Dear Constant Reader,
I was up bright and early Friday morning so as not to miss Stripped Screw Burlesque‘s Walk of Shame breakfast with biscuits and sausage gravy. I did forgo a bunch of good sounding classes, like chair dance, yoga, Pilates, and Zumba in favor of a hot, relaxed breakfast. The ladies had really done up the hospitality room with balloons, streamers, empty booze bottles, and discarded undies. And all the servers had disheveled hair and smeared lipstick.
And then it was time to start learning!
Performance Tips (Kitten DeVille): I’ve had the privilege of being in a couple of shows with Kitten and that only made me more appreciative of her sexy prowling and audience-pleasing moves. It’s all in the details, as it turns out. Hand position, eye contact, chin up or down. There’s a lot of subtlety required to really tease the audience. And she made us do this killer leg exercise during our warm-up. I’m totally keeping it.
I poked my head in the Keynote speech, but the room was mobbed, so I retreated to the lobby to hang out until lunch.
Oh my, lunch. When I attended the first BurlyCon, the hotel had no restaurant and the neighborhood was sketchy, so it was delightful that hospitality provided sandwiches and snacks. How things have grown and changed. Iva Handfull, Queen of Kansas City, bestowed upon us a catered BBQ lunch with 4 meats and a plethora of sides (the vegan coleslaw was terrific!). I suspected it would be mobbed and so got in line early and good thing I did too. The line stretched way down the hall. Everything was fabulous. But I suspect the hotel was cranky about the lines and the competition with their dining options.
Tease & Tone (Michelle L’amour): I have Michelle’s DVD and enjoy it quite a bit, so I was looking forward to an in-person session. I was even more delighted that it was 3 different combinations. Lots of fun, but a good solid workout. The last song was “Booty Swing”, which we used for the opening number of The Fine Art of Burlesque, so I was fighting the ingrained choreography. Then we finished with some toning work (I really hate side planks; I guess that means I should do them more) and a little stretching. A perfect pick-me-up.
Hair Pieces and Wigs… The Big Hair Class (Cha Cha Velour): It was nice to sit for a while. There were several things in this time slot that I was interested in and The Babydolls decided they wanted to learn all about big hair. Stella and I both have very fine hair that’s a challenge to style, but I learned a lot of great tips that I think will help us get more volume. #1, use fake hair…
Booty Lab (Michelle L’amour): Back to Michelle to work my ass. As it turns out, I took this class back in 2010 when it was called “Behind the Behind”, but still good to get a refresher on all those muscle movements, especially what she calls the “middle butt”. That’s what she uses when her ass goes pow. She’s got a DVD coming out soon, which is on my wishlist. The class was huge and Michelle is short, so it was was hard to see the subtle movements, even when she stood on a chair.
I had planned to take Kicks & Spins with Coco Lectric, but after 2 high energy classes, I decided to conserve my energy for the evening’s festivities.
We planned to have dinner at hospitality where Brown Paper Tickets was again providing Middle Eastern delicacies. Last year, we had gone to a diner, just to get out of the hotel and found out they’d had few takers. Different story this year — a mere half an hour from the opening of dinner time we were told they would be out of food by the time we got to the head of the line. So, off we went to the diner for some lovely down-time. Scandal from Bohemia and Dahlia Fatale were headed in as we were headed out, so we stayed and sat with them for some pleasant conversation and swapping war stories.
That did mean we missed the second night of peer reviews and opted not to rush to the class photo, but got ready for the Burly Prom in a leisurely fashion.
I did want to wear my Junior Prom gown (yes, I still have it), but alas, my boobs are bigger and my back more muscular than when I was 16 and I can no longer zip it up past my bra strap. Bummer. Despite Indigo Blue suggesting I just let my boobs hang out, I opted for a black cocktail dress that reminded me of the prom gown just a little. I did bring the same clutch I used for the original occasion but decided not to curl and tease my hair into the giant explosion it had been back then. Scratch was dashing in a ruffled tuxedo shirt and a fuzzy tiger print jacket. Pictured is the corsage he gave me, made by Cristal Blu (it can be worn as a fascinator too!). He had a matching boutonniere, but I think it’s still in his suitcase.
Last year, the dance was in the ballroom, but drinks were in the hospitality rooms and had to be consumed there. This meant there was a crowd in the hallway outside hospitality and almost no one on the dance floor. This year, there was a bar in the lobby and one in the ballroom and lots and lots of dancing. It was pretty hot & sweaty in there! We mostly hung around in the lobby. After having our official Prom photos taken, of course.
More to come!
Matt Donaher opened the show with a little stand-up. He’s a very funny guy and I’m glad he returned to the Teaseday Club stage.
Corinne Southern brought us a classic balloon pop act to the classic song 
Sally the Altar Boy presented a beautiful glow-poi spinning act. It was one of those cases where the audience sat in an appreciative silence at the loveliness. He later told me it had been created for Zehara Nachash’s show Animus where he took the role of fireflies.
I was particularly excited to see this act. Lucie Luxe is an instructor at B.A.B.E. and this was her burlesque debut! She had a lot of friends in the audience and they were loudly approving for her first strip on stage.
Sally the Altar Boy, in honor of the day (it was Election Day), campaigned and spun poi to 
Lucie Luxe returned with a chair dance. I recognized most of those moves from the chair dance course at B.A.B.E. and I was delighted to see how she put them all together.
Corinne Southern, dressed as Eve and adorned with a snake, tempted the audience in all sorts of ways before succumbing to the apple. Corinne has some mighty slinky floor moves.
Samantha Farrell, last month’s winner of The Great Teaseday Cookie, performed the entire last set with her band and a little burlesque from The Boston Babydolls.
She opened with an original song “Trouble You Need”, which she wrote in tribute to Benjamin Franklin. It’s much sexier than that sounds. Stella Diamond certainly thought so.
Yes, an actual fireplace, keeping us toasty warm. A warm dressing room is a relative rarity, unfortunately, and this was just delightful.
First up was Devora with a charming dance in which she seeks the perfect man. But what is she doing with that shovel? The fellow rolled up in the rug, by the way, is named Frank.
Then Stella sang “Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me”. It was supposed to be just a variety number (no stripping), but she convinced Scratch to let her wear her adorable Innocent dress from The Wrathskellar 2011 (bright pink, eyelet lace trim, satin sash). And then it only made sense for her to remove it. And as long as she was showing her bra, she might as well go down to pasties. The audience didn’t seem to mind.
I closed out the set with my tribute to the alleged axe-murderess of Fall River, Lizzie Borden. I was a little nervous because it involves water, and a wet, slippery stage is no fun for anyone. Scratch had provided a large plastic tablecloth and it seemed to work just fine. 
After a short break, we were back. I opened the set with my fan dace to “Jezebel”. Well, I was supposed to. iTunes chose that moment to have a hissy fit and refuse to play. Eventually Scratch & Dan the DJ beat the computer into submission and I could begin.
Then Scratch did a little trick involving a 6-inch-long metal spike, hidden under one of three cups. A successful conclusion involves 2 smashed cups and no injury. An unsuccessful one… Well, let’s just say that spike is really sharp. I can never watch when he does this one. 
Oh, The Glamourous Life! 