Oh, The Glamourous Life!

Dear Constant Reader,

This past Saturday was our debut performance at House of Hatchets, an axe-throwing emporium on Cape Cod. Ticket sales were a bit slow, so I was very nervous. I mentioned to a friend that I hoped the show would go well and she asked if I thought I’d have fun. I realized I *always* have fun with Betty and Ava and Devastasia and Scratch. Even if the show sucked (spoiler: it was awesome), we’d have a great time together.

Our dressing room was one of the axe-throwing lanes with a curtain over the front. We could hear people throwing axes in the other lanes. Pretty cool! We were supposed to be on the archery range, but we didn’t actually need that much room.

Since this was our first show, we just went with a classic theme, plus a couple of pointed acts (see what I did there…). It was clearly the right mix, because the audience was so enthusiastic, especially one particular table (more on that later). Oh, and tickets sales ended up being just fine, despite my early worries.

We could not have done the show nearly as smoothly without the help of long-time stagehand Marek (who drove down from the snowy north) and first-time (but you’d never know it) stagehand Aurora.

Aurora took some video of us warming up, which you can see here.

And the show went something like this:

Devastasia: Real Gone (Sam Taylor)
This is classic bump & grind. A great way to start the show!

Scratch & Aurora: Magic
This is a fun trick with a lot of audience participation as Scratch tried to choose a tie to complete his outfit.

Ava Fox: He’s a Tramp (Peggy Lee)
A languid striptease with gorgeous dressing gown highlighting Ava’s costuming skills and love of pink.

Betty Blaize: You’re the Boss (Brian Setzer)
Betty’s classic dance with the Devil. Mr. Devilhead has gotten an upgrade with both his head and his robe and Betty has incorporated a few magic tricks to make it really special.

INTERMISSION

Mina Murray: My Room (Earl Okin)
This was my first major fan dance and still one of my favorites. I used to perform it with a maid to unzip my gown, but during the pandemic I added a quick release, so I could do it myself.

Devastasia: Why Don’t You Do Right? (singing)
This song gives Devastasia a chance to seduce with her voice as well as showing off her impressive vocal range.

Scratch: Urban Legend (magic)
This is a “don’t try this at home” tricks that involves double-edged razor blades.

Ava Fox & Betty Blaize: Purple Wail (Red Prysock)
This is a brand new duet. We had a bunch of trios and some four person numbers, but few duets. The stage was pretty small, so if we wanted to perform a group number, we needed a new one. Devastasia had a duet she had used for teaching and the four of us took that simple routine and ran with it. We had a lot of fun in the creation process!

INTERMISSION

Ava Fox: Good Morning Little Schoolgirl (Johnny Lang)
Cute and oh-so-dirty, Ava thinks back to her schoolgirl days. If you look really carefully, she has an Umbrella Academy crest on her blazer.

Devastasia: Egyptian Fantasy
One of Devastasia’s newest numbers, with a lovely costume (that she made) in a gorgeous shade of aqua. And if you’re a fan of Devastasia’s you know how rare it is that she wears a color like this.

Betty Blaize: Nightmare/Misirlou Twist (Artie Shaw/Dick Dale)
Betty starts with a black (faux) fur-trimmed robe (her creation, of course) and dramatic movements. Then she switches to a blurringly fast feast of shimmies.

Mina Murray: Baby Did A Bad, Bad Thing (Chris Issak)
When we were booked for a show in an axe-throwing emporium, we knew Lizzie Borden had to appear! It’s a messy act, but one I love a lot and the audience seemed to as well!

After the show, we were on the stage taking pictures, and a bunch of the most enthusiastic audience members joined us. One asked me if we used to be The Boston Babydolls. She had seen us at the first Burlesque Marathon — 14 years ago! She remembered that it had been Scratch’s birthday and everyone had cake. She also had a personal epiphany during the show, but that’s not my story to tell.

Even though I didn’t take any pictures (although my Patrons got a little BTS video). Ava took this one before I rehearsed Lizzie Borden.

The fuzzy slippers were a gift from Devastasia. We love keeping our feet warm (and clean) backstage!

Big thanks to Cliff and all the staff at House of Hatchets for having us and being so good to us! We’ll be back on June first with Isle of Tease!

