Dear Constant Reader,
I’m writing about my time at Stripper’s Holiday in Los Angeles. It’s been taking me longer than I expected! You can read the first part here.
We all stayed in a big house in Studio City which was kind of incredible. It had an amazing view, a pool and hot tub, a pool table, and a home theatre. We were up in the hills and the landscaping was lovely. We even saw a deer one morning! My Patrons got to see a short video tour of some of the house.
However, it was decorated in a manner that was supposed to be lavish and stylish but was more like set dressing than a place people lived. All the surfaces were hard — tile, wood, brick, marble — I don’t think there was a single rug or carpet and none of the furniture was really comfortable (even the couches were so over-stuffed and piled with cushions that one couldn’t really lounge). Nor did the layout lend itself to socialization. Really, the only place we could all sit was around the dining table, as long as we also grabbed all the chairs from around the kitchen island. This is probably why most people spent their free time in and around the hot tub.
 The View |
 My favorite spot |
 Artsy shot through the window |
 Visiting deer |
Franky, Michelle’s husband, handled all the cooking and kitchen clean up. Despite numerous offers to help, we were all told to just relax and be taken care of. Michelle has very strict food requirements because of her auto-immune disorder, so we ate like she did — lots of protein and vegetables, no sugar, dairy, grains, or legumes. The food was terrific and plentiful. I was perfectly happy to eat that way the whole time (although I did have a bar of Russian dark chocolate in my bag, from which I rationed out a couple of squares each evening). I’m definitely going to try making the kale with kalamata olives and the chicken-apple-bacon burgers, not to mention experimenting with almond meal for pancakes.
I tend to wake up early and this trip was no exception. Michelle had asked that everyone try not to go on-line first thing in the morning, so instead of noodling around on my phone, I would get up and work out before anyone else was awake. I liked the quiet, but, as I mentioned, the house was full of hard surfaces. My options were the bricks around the pool or the tiles in the theatre. Ouch, floor exercises were right out.
Our schedule was very relaxed. People could sleep in and then have a leisurely breakfast. We were in the studio in the afternoon to work for four hours. Since every minute was precious, we didn’t take any formal breaks. Thinking of everything, the kitchen at the house was well stocked with nuts, fruit, and protein bars and we would assemble snack bags before we left and munch during our down time. We returned to the house to have dinner and spend the evening, usually drinking in the hot tub.
One of the thing we talked about in the studio was vulnerability and there was a lot of it during these days. It’s hard, but here is some more vulnerability and honesty.
The social aspect of being with a dozen people was very hard for me. Despite my outgoing behavior with students and audience members, I’m really a very quiet person and rather shy when I’m not “on”. I’m okay with small groups of people, but I find it very difficult to join in the chaos of conversation with a big group. Partially I think this is because I have a little hearing loss in one ear, so sometimes it takes me a bit longer to parse what people are saying, especially when there’s a lot of background noise and when it’s dark so I can’t see people’s faces well. Add to this that I don’t often drink and I felt a bit on the outside in the evenings. I did get a lot of crocheting done because I feel more comfortable when I’m doing something creative with my hands and I can crochet on autopilot.
That’s not to say I kept completely to myself. Like I said, small groups are fine. One day after the studio I joined Lana MilknHoney, Elle Diablo, and Jacquelyn Hyde for In-And-Out Burgers and had a ridiculously fun time. We weren’t forbidden to have food that Michelle can’t eat (there was a constant nibbling on cheese in the evenings), but it felt kinda naughty to have a burger and fries. Someone might have gotten drunk on the sugar in her milkshake (spoiler: it wasn’t me).
We never had to be showgirls while we were in the house. Michelle specifically said don’t bring lashes or gowns and absolutely no glitter. I didn’t put on makeup or do my hair once and spent as much time as possible in my Catherine D’Lish caftan and bare feet. And that was a gift, to be around fellow burlesque performers with no pressure to glam it up.
Next up, the whole reason I was there, the work!
