Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

Just a few more books remain on the shelf and several of them are memoirs or biographies.

The Lady is a Vamp by Tempest Storm (The Last Superstar of Burlesque) with Bill Boyd (1987).

Tempest Storm is one of the true living legends of burlesque. She still performs, still has a fantastic figure and a mane of flaming red hair, and still dazzles. I’ve had the honor of appearing in her “Las Vegas Burlesque Revue” and can say first hand that she’s a gracious lady.

But all was not glamour when she was a little girl. Born Annie Blanche Banks to a sharecropping family in Georgia, she knew only hard work. As a teenager she learned quickly that her large bust only lead to heartbreak and abuse. At 14 she was supporting herself as a waitress and dreaming of fame in Hollywood, despite her crooked teeth. When she finally did get to California and became a burlesque dancer, fame and fortune did quickly follow.

When she first began working in burlesque, Lillian Hunt, her boss, gave her some advice that is still worth following: “…watch what you eat.” “…drinking and dancing don’t mix” “…leave the cigarettes alone…” “Your body is your instrument. Take care of it.”

Storm quickly moved from chorus girl to stripper. After being falsely accused by Lili St. Cyr of sabotaging the star’s act (someone else discarded straight pins on the stage and Miss St. Cyr stepped on them in her bare feet), the newly (and appropriately) named Tempest Storm fought back and was quickly shipped off to another theatre, but as the headliner. And she’s been a headliner ever since.

There’s not a great deal on career other than how successful she was and what fabulous gowns she wears. She does talk very briefly about developing her signature act, but that’s about it.

Much of the book is about her relationships. She was involved with a lot of men who were abusive, jealous, and possessive, including some of her husbands. She’s not shy about detailing their cruelties. On the other hand, she spends a lot of time recalling the various celebrities she bedded, from Elvis and JFK to Nat King Cole and Mickey Rooney. She treats these lovers with affection and occasional wistfulness.

Bettie Page fans will be disappointed that Miss Storm doesn’t even mention her appearance in Irving Klaw’s film Teaserama, let alone dish about it.

I hope that someday our paths will cross again, because her book won’t be complete until my copy is autographed. : )

Dear Constant Reader,

The Corpse Wore Pasties by Jonny Porkpie (2009).

Jonny Porkpie is in big trouble. A much hated burlesque dancer has just died on stage — no, not flopped, really died, murdered — and the self-proclaimed Burlesque Mayor of New York is the likeliest suspect, since he was the one who handed her the bottle of poison she drank on stage. Attempting to find the real murderer and clear his name, against the advice of his long-suffering wife, Nasty Canasta, Jonny finds himself in a number of peculiar predicaments: chased by a heavy metal band across the Brooklyn Bridge, drugged in a dominatrix’s dungeon, hiding the the Hindenberg… Will he uncover the killer before it’s too late?

Despite being published by Hard Case Crime and having a noir title and pulp-worthy cover painting, The Corpse Wore Pasties is a pretty light and fluffy murder mystery. If you’re a burlesque fan, you’ll enjoy the peek backstage. If you’re into NYC burlesque, you’ll have fun deciphering the thinly disguised performers and venues. If you’re a lover of hardboiled detective stories, you’ll be disappointed.

It’s hard for me tell if this book will fly outside the burlesque community. I recognize the cast of characters and (sadly) know all about the incident that sparked the writing. I found the whole thing rather cute, but I don’t know how it wil be received by someone without any knowledge of the burlesque scene.

Jonny Porkpie the author is not much different from Jonny Porkpie the character. You can decided for yourself if that’s a good thing. The book is amusing, firmly tongue in cheek (there’s an obvious joke there that I’m going ignore), and clearly a first novel. Airplane or beach reading.

And with this, I have 6 books left on the to-be-reviewed shelf (5 if I bat my lashes really hard and Scratch writes a guest review of Baggy Pants Comedy: Burlesque and the Oral Tradition).

Dear Constant Reader,

Horrible Prettiness: Burlesque and American Culture by Robert C. Allen (1991).

