Dear Constant Reader,
In 2007 one of our troupe members needed to take the summer off. Only a few of us knew what she was going to be doing and we had to keep quiet about it. In the fall we could finally reveal that she was a contestant on America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 9. She has shared a little of the behind the scenes with us over the years, but now she’s letting everyone know what happened on ANTM in her new book
You Wanna Be on Top? A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation, and Not Becoming America’s Next Top Model by Sarah Hartshorne, 2025.
Sarah was a student at Boston University when America’s Next Top Model held a local casting call. She didn’t expect much, given the thousands of women who tried out, but was one of the finalists who ended up in the Model House as the sole plus-sized model (called “real sized” on the show).
The story that unfolds in a blow-by-blow accounting is simply bonkers. The production staff were uncaring at best and cruel at worst. The young women — and they were young; I think the oldest was 22 — were just product to be used to create the show. Each contestant had a simple storyline that the show created and focused on. Sarah’s plot hook was that she hated her body and was uncomfortable with the thin beauty of all the other contestants. For the most part, she resisted and even sabotaged the attempt to push her along that path, but you can’t hear everybody repeating that narrative at you without it doing some damage.
When I first watched the show, I thought some of the things they made the contestants do were kinda mean and cringy. Tyra and most of the judges deliberately cut the girls down. And it was pretty obvious when the interviews and confessionals were edited and taken out of context. But, hey, it was the early days of reality TV and we didn’t have much to compare it to. I stopped watching the show when Sarah was eliminated (which I still think was unfair) and they made her cry (which I still have not forgiven!). But that wasn’t the end of Sarah’s time with the show. I’m going to let you read the book and find out for yourself what happened to those that had to leave the house.
It’s not her story alone that she shares. She interviewed several of her fellow aspiring models and compares their experiences with her own. In these conversations she reflects on what she went through and how she didn’t necessarily see how much they were being manipulated. Like I said, they were very young and there had been nothing like this show before. It’s all rather enraging.
As I said above, she told us some of the reality behind the reality show, but there was so much I didn’t know. And even one of the stories she told (and I retold) was fabricated by the producers! And she doesn’t actually identify people by name, but you might just recognize a couple of folks she mentions, especially if you were an early Babydolls fan.
Sarah is a very engaging writer with a mix of humor and honesty that makes this book a delight to read. At one point, she and another contestant, to get some semblance of privacy, are sitting in a walk-in closet. (They were still being filmed, but the cameraman couldn’t get too close). Sarah confesses that she’s attracted to women as well as men and realizes that she’s bisexual: “Had I just come out of the closet on national fucking television? Had I just come out of the closet… while sitting in a literal closet?”
I was thrilled to see that the Boston Public Library selected it as one of the We Are Pride 2026 picks, so what better time to give it a read than June! You’ll discover why Sarah remains one of the ANTM fan favorites and, if you’ve watched the recent Netflix documentary/expose, understand why she’s says she “should have been meaner in my book”. If you’re in NYC, look for her doing stand-up!
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 18 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.
After too long a pause, I have returned to the volume 2 of my costume book, tentatively titled “The Next Level”, in which I explore the creation of shimmy belts and panels skirts and some related garments. I’ve handed out the panels skirt section to some folks for feedback, which I hope will give me some motivation to continue.
Oh, The Glamourous Life! 