It’s been pretty cold here. I hope where ever you are, you’re keeping warm! Or cool, for my friends in the other hemisphere.
Today’s tip is about keeping warm, or really, not so warm.
Keep your hot showers short.
Like most of you, I love to relax in a hot shower, especially when it’s cold out or to ease sore muscles. However, the hot water can dry out your skin. Counterintuitive, right? If your skin is red when you get out, you haven’t done it any favors.
I’ve seen some dermatologists say you should only keep the water really hot for about five minutes, or about the time it takes to fog up the mirror. Most of your bathing should be done in warm water and then use some lotion after you gently towel off.
A reward for your virtue, here is my bathing ritual…
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
It’s Friday again! I hope you’re having a lovely day and that it continues into the weekend. Here’s your tip, courtesy of Scratch:
Record wide, not tall.
When using your camera to capture footage, turn it sideways to get yourself (and most of the stage) in a 16:9 aspect ratio. It’s easy to crop wide footage down to tall, narrow footage (9:16). Trying to go from tall to wide usually leaves you with those blank spaces on either side of your video.
You want this:
Not this:
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
It’s been a very long time since I shared a recipe with you all. I have a bunch of cooking videos at The 365 Kitchen Cabinet project and I’ve been sharing them on Patreon, but not here. Sorry about that…
Anyhow, I made Washington Pie. Despite the name, it’s not pie; it’s cake.
I liked it — it was easy to make, used almost entirely pantry ingredients, and tasted good. What’s not to like?
Enjoy!
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
A while back I was approached by BurlyBundle, a subscription burlesque craft box, to tell my students about their product. I’m always happy to support another small woman-owned business, especially one from a fellow burlesquer. However, to make sure I could whole-heartedly endorse it, I ordered a bundle. And here’s what I found…
To sum up, this bundle has everything you need for the project, down to the smallest detail. It’s perfect for beginners, but I think it would be fun for seasoned crafters too. There are suggested designs, but one could certainly follow their muse and create an original design. Some of those tiny rhinestones will make for a challenge even for experience stoners.
My verdict: Misty Tetons has created a fine craft box. Check it out yourself — the ordering cut off for the next bundle is the end of this month.
(This review is not sponsored, suggested, or requested by anyone. I have no affiliation with Burly Bundle other than as a one-time customer.)
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 17 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
I have perhaps been writing you fewer missives than I have in the past. Part of that is that I haven’t been doing as much burlesque-related stuff in the past year and a half, but also I’ve been embroiled in some new projects for my supporters on Patreon.
Long ago I made a video where I cooked chocolate pudding. I had no idea what I was doing — in terms of video making; I know how to cook chocolate pudding… I have a better idea now how to shoot and edit videos, but I’m still learning. Well, the best way to learn something is to do. About once a month I’ve been making a video for Patreon. Mostly I’ve been cooking a historic recipe that I’ve never made before and seeing how it comes out, including an on-camera tasting and reaction. However, I’ve also done some burlesque costume tutorials and craft projects. I’m also documenting the (slow) improvements and redecorating I’ve been doing in my sewing room/office.
There’s a list of all the videos on Patreon here. The list is public, but the videos are only available to Patrons.
I’m mostly filming and editing myself, although, when he’s got time, Scratch gives me some help and advice. I’m hoping to upgrade my equipment and maybe take some classes to improve my skills.
If you’d like to see what I’ve been up to, please join me on Patreon. Otherwise you can see my progress when I occasionally upload videos to my YouTube channel.
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 12 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
I am delighted to share an excerpt from the kinky erotic novella Passing His Test that I recorded for Booklover’s Burlesque.
It was written by Teresa Noelle Roberts and I’m thrilled she gave me permission to share her work.
If you liked this bit of the story, buy the book and read the rest!
And there are many, many more stories for you at Booklover’s Burlesque — they release two a night!
* Well, maybe not everyone. It involves consensual BDSM, sex, and explicit language. Maybe avoid listening if you’re at work or around kids. And if you’re my mom.
