Dear Constant Reader,
I know I’ve been away from my writing desk for ages. I will try to find some time to let you know all about what’s been going on with The W.R. Athskellar Cavalcade of Curiosities.
Today’s tip comes from poet Shel Silverstein:
Some kind of help is the kind of help that helping’s all about. And some kind of help is the kind of help we all can do without.
I think we’ve all found ourselves either giving or receiving that second kind of help…
Dear Constant Reader,
Happy Friday! I’m sorry for the lack of epistles, but things have been a little frantic as we get ready for The W. R. Athskellar Cavalcade of Curiosities. More frantic than planned, but that’s a story for another time.
Today’s tip is about bras and it’s not just for the burlesque performer.
Your bra’s band should go straight across your back. If it rises up between your shoulder blades, it’s too big.
Too often ladies compensate for a band that’s too loose by tightening up the shoulder straps more, which only compounds the problem. A properly fitting band should be snug, but you should still be able to slip one finger under it. The shoulder straps should never be cutting into your flesh.
Dear Constant Reader,
I find myself sewing a lot of snaps on costumes right now. Lining up the halves perfectly can be fussy. Here’s a little tip that will help:
For perfectly aligned snaps, sew one half of the snap in place, rub it with chalk, then close the garment as if it was being worn. There will be a chalk mark right where the other half of the snap should be sewn.
Dear Constant Reader,
A couple of notes before we get to your tip.
First, between the Boston Babydolls’ show and the B.A.B.E. workshop we raised $550 for Dixie Evans Week. Thank you to everyone who participated!
Next, Tuesday is Teaseday! Get your tickets in advance and save! Support your favorite performer and she might get The Great Teaseday Cookie! Last I heard Vikki Likkerish was in the lead.
Now for that tip!
Make your act the same length as your music.
I’ve seen too many performers walk off stage while their music is still playing or have the music end before the act is over. The key is to know your music, know your choreography, and know where the 2 intersect.
You should have milestones in the music and in your choreography, so even if you get a little off-track, you can find your place again. You might have to briefly vamp or speed up, but it shouldn’t be too noticeable, if you are confident in what you do.
If you’re still always coming up short, edit the music or adjust your choreography.
Dear Constant Reader,
I know some showgirls have been spending this week out in the desert*. This tip is for them (and anyone else who finds themselves with a similar hair emergency):
For hair that is dry, dusty, and in need of a refresher: wrap a natural bristle brush with cheesecloth (so the bristles poke through) and spritz with rose water. Brush your hair. Change the cheesecloth as it gets dirty.
Of course, you can use any flower water with a scent you like, or even plain water in a pinch (preferably bottled or filtered).
*Burning Man is so not my thing, but if it’s yours, I hope you’ve been having fun!
Dear Constant Reader,
Happy Friday! How about a tip?
Get permission before leaving stuff all over the stage, like glitter, water, confetti, torn-up paper, broken glass, &c.
It’s just polite to your fellow performers and producers. You certainly don’t want to be the reason burlesque is banned from a venue. Or piss someone off because your residue got all over their costume or made the stage slippery.
A good way to get permission to make your mess is to prove you’ll disrupt the show as little as possible while still returning the venue to its original state. Have a plan in advance for your clean-up. That may mean bringing a vacuum cleaner or performing on a tarp. Request to perform right before intermission, if possible, so your clean-up doesn’t slow down the show.
I practice what I preach. Or at least I try. “Lizzie Borden” uses water, so I perform it on a faux Oriental rug. Once I forgot the carpet, realized it on the way to the venue, and bought a plastic drop cloth. It should have been fine, if not as aesthetically pleasing. There was this stagehand, who I think really didn’t want to be working this show. I asked him to lay out the plastic near my water bucket and he just sort of tossed the folded-up packet randomly on stage… after my music had started. I tried to go light on the water and still do a good act, but I was cringing every time a splash hit the stage. I felt terrible, especially when the hosts ran out with paper towels afterwards.
Dear Constant Reader,
I just realized that last Friday was a momentous occasion — the 100th Friday Tip!
Here’s the start of the second century…
Rehearse with your costume as soon as possible.
Burlesque is *so* costume-dependent. Your choreography may have to change because of your costume or vice versa. It might turn out to be completely impossible to unzip your dress in the time you allotted when you first created the dance.
“Air clothing” comes off so much more easily and smoothly than the real thing. If your costume isn’t ready for rehearsal, it’s better to use a substitute garment that’s going to behave similarly (“stunt clothing”, we call it) than pantomime.
And rehearse with as much of the costume as you can. If the sequins on your skirt keep getting caught on your fishnets, you’ll have time to make adjustments, instead of finding out there’s a problem when you’re on stage.
Dear Constant Reader,
This is a special Friday Tip, laden with sorrow.
Always remember those who came before.
Saturday night at the Ohio Burlesque Festival, shortly before the headliners started, Scratch came over to me and said simply, “Dixie died.”
Dixie Evans, The Marilyn Monroe of Burlesque, was the godmother of modern burlesque. She took dreams of a burlesque museum and made them reality. She created the Miss Exotic World pageant. In some way or another every current burlesque performer can trace their heritage back to Dixie and her work to keep burlesque alive. At the end of this month, performers around the world planned classes and shows to celebrate her 87th birthday and raise money for her care.
While I stood there, stunned and sad, Bella Sin began talking to Scratch. I knew what she was asking. It was a heavy request, but we all knew he was the right person.
When the show was over, and the stage was filled with energized performers having just taken their final curtain call, Scratch took the stage to announce our loss.
He spoke eloquently about Dixie’s life and legacy. About her importance to the burlesque world and her connection to all of us. And then he began to choke up: “I think you know where I’m going with this. (Fuck!) Dixie died this afternoon.” It was that muffled profanity that made me begin to weep again — seeing our silver-tongued Scratch, usually never at a loss for words, being almost unable to speak.
It breaks my heart that I can’t share his moving, extemporaneous speech with you. I was too overcome with emotion to even think of taking a crummy cellphone video. And the videographer had stopped filming. You just had to have been there.
He ended by asking everyone to light a candle, raise a glass, whatever was meaningful to you, to celebrate the life of this great Legend. And she was sent off with thunderous applause.
Every time we lose a Legend the connection to our past and our history becomes ever more tenuous. Always remember them and what they did to make what we do possible. We stand on the shoulders of giants.
April March, The First Lady of Burlesque; Dixie Evans, The Marilyn Monroe of Burlesque; Lily Ann Rose, Banned in Boston
Sorrowfully,
Dear Constant Reader,
As you read this we are on our way to Cleveland for the Ohio Burlesque Festival! We’re looking forward to headlining tonight with 2013 Howard Award* winners Peggy de Lune and Donna Denise, and boylesque sensation Bazooka Joe.
Despite the excitement, I wouldn’t forget your Friday tip!
Rehearse stocking removes with “stunt” stockings (i.e. ones that already have runs in them). Save your good stockings for performance.
Tip of the hat to Red Snapper for reminding me of this one.
*That’s the official name of the awards given out at The Great Burlesque Exposition. They’re named after the notorious Old Howard theatre, late of Scollay Square.
Dear Constant Reader,
Polls close at midnight tonight! This is your last chance to vote for The Boston Babydolls for “Best Theatre Group” and B.A.B.E. for “Best Dance Classes“!
Here’s your Friday tip, everyone!
Do what you say you’re going to do.
It’s just that simple.
Oh, The Glamourous Life! 