Dear Constant Reader,
Here’s another Golden Pastie campaign promise:
I am a proud one-percenter. When I finish an act, only 1% of my body will be covered by a costume.
Vote for me for The MacGyver Award!
Promises, Promises
Dear Constant Reader,
I promised that if I was nominated for a Golden Pastie Award, I would make campaign promises. And I always keep my promises. Here’s the first one:
If I win, I will leak to the media racy photographs of myself in compromising positions.
Vote for me for The MacGyver Award!
Friday Tip!
Dear Constant Reader,
We’re getting closer to The Wrathskellar and, among other things, are putting the finishing touches on costumes, which leads me to this tip:
If you have limited time, money and/or materials, invest them in the bottom layer of your costume. It’s the last thing the audience is going to see and you want to leave them with a dazzling impression.
P.S. I’ve been nominated for a Golden Pastie Award! Please vote for me for The MacGyver Award (For the performer who can fix any costume malfunction anytime, anywhere, and with anything).
Almost Golden
Dear Constant Reader,
Thanks to you, I have been nominated for a Golden Pastie Award! Let me tell you, it’s an honor just to be nominated, especially since this is my first New York Burlesque Festival.
If you would, now please vote for me for The MacGyver Award (For the performer who can fix any costume malfunction anytime, anywhere, and with anything). I’ve got some really stiff competition — there are some talented and clever ladies on the list! You only need to vote once.
With your help, I can bring home that coveted Pastie!
Friday Tip!
Dear Constant Reader,
Before your weekly tip, I just wanted to let you know the latest news:
Devora’s surgery went well and she’s recuperating at her grandmother’s. Rehearsals aren’t the same without her.
After emergency auditions and a *long* deliberation, we have a new Lost Girl.
And now for your tip… This is something Scratch posted on Twitter yesterday and I think it’s advice we all could take.
There are mean people and jerks in the world. Try not to be one of them, OK? Create don’t destroy. Positive not negative.
P.S. Please nominate me for The MacGyver Award (for the performer who can fix any costume malfunction anytime, anywhere, and with anything) at the Golden Pastie Awards! Nominations close today!
Bad News
Dear Constant Reader,
Have you ever had one of those moments where, in a heartbeat, everything changes?
Saturday night, I returned to Babydoll Manor late and full of good cheer. Billie von Bon Bon, former Babydoll songbird, was back in town for her bachelorette party. I’ve missed her terribly since she moved to San Francisco and it was so good to see her, especially on such a festive occasion.
One last check of my mail before bed, I thought. And that’s when I read the message I wish had never been sent.
Devora Darling was in an awful accident. She’s in the hospital with a broken arm, broken hip, and broken jaw. Scratch wrote up more details here, if you care for such things.
Scratch & I visited her and it was heartbreaking to see our usually cheerful D.D. so miserable. She tried to keep her outlook sunny, like she always does, but it was obvious she’s in a lot of pain, physically and emotionally. The Wrathskellar opens in a month and she’s devastated that she won’t be able to dance. She originated the role of The Lost Girl, created the iconic “Creepy Doll” act, and has a new danse Apache with Evie that’s stunning. I can’t imagine the show without her.
All the Babydolls have pulled together to hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. The show will go on and Devora will be involved somehow, but right now we’re holding emergency auditions for a new Lost Girl. I’ll keep you posted.
Tearfully,
Friday Tip!
Dear Constant Reader,
Sometimes you get lucky.
Don’t count on it, but if it happens, enjoy every minute.
P.S. Please nominate me for The MacGyver Award (for the performer who can fix any costume malfunction anytime, anywhere, and with anything) at the Golden Pastie Awards! Nominations close September 7th.
A Day with Princess Farhana
Dear Constant Reader,
You’ve read about my busy Saturday, but I also had a busy Sunday. Princess Farhana of Hollywood was in town and I was not going to miss an opportunity to take a class with one of the original members of The Velvet Hammer, the godmothers of the neo-burlesque movement.
Now, by “in town” I mean 2 hours north into New Hampshire. Just think of how early I had to get up! And I had had a show the night before. I am nothing if not dedicated.
The workshop was hosted by Raq-on Dance at their charming studio. (“raqs” is Arabic for “dance”. Cute, no?).
Our first class was called “The Naughty Side of Little Egypt” about the history of burlesque and the burlesque/bellydance connection (which many bellydancers would like to ignore). It was very entertaining, made more so by Princess’s digressions into stories about her life in both burlesque and bellydance (and the intersection of the two). Princess as a pink-haired teenaged punk stripper, lingerie strip-tease parties with the future Superstars of Bellydance, raunchy Cairo cabarets, the first Velvet Hammer show…
Then we broke for lunch, during which time I had sushi with Vivian Vice of Whistlebait Burlesque and one of her bellydancer friends. They drove almost as far as I did!
The second class was “Beginner Burlesque”. I know you’re wondering why I took a beginner class, but it’s really not as silly as it sounds. It’s what was offered. It’s good to refresh skills from a basic level; it keeps one from getting sloppy. I’m interested in seeing how different instructors teach. I don’t know everything; there’s always a chance I’ll learn something new.
I firmly believe that if I learn *one* new thing, a class was worth it.
Since the class was aimed at bellydancers, most of the instruction was in terms they’d understand (I remember that she described the movement needed for tassel twirling as “Egyptian heel drops”). We practiced walks (4 different ones, I think), occasionally pausing for a little bump & grind. She also demonstrated some floor work, especially how to get down & up (ass first!)
