Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

Sunday we had a date in the Fashion District. We met up with Sheila Starr Siani and her offspring, Mowgli and Mogwai, Jessabelle Thunder, and Lili VonSchtupp & Funny Eddie to explore the myriad of shops. It was utterly overwhelming and I’m glad we had some native guides.

I thought NYC had fabulous costume shopping, but LA beats it all to hell. I can’t even begin to count the number of fabric shops we visited — mostly little storefront things crammed with bolts & bolts of fabric. And there were also the trimmings stores, the rhinestone places (loose & in jewelry), and I think there was even ready-to-wear, but we didn’t get to any of those. There is no excuse to be a poorly costumed burlesque dancer in Los Angeles.

I was fairly restrained in my personal shopping, but we have a passel of backup dancers to clothe for the New Year’s Eve Spectacular. Scratch picked up so much stuff that we were concerned about getting it home. Most of it is now in the capable hands of Marion at Vixens Ahoy. Betty had requested some show-stopping fabric for a new dress and boy, did she get it. It’s not in the above photo, so you’ll just have to wait and see it in person on (and off) Betty.

That night we had another show to perform in, a stand-up comedy showcase which occasionally had burlesque. We were invited by someone who had been slated to perform at The Teaseday Club and was repaying the favor.

Let me digress for a moment and talk about payment. There’s been a *lot* of talk lately in the burlesque community about not performing for free. (Yes, there are exceptions, but for the most part, don’t give it away). Scratch pointed out that there are 2 ways to pay your performers: with cash or with love & respect. Friday night at Peepshow Menagerie we got both: a guaranteed minimum (and they did well at the door so we got more than the promised), comps, drink tickets, good communication, and overall a pleasant experience.

This gig had none of that. I knew it was a freebie and we were mostly doing it for fun. Except it wasn’t fun. There was a distinct lack of communication and stage management. In fact, there wasn’t a set list posted or any performer amenities, not even freakin’ bottles of water in the green room. However, most of the other performers were perfectly nice and as confused as we were about what was going on. Some of them were also funny on stage.

I went on early (after having my slot moved around more than once. And one of those times I learned I had been moved in the line-up was when I was waiting to go on and the host announced someone else). Scratch went on late, but we couldn’t even leave after his act because he had to leave his table full of magic equipment on stage. There was nowhere to move it to and he can’t break it down in view of the audience. So we stuck it out to the bitter end.

I did a fan dance, mostly because it’s a no-brainer for me. And I realized it was good that I didn’t need any pick up. I guess Scratch could have done it for me because the venue certainly didn’t have anyone. Before I started I had already noticed that the stage was carpeted. I could deal. Once I got on stage I realized the ceiling was only about 7 feet high. Okay, I’ll need to be careful with the overhead moves. And then I saw that the walls were mirrored. Yeah, that kind of kills the tease. Oh well. I did the best I could with what I had. The audience didn’t seem too into it until I finally revealed all at the end. However, I got a lot of compliments later and one of the comics mentioned me in his set (in a good way).

The show was interminable (I think it ran about 2 & a half hours without an intermission). Just as the last comic was finishing up her set, she wandered over to the table Scratch had left at the far side of the stage, picked up one of the pieces from his trick and flashed the gimmick at the audience. WHO DOES THAT?

Afterwards she complimented me on my act and I just said “thank you” because if I said anything else I was going to find myself with my hands around her throat, screaming “Kindergarten rules! If it’s not yours, don’t touch it!”

The only good part of the evening was that Joe K., our stage manager from the first run of Madame Burlesque, had just moved to L.A. Like, he arrived the day before, after having driven cross-country most of the month. Scratch got him comped into the show (we weren’t offered comps; Scratch just steamrollered the door girl) and afterwards we went to Mel’s Drive-In for sliders & fries & pie and to catch up.

Next up, our last day…