There was burlesque before striptease! In 1868 Lydia Thompson and her British Blondes brought burlesque to America. Professor Allen examines its effect on theatre and on society. Early burlesque was a form of musical satire. Popular tunes and themes were rewritten to spoof current social norms. Women were the stars and frequently played men, in abbreviated classical costumes, showing off their legs. “Thompsonian” burlesque was considered a threat to the cultural norms, giving women power and sexuality on stage.

By the 1890’s burlesque had changed so much that Lydia Thompson said she did not recognize the art form she had brought to America and it was going to change even further. For one thing, women lost their voices on stage and became merely objects of desire, showing their legs and even more and more. By the 1920’s striptease had become an indelible part of burlesque.

If you are interested in early burlesque, this is the book. It’s an academic work, thoroughly annotated, with a large bibliography.

Dear Constant Reader,

I know Wednesdays are my book review day, but I know you’ll forgive me this lapse. Things have been a little higgledy-piggledy lately, what with the tour and me being sick *again*. I swear I’ve had this rotten cough 4 times this year. It usually knocks me flat for about 2 weeks. But the show must go on… Enough complaining, here’s your review.

The American Burlesque Show by Irving Zeidman (1967).

Mr. Zeidman is a self-proclaimed expert on burlesque. According to his bio he has “read almost everything written on this historically obscure phase of show business” and that “no burlesque theatre has opened on closed in the New York metropolitan area since 1930 without being subject to his personal scrutiny.” The result is a history of burlesque in America, from The Black Crook to the fading out of burlesque in his present day.

Each chapter takes on a single topic, such as the wheels, impressarios (including the Minskys, of course), strippers, comedy, candy butchers, and censorship. They’re roughly in a chronological order, showing the different facets of burlesque, but little linkage between chapters, creating almost individual essays rather than a narrative history. Not surprisingly, a lot of the focus is burlesque in New York. The author assumes his reader is familiar with burlesque already, so this isn’t the best introduction to the topic. He’s frequently snide about his subject, but occasionally affectionate, making the reader wonder where his sympathies lie. His closing remarks about sum it up: “American burlesque has given a livelihood to thousands upon thousand of performer, musicians, stagehands, ushers, producers, candy butchers and censors. It has provided countless hours of unmitigated boredom, and many other hours of genuine pleasure. It has served as a proving ground for talent. It may have given some surcease to the lonely, the derelict, the sexually driven. Beyond that, one cannot and should not hope for more, or expect less.”

There are some photographs throughout and a very limited bibliography.

Dear Constant Reader,

Before we get to the book review, I wanted to remind you that we have a Kickstarter campaign to help fund our tour this summer. There are some really fun gifts! I’m waiting for someone to go for the big one… dinner at Stately Babydoll Manor, prepared by Scratch and served by the Boston Babydolls.

Burlesque and the New Bump-n-Grind by Michelle Baldwin (2004).

I believe this was the first book written about the neo-burlesque movement and is certainly still the one most people reach for when they first discover burlesque. Michelle Baldwin (aka Vivienne VaVoom) looks at the origins of the new burlesque while paying tribute to its roots. She starts with a brief history of burlesque and some of the major historical influence on modern burlesque.

The rest of the book is devoted to neo-burlesque. She looks at its history, evolution, and influences. It’s peppered with profiles of industry leaders. Baldwin also explores costumes, styles, philosophy of performing, the audiences. There are photographs throughout, many taken in performance. The list of on-line resources might seem a little dated, as there is so much more out there now. Please note that this is not a book about performing burlesque, for that you need The Burlesque Handbook.

A lot has happened in burlesque since this book was published, but it remains the top book on the subject.

Dear Constant Reader,

For a change, here’s some burlesque fiction.

The Golden G-String by Dusty Summers (2002).

Mercedes, Dallas, and Jesse are all dancers at the Primadonna in Texas. All three of them will be competing in The Golden G-String contest in Las Vegas, hoping for a role in a major motion picture, or at least more fame and fortune. But most of the book is about the choices these women make, in their careers and in their personal lives.

