and chances are they’ll never know there was a problem.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

If you frequently cut sticky things, like, say, pastie tape, invest in a pair of scissors with Teflon-coated blades.

I love these little scissors and always carry them in my makeup kit. On the rare occasions I’ve had to cut my pastie tape with regular scissors, I’m always surprised at how quickly they get gummy.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I hope all of my American Readers have a great Independence Day tomorrow and everyone else has a pleasant Saturday.

This week’s tip harks back to last week’s about tissues.

Handkerchiefs are classy.

I stand by my tip that having a packet of tissues to hand is a useful thing, but also consider carrying a handkerchief. They are so much nice for weeping into, patting your glowingly damp brow, waving farewell, flirtatiously dropping, and surreptitiously wrapping up leftover petits fours.

Gentlemen, this goes for you too!

It’s thoughtful to give a crying friend a tissue, but so much more of a gesture to hand over your hanky. (If you’re on the receiving end, offer to launder it after you’ve used it. It’s a great excuse to get together again.)

It’s not so easy to find handkerchiefs for women these days. Men’s are usually available where suits are sold. Just make sure they are actually handkerchiefs and not pocket squares. Pocket squares are excellent and should be worn, but they are for decoration only.

Vintage handkerchiefs are easy to find and often inexpensive (I can usually find nice ones between $3 and $5). Here’s a few from my collection:

Hankies are also very simple to make. Cut a square of fabric (linen or cotton are traditional). 13×13 is a good size for a lady’s handkerchief, I’ve found. Add a narrow hem and you’re all set! If you’re that sort of person, you can add all sorts of embellishment — lace, embroidery, &c.

I’m still rather proud of this “something blue” handkerchief I made for my sister:

It has an embroidered initial, decorative hemstitching, and handmade tatted lace. Obviously you don’t have to go all out like that.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Always carry a packet of tissues.

They are so useful! Besides blowing your nose or drying your tears (something I’ve had to do a bit today #lovewins), you can use them in all sorts of pinches: to blot sweat, remove your makeup (you are using Drag Eraser, right?), pick up icky things, separate your toes for pedicure repair, as emergency toilet paper, &c.

I got this charming pocket-sized tissue case from Pinky Shines at BurlyCon and it’s been in my purse ever since.