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

Our most recent show happened because of a piece of spam email. Scratch shared some spam promising to initiate him into the secrets of the Illuminati and more than one of his friends made a joke about Illuminaughty. Thus our show about secret societies, conspiracy theories, shadowy government agencies, and cryptids was born.

It was a hot day and quite sweaty backstage at Deacon Giles. We planned two shows, but, in that unpredictable way audiences have, the early show almost sold out and only half a dozen people bought tickets for the late show. So we rolled them into one. It’s for the best. I know I was feeling the heat badly by the end of the show and I’m not sure I could have done a second one and still given a good performance.

Our stage crew were apprentices Coco and Phoebe with F. Andrew Taylor on follow spot. Lots of credit to Phoebe who kittened and performed and really took the lead on set up and strike. Big thanks as always to everyone at Deacon Giles, especially Jesse & Ian for giving us a place to perform and Peter behind the bar for always making delightful and creative concoctions.

The following photos are images taken from the video of the show shot on my phone, so if they look a little odd, that’s why. Maybe someday we’ll have the luxury of a photographer and/or videographer again.

And here’s how it went:

Betty Blaize, Phoebe Star, Vivienne Kitt: Men in Black (“Poker Face” by Postmodern Jukebox ft Kelley Jakle)
Betty, Phoebe, and Vivienne were stoic in black jackets, skinny ties, sunglasses, (and no pants) until one of them flashed the other with her memory-erasing device. Shenanigans and stripping ensued. Of course Betty tried to get everything back on track, only to be drawn into the chaos.

Devastasia: “Secret Agent Man”
These days, if Devastasia is in a show, you can expect to hear her sing. And what a treat that is. She considered wearing a trenchcoat and fedora for this song, but it was too flipping hot. I think this red dress is pretty smashing. The song is obviously the theme from the eponymous television show.

Ava Fox: “The Spy” by The Doors
Continuing on our theme of those who know too much about you, Ava was the spy in the house of love. It’s an impressive chair dance. I originally selected a picture of Ava in her top layer, a slinky evening gown, but how amazing is this move? From the headdstand , she magically ends up sitting in the chair.

Mina Murray: There’s Something in the Water (“Tea for Two” by Doris Day/”Mad World” by Postmodern Jukebox ft. Puddles Pity Party & Haley Reinhart)
I actually created this number for Alice in Underwearland, called “Mad Tea Party”, and I really liked it. However, at 6 minutes, I wasn’t sure when I would get to perform it again. Scratch thought we could make it fit the theme of this show and I happily agreed. We were riffing on the idea of the government or other shadow agencies putting things in the waster supply to control the populace.

Scratch: Magic
For this, he was assisted by Phoebe, who went about collecting random small objects from random audience members. Then Scratch called up a volunteer and laid the items on the table. One by one they took turns eliminating items. all completely free choice, right? At last only one item was left, a sealed envelope was opened, and lo and behold, the envelope contained the name of the item left on the table.

Devastasia: “Tombstone Blues”
This is one of Devastasia’s classic numbers. To fit the theme, she appeared as a cult leader with her acolyte, Coco, taking her costume pieces. Extra points to Coco for wearing that black hood in the heat.

Betty Blaize: Computer Geek (“Night Train” by Alvino Ray)
One of Betty’s iconic numbers. She used to perform this every year when we had a standing gig at MIT. The Internet is a dangerous place and you never know what you’ll find on-line. As you can see from the picture, Betty is actually wearing a t-shirt and jeans (also Keds and mismatched socks). Don’t worry it gets more glam as she takes off the layers. I particularly love this image of her doing something very dirty with her mouse.

Ava Fox: “9 to 5″ by Dolly Parton/”I’ve Got You Under My Skin” by Ella Fitzgerald
This was a brand new number with some clever props and costume pieces. Ava entered in a blouse and trousers with a briefcase and sat at her “desk”. She “typed”, creating the sound effects on the briefcase with her tap shoes. When she opened the briefcase into a tap board and began stripping, she revealed a little secret. It’s not just the gorgeous harness set that she made, but a lizard tail, cleverly engineered to be concealed, even as unclothed as she is in this picture, until she was ready to reveal it. Yes, lizard people walk among us!

