Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday!  It’s hard to believe that 2021 is almost over. I feel like this year has gone by so fast. But we’ve still got a few more weeks and a few more tips!

If you’re performing a sing-and-strip, design your act around the type of microphone you’ll be using.

Each type has its advantages and disadvantages. If you are using a hand-held, remember that one hand is always going to be encumbered, but you’re free to move around the stage however you like. If it’s a stand microphone, your hands are completely free, but you’re kind of stuck in place while you’re singing. If you’ve got a lavaliere microphone, you can move and your hands are free, but you’ll need a place to clip the transmitter that will stay on for the entire strip and to arrange the cord so it doesn’t get caught in your costume pieces as you strip.

With a little planning (and a lot of practice), you can dazzle the audience with your striptease and your voice and make it look easy!
These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 13 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

I hope you had a good Thanksgiving or a pleasant Thursday, depending on your location and inclination.

Here’s your tip!

Make sure your tassels are entirely concealed inside your bra cups as you get dressed.

Just scoop them up into the cups as you’re putting your bra on. Not only do tassels hanging out below your bra look a little odd, you’re giving away part of your big reveal early!

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 13 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Today’s tip was inspired by a conversation with a friend just this morning.

Refrain from licking your lips while you’re wearing glitter on them.

I know, it seems so obvious! And yet it can be so hard when it’s an unconscious gesture like that. Also, remember to use a straw when drinking! And always use cosmetic glitter.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 13 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s Friday! Today is also the penultimate performance of Vamps After Midnite! We’ve been having so much fun with this show and last night we had a special guest in the audience — Devora Darling! It was so good to see her in person.

Here’s your tip!

Know exactly where your props are at the top of the show.

Is this tip inspired by an actual incident? Maybe…

Before the show starts, check over your props and know where they are. If someone else is bringing them on for you, make sure you both know how and where that transfer will happen (do you hand them over before you go on stage? are they on a prop table back stage? &c.). It’s your responsibility as a performer to make sure your props are in good working order and in the correct location.

I’ve already written about kindergarten rules (aka respecting the property of others) which continue to apply. Take care of your own stuff and don’t mess with anyone else’s.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 12 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

I write to you from a haze of exhaustion. Hell Week for Vamps After Midnight started on Monday and we’ve been going non-stop. First performance is tonight! (Wait, Mina, I thought it opened yesterday? Be patient, Dear Reader…)

Here’s your tip:

When hit with a sudden curve ball, think fast and be ready to run with a new plan.

Wednesday night we had our dress/tech rehearsal and someone from the venue was there for an inspection. After we wrapped, we were told we couldn’t use our set. Due to a complete lack of communication from the venue, we did not know that some materials used to build the flats were unacceptable to them. Three days of work (and Devastasia’s beautiful painting)! had to be torn down right then.

We canceled the Thursday night preview. Overnight Scratch redesigned the set and bought new, acceptable materials the next day. Unfortunately, Plan B didn’t work (it required a level floor, which the theatre does not have), so we headed directly to Plan C (with much cursing along the way).

The cast, many of whom are not theatre people, have been great, pitching in where ever they can and staying out of the way when they can’t. I am deeply grateful to all of them.

Anyway, the set is not as beautiful or clever or funny as we planned, but at least we can have a performance tonight.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 12 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

This Friday is the calm before the storm that is Vamps After Midnite. On Monday Hell Week begins! Do you have your tickets?

This tip is for audience members, but obviously not you, my Dear Reader. You already know this.

Turn your phone off and enjoy the show.

I know we spent a lot of time without performances where audience and performer were in the same space.Just a little reminder that phones can be very distracting not just to you, but everyone around you. They make noise and light, neither of which is great during a show. Using your phone during a performance is disrespectful to the performers and to the audience.

I’ve seen people texting, posting, and even making phone calls during the show. Please step outside if communication is so urgent that it can’t wait until intermission or the end of the show. Because everyone has a camera in their pocket now, we’ve had audience members taking flash photos, taking selfies, and filming the performances. If you’re really compelled to take photos, please, please, please turn off your flash. It’s not just rude to inflict a sudden burst of light at everyone around you, it could be dangerous if the performers can’t see because of it.

Be present, without distraction, and enjoy the performance in real time.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 12 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s Friday! I made a silly video yesterday, which has nothing to do with burlesque, but maybe it will make you smile. Here’s your tip!

One is funny. Three is funny. After that you have to go for 20.

Doing a comedy bit is funny on its own, but repetition can make it even funnier. However, three times is much funnier than two. But four times is not funnier than three. If you want to do it more than three times, you just have to keep doing it as many times as you can, which just gets funnier each time. My Commedia dell’Arte troupe called it “going for 20”.

The BeauTease are known for our dark Halloween cabaret, The Wrathskellar, but the last thing we wanted to do this year was a dark, intense, serious show. Hence, Vamps After Midnite, a burlesque show that goes worng. It’s a ridiculous comedy and we laugh a lot at rehearsals.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 12 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s the first Friday of Fall! I hope you had a lovely equinox. Here’s your tip, courtesy of Scratch!

Help out your emcee — tell them the pronunciation of your name and your pronouns.

The host wants to give you a great introduction; give them the tools to get it right.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 12 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.