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
I know so many of you are at home for the foreseeable future — me too. I hope to lighten the time with a little entertainment.
I recorded a video of me reading The Masque of the Red Death (in a vintage red satin peignoir) for my Patrons. Some of you might find that amusing; others wildly inappropriate. If you’re in the former category, here’s a little teaser…
You can also enjoy my reading of The Tell-Tale Heart from Halloween.
I’m looking for some more light-hearted (public domain) material for my next reading. Let me know if there’s anything you’d like to hear (or any other ways I can entertain and amuse you).
Stay well,
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
The BeauTease have a new crop of apprentices and we’re training them. Part of the way we do that is through exercises. However, all of us participate, not just the new kids.
It’s good for all of us. The troupe members can lead and guide and the apprentices don’t have to feel like they’re being flung to the wolves while everyone else watches. We all get to practice our skills and it’s valuable for the established performers to get back to basics.
We started with character exercises. The simplest version of this is that everyone draws a card on which is written an emotion. One by one, to the same bit of music, we walk across the floor and express that emotion. Then everyone watching tries to guess what the emotion was. We learn to be big and clear, to express emotion with the entire body. For some, it’s practice walking in time to music. This exercise can get more complex and involved, but we left it at the simple version.
The next one is Standing, Sitting, Kneeling, based on an improv game. We have one chair and 3 performers. Someone needs to be on their feet, someone needs to be using the chair, and someone needs to be on the floor. The goal is to work together and trade off positions while creating an improvised group routine. This exercise has sparked a couple of our group acts…
Factory Girls
Feelin’ Good
But no time for such things now. Our rehearsals are focused on our Secret (Santa) Show on Saturday, December 21. It’s a festive evening of seasonal burlesque at an undisclosed location only revealed to ticket holders! The apprentices will be making their striptease debut!
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
The contents were so special I thought I’d try an unboxing video.
How did I end up with this magnificent piece? Christine McConnell has a YouTube series, From the Mind of Christine McConnell. Each month she makes something fabulous and selects one of her supporters on Patreon to receive it. This month she asked a trivia question during a livestream and the first person to answer correctly would get the cage. And that person was me!
This was on October first. I had been having such a terrible September. Certain events made me full of doubt about myself and I had lost my desire to do anything creative. Winning the cage was a jolt of positivity and I’ve been much better this month. It could not have come at a more perfect time. Thank you so much, Christine!
The trivia question, by the way, was “In the movie Addams Family Values, what is the name of the baby?” (which is the name of the bat). I still can’t believe that out of the hundreds of people responding, I answered first.
I love everything about it! The Victorian birdcage is the perfect aesthetic for The Manor. There’s so many fabulous details, like the handmade spiders and the fairy lights. And of course the Bat himself and his glowing eyes. The purple accents are just marvelous — there’s even a chunk of amethyst (my birthstone!). I could just go on about how incredible this is! I don’t know where exactly in The Manor Pubert is going to live, but he’ll be the star of that room for sure.
To see more about the creation of the Bat-Cage, here’s the video:
Thanks to…
…Christine McConnell for making this whole experience possible.
…Georgia Dunn for permission to include a panel from her wonderful comic strip, Breaking Cat News in my video. See the rest of that particular strip here.
…Scratch for filming, video editing assistance, and helping to clean up packing peanuts. In case you were wondering, a “metric fuckton” of packing peanuts is five garbage bags full.
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
I know this is the missive you’ve been waiting for — all about the House of Knyle graduation show at Burlesque Bingo!
I was extremely grateful for this opportunity, not only to share a stage with all the women I’d gotten to know through Egypt’s program, but I can’t imagine otherwise performing in one of Audrey DeLuxe’s shows.
The venue was Harvell’s in Long Beach. Lili VonSchtupp had given me some advance info like that the dressing room was good but narrow and that the stage was carpeted and a couple steps up, which allayed a little of my nervousness. The space has a great speakeasy vibe and I can see why there’s a lot of burlesque there.