Jesse is only a peripheral character, escaping an abusive relationship early in the story and only making brief appearances until they all arrive in Las Vegas. We primarily follow Mercedes, the heroine, and Dallas, who makes bad decisions. The contest itself, the climax of the story, only takes up a few chapters and the ending feels a little abrupt.

Dusty Summers worked in the industry for years and her insider knowledge shows. The book may be fiction, but the descriptions of clubs, acts, and costumes are clearly grounded in reality. I was particularly taken with a section where Mercedes is booked into a “mixing club”. Her job there is less about dancing and more about drinking with the customers. Veteran dancers Wendy and Suzette teach her how to look like she’s drinking bottle after bottle of champagne without actually swallowing a drop.

Dusty has a nice way with character creation. All of the characters, even the minor ones, have distinct personalities. And she treats her settings similarly well. You’ll have a clear picture of what burlesque was like in a certain era when you read this story.

Dear Constant Reader,

Today’s book has nothing to do with burlesque, but it was written by someone with whom I’ve shared the stage many a time.

Burning the Gaspee: Revolution in Rhode Island by Rory Raven (2012).

Rory Raven is a mentalist. He will read your thoughts, bend your silverware, and generally blow your mind. He’s also a historian, specializing in the state of Rhode Island. His latest book is on an incident during the pre-Revolutionary tensions between Great Britain and the American colonists. You may know of the Boston Tea Party and the “shot heard round the world”, but outside of Rhode Island, the burning of the Gaspee is probably not familiar.

In 1772, under cover of darkness, a group of Rhode Island colonists rowed up to the British schooner Gaspee, angry with the captain’s harassment of colonial ships, which, admittedly, were smuggling goods. The Gaspee had run aground, unsuccessfully chasing a ship suspected of smuggling, and was helpless until the tide came in. The captain was shot, the crew bound and removed from the ship, and the ship itself burned to the waterline.

The book reveals the events leading up to the incident and the aftermath and the colorful characters involved on both sides of the conflict. It’s a short book, completely focused on this one act of colonial rebellion that opened the door to out & out revolution. Personally, I’m quite interested in maritime history, so I enjoyed reading about the smuggling and vice-admiralty courts. There was even an appearance by the Rose — I spent some time on the replica Rose, so I’m quite fond of her in either iteration. (here’s proof — I’m the one in the white hat — but I digress).

If you are interested in local history or the American Revolution, do check it out.

Full disclosure: I received a copy of the book for contributing to the Kickstarter campaign to defray the cost of licensing images.

Dear Constant Reader,

Queen of Burlesque: The Autobiography of Yvette Paris by Yvette Paris (1990).

Yvette Paris was a Times Square stripper in the bad old days between the death of classic burlesque and the birth of neo-burlesque.

She started as a fill-in stripper, just because she wanted to see if she could. After a little while, performing as The Minx, she decided her gimmick would be old fashioned burlesque: evening gown, gloves, rhinestone and boas to a bump & grind soundtrack. She was a hit. She decided she’d proven she could do it, so she quit after only a few weeks.

Financial necessity brought her back to the stage, as a go-go dancer. It was hard work, often under hostile conditions. Frequently she feared for her safety. It wasn’t all misery– there are some amusing stories, but they are fewer than the scary ones. When she finally quit dancing, she tried modeling, but she wasn’t making enough to keep her husband from working two jobs. She went back to stripping.

This time she was a gold-star stripper with her old-style burlesque act. The owner of the Harmony Burlesque theatre loved it so much he gave her the title “Queen of Burlesque”. Unfortunately, she couldn’t dance burlesque all the time — girls cycled through the clubs to keep the audiences coming back for new material. In the mean time, she worked as a “booth baby” in a peep show. She later found success as a model and a Marilyn Monroe impersonator.

This was to be part of Prometheus Books series of “sexual autobiographies” about people “whose lives are stigmatized by society”. In this vein, she discusses her thoughts on homosexuality, prostitution, porn, drugs, and other controversial topics.