Scratch: Magic
Scratch reveals that memory is subjective and can be influenced. With just three playing cards, he convinced an audience member that what she believed was not in fact so.

Devastasia: Mothman (“Harlem Nocturne”)
When Scratch first announced the theme of this show pretty much everyone jumped on the idea of Mothman. When the dust cleared, Devastasia had claimed the concept, and honestly, she was probably the best one to do it. As you can see from the picture, she cut and painted a set of Isis wings to look like moth wings. And her pasties glowed red, like Mothman’s eyes. This was a brilliant design and you’ll never guess how she did it.

Mina Murray: Satanic Panic (“Back in Black” by AC/DC and The Swingin’ Pops)
When a prim and proper miss finds a book that leads her down a very dark path, things can get very hot! For those of you who don’t immediately recognize it, that’s the classic AD&D Player’s Handbook.

The concept, music, and some of the costuming for this act came from Scratch, and I was all-in as soon as he suggested it. And I had an inspiration for one of the costume bits (which you can see a little of in the second picture). The fire veil (by Silk Electric) was not part of the initial choreography, but when Scratch called me from BHoF and asked if I wanted it, I knew the perfect use for it.

Although you can’t see them here, I was particularly pleased with how my flame pasties came out. I think they were the first pair of non-geometric pasties I’ve made — usually I stick to round, with the occasional foray into hearts or stars — and definitely first non-symetrical. And this act ends with some rare, for me, tassel twirling.

Betty Blaize, Ava Fox, Vivienne Kitt: “Levitating” by Postmodern Jukebox ft. Sweet Megg
We couldn’t have a show about conspiracy theories and other weirdness without a UFO encounter. And cows. Betty, our resident alien, made that amazing flying saucer and her space suit. But it was the backup dancers, in their adorable cowfits, that stole the show. And the space ship, by the end of the act.

We’ll be back at Deacon Giles with our Halloween show, Carnal Carnival, on Saturday, October 21!

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s been a frantic couple of weeks, getting ready for our newest show, Alice in Underwearland. Almost everyone was creating or learning multiple new acts and if there was something that could be reused, it got a new costume. It’s been a while since we created a show like this and we did it in about six weeks. It was exhausting,  but so worth it. I thought the show turned out great and we had TWO sold-out shows. We only planned on having one show, but tickets sold out so quickly that we added a late night edition.

Sharon Everything and Spooky Hailey were our stagehands. Things would not have gone nearly as smoothly without them! The show went a little something like this… We didn’t have a photographer, so you’ll have to make do with a couple of backstage selfies.

Sharon Everything, Ruby Rider, Indigo Switch: Three Aces (“Kindergarten”, Unkle Ho):
Those names might not be familiar to you because those are our three current apprentices making their striptease debut (stage names may change over time). However, the act might be familiar to our long time fans, if not the music. A version of this act was one of our go-to group numbers to the bouncy electro-swing song “Booty Swing”, but we really listened to the lyrics and they were Not Okay. Scratch listen to dozens of song to find a replacement and Betty salvaged as much of our original choreography as she could and voila! New, old routine! The apprentices were representing playing cards, as befits Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

Ava Fox: Painting the Roses Red (medley from Disney’s Alice in Wonderland)
Ava removed her demure blue pinafore dress and long white stockings to reveal rose tattoos all over her body. Then she brought out paint pens and encourage the audience to “paint the roses red”. It was a little more challenging that you might expect to coax people to draw on her.

The tattoos were temporary — she designed them herself — but proved quite long lasting. She was easily able to wash off the paint from the first show without any harm to the tattoo, In fact, they were a challenge to get off after the show. I think most of them were still on her a week later.

Mina Murray: Mad Tea Party (“Tea for Two”, Doris Day/”Mad World”, Post-Modern Jukebox)
I was originally going to do an act with a looking glass. It would have been pretty cool, but requires a big prop that Scratch had to build and it would have been very difficult to impossible to reset in the half hour between shows. He were wracking our brains for a new act. About a week before the show, he gave me the concept — tea party. It was so obvious! And then the music. I was immediately smitten and the whole thing came together very quickly. The tea party costume came completely from my closet, including the vintage hostess apron. I was very happy with how it all came out and I hope I can do it again someday, but at 6 minutes, it’s much longer than your standard burlesque act (though not my longest!).