I was the first to arrive. Scratch volunteered to do whatever was needed and that turned out to be running the follow spot. All the other ladies were staying with and therefore traveling with Egypt. I kind of regretted missing out of the bonding time (and more, as it turned out), but I’m not sorry I chose to spend time with Kitten Natividad. Our Legends are so important. When everyone else arrived they briefed me on the plan for the curtain call and after, whihc they had worked on the night before at Egypt’s. That did have me a little nervous because improvisation dance is not my strength.
Burlesque Bingo works thusly: On the floor perpendicular to the stage is a bingo board, like a very low runway. At the back of the stage is a number board (see photo). When the performer discards a costume piece, she tosses it onto the board on the floor. One of the Lucky Charms (Audrey’s adorable assistants; also see photo) turns on the light for the corresponding number on the big board and everyone marks their bingo cards accordingly. After the act is over, if no one has bingo, the Lucky Charms begin to disrobe and toss out their garments until bingo is achieved. The bingo winner then comes onto stage to claim their goodie bag of prizes. If more than one person has bingo, everyone gets a chance to roll a giant pink fuzzy die to see who claims the prize. It’s a lot of fun. It was also clear some audience members are all abut the bingo, while others are just there for the burlesque.
I wish I could do a blow by blow of the other acts, but I was more than nervous and rather in my own head most of the night, so I don’t recall a lot of the show. The line up, however, was:
Bebe Bardot
Lilac SaintClair
Dulce D’Jour
CoCo Rose
Crocodile Lightning
Nadia Lotte
Briq House
Mayo Lua de Frenchie
Mina Murray
Twirlisha Devine
Egypt Blaque Knyle
After we each did our acts, Egypt joined us on stage and presented each student with a certificate of completion.
After Egypt’s performance, we each came out in reverse order, still in our pasties, and improvised on stage for a few measures. Eventually we moved into our assigned places, arrayed around the runway, while Egypt performed again. By the end we were all over her. We wouldn’t let her leave the stage until we had presented her with our gift, a large engraved diamond.
I was very touched when Bebe Bardot, who had to race off to the airport immediately after the show, took a few moments to say some kind things about my books. I feel a kinship with this lovely lady — she’s also a scholar of burlesque history, a writer, and a classic sort of gal — so it meant a lot.
All right, I won’t make you wait any longer. Here’s my act:
What did I think? It’s still a little rough. I’m not happy with my facial expressions and I can see all the tension in my shoulders. Those shoes were giving me such trouble, especially with the turns and lunges, and you can see where I so gracefully stumble off the edge of the bingo stage near the end. However, I’m really happy with parts of it and I can see there’s some power there. I’ve since performed it three other times and it just keeps getting better as I’m more comfortable with it and I’m not stressing about trying to impress a mentor (and I got new shoes)
This act, probably more than any other one, had a lot of feedback from a lot of people. Egypt suggested the lunges after the turns (as well as other things). It was Ava’s idea that I start with the back panel draped in front. Originally I dropped to my knees for the floorwork, but Betty said “Can you drop into a plank? You do planks all the time.” Scratch came up with the belt remove. He also edited my music so there was a strong ending instead of a fade-out.
I’m so grateful to Egypt for giving me the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone, to perform in this great show, and to work with these amazing women.
Performance photo by Jason Kamimura Photography
Video by Cliesha
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 12 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to 
When the performer discards a costume piece, she tosses it onto the board on the floor. One of the Lucky Charms (Audrey’s adorable assistants; also see photo) turns on the light for the corresponding number on the big board and everyone marks their bingo cards accordingly. After the act is over, if no one has bingo, the Lucky Charms begin to disrobe and toss out their garments until bingo is achieved. The bingo winner then comes onto stage to claim their goodie bag of prizes. If more than one person has bingo, everyone gets a chance to roll a giant pink fuzzy die to see who claims the prize. It’s a lot of fun. It was also clear some audience members are all abut the bingo, while others are just there for the burlesque.
Oh, The Glamourous Life! 