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I arrived Wednesday afternoon after a super-easy flight that even landed early and headed directly to the home of 
The best part was sitting in the bar with Lili and catching up on everything. I got to hear all about her hosting at Viva Las Vegas with Elvira and the inside scoop on the amazing balloon gown she wore. We talked about all different aspects of burlesque — performance, teaching, business. It’s a delight to be with her. She said some very lovely things to me that I treasure.
Our instructors made a heck of an entrance in matching leopard catsuits, complete with tails and ears. Also, it was the day after Jen’s birthday and the actual birthday of Miss Audacious. Not only did the restaurant send over complimentary desserts, but there were birthday spankings. In the photo you can see a double-smacking by Sweetpea (the leopard-clad ass between the birthday girls).
After saying goodbye to everyone and thanking our instructors, I grabbed my big-ass suitcase and trundled off to Jackson Square, there to meet my hostess for the evening, 
The flight home was utterly uneventful and Scratch picked me up and took me straight to a rather cranky Albert. His favorite toy went missing right after I left and apparently I am the only one who could find it. And so I did.
Despite the late night, I still managed to make it to yoga in the park, on time, even. It was a perfect way to wake up and get energized for another long day. At some point I looked down and saw a golden rhinestone just sitting on my yoga mat. It looked like one from my Stardust costume, which of course was safely home in Boston. Burlesque magic!
This time we had our delightful vegan lunch, again made possible by Gaea, upstairs at Mr. Gregory’s, a nearby cafe. The photo is of the view from the balcony.
Friday morning came early. We grabbed our yoga mats and stumbled out the door to the park near the studio. It was lovely doing yoga there in the cool morning. A beautiful start to the day.
I decided to skip Whiskey and Rhinetones, which would have required racing out almost as soon as we got back, and opted to get ready for the Instructors’ Showcase at midnight in a more leisurely fashion. Also, my brain was very full and needed a bit of rest. I was delighted to learn that 
Then we walked over to the Allways Lounge to see our instructors’ strut their stuff. Bella hosted the show and announced that because of the peculiarities of the venue, the performers can take it ALL off. 
The retreat proper began on Thursday, although not too early. Since workshops didn’t start until the afternoon, most of us out-of-towners headed to the 
Sally Stardust, Murphy Lawless, and I went to Trashy Diva for a little shopping before classes startted. Fortunately for my wallet, anything I liked wasn’t in my size. Murphy got a very glamourous and versatile dress that sorely tempted me, but alas, not in my size. I did pick up a little something for the troupe — a pair of ruffly panties for 
We all hastened home to relax and get ready for our evening out. The lovely folks from 
The performers that night were three of our instructors: Sweetpea, Gaea Lady, and Bella, of course. I swear Sweetpea (photo at right) was channeling Blaze Starr. Her look, her moves, her eroticism. I was completely captivated. Gaea was a walking advertisement for the veil workshop she would be teaching later. The way she manipulated the silk was simply breathtaking. At the time I had no idea how she did some of the moves. Bella, of course, was fantastic. She closed out the show with “Roxanne”, the act she would be doing at BHoF. It was even better than when she brought it to The Expo a couple of years ago.
The retreat started on Wednesday. I was extremely anxious because ANOTHER Nor’easter was predicted to hit the East Coast (that would have been the 4th since March started) and knowing airlines as I do, I feared my flight would be canceled. Fortunately the storm didn’t make it up to Massachusetts until long after I was gone.
In the evening all the instructors joined us (with bubbly, elderflower lemonade, and fresh fruit) so everyone could introduce themselves. We all had to share what we hoped to get out of the retreat and what we hoped to bring to it. I knew only a few of the people attending, so it was really nice to meet everyone else and learn a bit about them all.
It wasn’t too late when the evening broke up and a few of us joined 
Scratch, Devastasia, Artemisia, and I went up early so we could visit the Peabody Essex Museum for 
After the shows we were treated to creative (and strong!) cocktails by the bar staff. Mine was a Far Side of the Tracks, a mix of their spiced rum and Far from the Tree cider with egg white, cream and nutmeg, pictured at right. So delicious! Brigitte’s coffee rum-based cocktail had smoke in it! I also tried something with absinthe in it and the most bizarre cider I’ve ever tasted.
Oh, The Glamourous Life! 