Betty Blaize: Eat Me (“Big Trombone”, AronChupa and Little Sis Nora)
As the Biggest Little BeauTeaser, Betty wanted to be Alice. After biting into a cupcake, labeled “Eat Me”, of course, she begins to grow: Her arms, then her legs, then, well, you can guess… There was a lot of clever costumery to make it look like she was growing. And it the end she grabbed a Deacon Giles bottle labeled “Drink Me”.

Devastasia: The Jabberwock (something epic/”Dream a Little Dream”, Doris Day)
Devastasia entered as the Beemish Boy, holding the head of the Jabberwock. She stripped to a filmy peignoir and lay down to rest. As she dreamed, she put on a black, furry and scaly costume, turning herself into the Jabberwock. At the very last, she picked up the head and it became a mask and headdress (the rest was the dragon skull that usually sits on the mantle at The Manor). The base of the costume was made by Rae Bradbury-Enlsin for herself and then gifted it to us when she was cleaning out her vast costume closets. Devastasia modified it to make it stage-appropriate. (I was going to say stripable, but she’s dressing, not undressing).

Scratch: Card Trick
Scratch performed a little prestidigitation, as he does. However, this time it went wrong and he could not correctly produce the chosen card…

Ava Fox, Mina Murray: Punchline (“Leap Frog”)
…but Ava and I provided the payoff! Betty originally choreographed this for V for Vixen, back in 2009. She turned it into a four-person act a while later, which I was in, but this was the first version, a duet. The challenge was that she created it for Fifi and Lola LaBoomBoom, who were 19-year-old dancers who could do things like drop splits, stag leaps, and other moves I couldn’t even do I when I was 19, let alone now. Ava and I did our best to stick to the original choreography, only changing things that one of us (mostly me) were utterly incapable of doing. It was hard, but I think it was cute in the end.

Devastasia: White Rabbit
Devastasia sang Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit”, but with a smoky jazz arrangement.

Betty Blaize, Indigo Switch, Ruby Rider: The Caterpillar (“Alkazar”)
This was such a cool act! Betty was the head of the caterpillar and the two apprentices were the body. They moved together and also in ripples down the body. The focus was on lines and sinuous motion, but there were also two chairs involved with some very creative uses.

Ava Fox: The Cheshire Cat (“Upside Down”, Paloma Faith)
If you’ve seen Ava, you know she likes to do acrobatics on a folding chair and this is her best work to date. She took the name of the song to heart and spent her time flipping around on that chair. Her costume was pink and purple, like the Cheshire Cat in the Disney movie, including striped stockings. The most striking parts of the costume were the ones she made — her garter girdle made from a Manuge et Toi tutorial and those amazing pasties. And yes, the final reveal involved a grin.

Devastasia: The Queen of Hearts (“Tombstone Blues”)
Although Devastasia has an act to this song that she performs frequently, she made an entirely new costume to be the Queen of Hearts (maybe the Red Queen). New costume necessitated some new choreography, so it’s practically a new number. In case you can’t tell from the photo, the hearts on those arm drapes are cut out. I know it kind of looks like a black appliqué, but they’re actually voids, excellent for teasing.

Mina Murray: Pink Flamingo (“Swan Lake Suite”, London Symphony Orchestra)
When we were deciding on characters for the show, I said I wanted to be one of the flamingos from the croquet game and do a fan dance. Scratch suggested I use the concept for the fan dance I created for Vamps After Midnite, but change up the music and costume. So, I bought pink ostrich plumes and fabric and made myself a new costume and new fan staves. Because of time constraints we used the fan bases from Vamps, but I hope to have properly pink ones in the future. Scratch made my amazing flamingo headdress. The flamingo head comes off for transport! (and just in case I want to do a slightly more serious act with it).

We had such a good time and I think the audiences did too. Now we get ready for the Expo (May 4-7), but you can catch me before then at Booklover’s Burlesque on April 16 in Portland, OR!

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 18 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.