We played with boas a bit. I brought my big red & white turkey boa — I thought the ostrich one with the gold balls might be a tad ostentatious. Learned a nice, tidy way to discard the boa plus a good storage method.
Then it was time for stripping. We started with gloves and I had one of those headsmacking moments of a remove that was so obvious and yet I never thought of it.
We moved on to bras & panties, which caused a bit of a commotion, because those items hadn’t been mentioned in the class description. Most of us just took off our bras and put them back on over our tops (very sexy indeed) and pulled on our air panties.
Then it was show time, of sorts. Those who wanted to (and I’d say only half the class, maybe even less, participated), got to put everything together and perform. Once with Princess, once with her in the audience. The first song was “Lament”, which is completely my style and I know it inside and out, so I was able to let go and have fun with it. The second song, “Bumps & Grinds” is less to my liking and I don’t know it as well, but I think I was able to acquit myself well.
And then I had to race out the door and head back to Boston for rehearsal. To which I barely arrived on time. But I still arrived before Scratch, so I wasn’t late. And bearing gifts. Well, a gift. A “Belly Dance and Balance” DVD for Betty who likes to balance things on her head and other body parts. As one could see in The Wrathskellar last year.
Saluting Bettie Page
Dear Constant Reader,
Saturday was a flurry of activity in Babydoll Land. We were hosting a very generous Kickstarter backer for dinner and performing in the 3rd Annual Salute to Bettie Page. Simultaneously! Babydolls can be in two places at once (since there are 7 of us…)
Scratch already wrote about the fabulous feast. Go read it and come back here to read about the show.*
Just as the kitchen at Babydoll Manor was in full swing, Brigitte arrived in her adorable yellow sports car to whisk us away to Providence. I had the pleasure of modeling in the first Salute, but had to miss last year because of our tour schedule. It was Brigitte’s first time. And we were performing burlesque as well.
On our arrival we found BettySioux Tailor, as usual, humming around doing a thousand things. She pulled a couple of outfits for us to try on and made the pick. Brigitte got a red bustier and slinky pencil skirt for her first look and a blue leopard bra and retro-style garterbelt for the second. Quite hot, I must say.
I had a cute pink and orange sundress for my first look and the world’s most uncomfortable clear plastic heels. They looked good, especially with the pink bows on the toes but I was so glad to get them off. For my lingerie look, I really loved a sheer black bra & tap pant set with attached purple rhinestone pasties, but the bottoms weren’t cut right for me. Instead I wore an adorable sailor bikini with an anchor appliqued on the butt. Yachting cap included.
We all wore Bettie Page wigs for the fashion show. Brigitte had never worn one before, but BettySioux took a few moments out of her busy evening to make sure it was on just right. We also had the luxury of having stylists do our makeup. Such a treat!
I do hope someone got pictures — I had left my camera with Scratch.
There were some fine performances. BettySioux led off the night with a classic-style bump & grind with fantastic facial expressions. Corrine Southern performed a tribute to Bettie Page’s iconic Playboy photo, complete with Christmas tree. Acacia Spinstress amazed me with her skillful hooping (3 hoops!).
And then it was our turn. We performed “Mistress & Maid” from The Wrathskellar which was partially inspired from Bettie Page and Tempest Storm in Teaserama. Brigitte wore her Bettie wig, which just added to the fun. It went over very well. Girl/girl spanking always does.
Part of the Glamourous Life is making sure you leave with all the costume that you arrive with. I realized my bra was not in my heap of clothes. I knew what had happened: I drape it over the screen that I change behind during the act and it was probably still there. You can see it in the above picture.
Except the screen was now gone from the stage. After frantic hunting all over the club, we found it neatly folded up on the other side of the stage, with my red satin bullet bra neatly folded up inside it.
After saying goodbye and receiving some lovely goodie bags (that BettySioux is such a doll!), we headed north. Babydoll Manor was quiet and restored to pre-feast order. They’d even saved me a piece of Charlotte Russe.
It was a great night, tons of fun, and the audience appeared to have a blast. We’re already looking forward to next year!
* [EDIT] The blog post has disappeared with the old Babydolls website, but for posterity, the grand menu was:
Zakuski platter
Herring in dill sauce
Cheese spread
Black bread
Pickled onions
Mushroom salad
Vodka
First Course
Blini with dill, sour cream, chopped hard boiled egg, and caviar
Second Course
Cold cherry soup
Main Course
Kasha with mushrooms
Roasted cabbage
Carrot and cumin salad
Fried bone-in chicken breasts with garlic sauce, sour plum sauce, and walnut sauce
Dessert
Charlotte Russe
P.S. Please nominate me for The MacGyver Award (for the performer who can fix any costume malfunction anytime, anywhere, and with anything) at the Golden Pastie Awards! Nominations close September 3rd.
Friday Tip!
Dear Constant Reader,
Before today’s tip (which I know you are eagerly awaiting, like all of my pearls of wisdom), I’d like to mention that nominations are open for The Golden Pastie Awards at the New York Burlesque Festival. Perhaps you would like to nominate me? I wouldn’t want to structure your experience, but I’m thinking The MacGyver Award (for the performer who can fix any costume malfunction anytime, anywhere, and with anything), although usually I’m known as The Martha Stewart of Burlesque.
And on that note:
If something is spilled on your costume, quickly rinse it with cold water and blot with a clean towel.
Heat will set stains, hence *cold* water. Rubbing will grind the stain into the fabric, so blot. And by towel, I mean, napkin, paper towel, hankie, spare sock, &c. Once you get home you can properly care for the stain, without having made life harder for yourself.
For more helpful costume care information, attend my class at BurlyCon in November!
Oh, The Glamourous Life! 
