Secrets of the Illumi-Naughty, 7/8/23

Dear Constant Reader,

Our most recent show happened because of a piece of spam email. Scratch shared some spam promising to initiate him into the secrets of the Illuminati and more than one of his friends made a joke about Illuminaughty. Thus our show about secret societies, conspiracy theories, shadowy government agencies, and cryptids was born.

It was a hot day and quite sweaty backstage at Deacon Giles. We planned two shows, but, in that unpredictable way audiences have, the early show almost sold out and only half a dozen people bought tickets for the late show. So we rolled them into one. It’s for the best. I know I was feeling the heat badly by the end of the show and I’m not sure I could have done a second one and still given a good performance.

Our stage crew were apprentices Coco and Phoebe with F. Andrew Taylor on follow spot. Lots of credit to Phoebe who kittened and performed and really took the lead on set up and strike. Big thanks as always to everyone at Deacon Giles, especially Jesse & Ian for giving us a place to perform and Peter behind the bar for always making delightful and creative concoctions.

The following photos are images taken from the video of the show shot on my phone, so if they look a little odd, that’s why. Maybe someday we’ll have the luxury of a photographer and/or videographer again.

And here’s how it went:

MIBBetty Blaize, Phoebe Star, Vivienne Kitt: Men in Black (“Poker Face” by Postmodern Jukebox ft Kelley Jakle)
Betty, Phoebe, and Vivienne were stoic in black jackets, skinny ties, sunglasses, (and no pants) until one of them flashed the other with her memory-erasing device. Shenanigans and stripping ensued. Of course Betty tried to get everything back on track, only to be drawn into the chaos.

Secret Agent ManDevastasia: “Secret Agent Man”
These days, if Devastasia is in a show, you can expect to hear her sing. And what a treat that is. She considered wearing a trenchcoat and fedora for this song, but it was too flipping hot. I think this red dress is pretty smashing. The song is obviously the theme from the eponymous television show.

The Spy 2Ava Fox: “The Spy” by The Doors
Continuing on our theme of those who know too much about you, Ava was the spy in the house of love. It’s an impressive chair dance. I originally selected a picture of Ava in her top layer, a slinky evening gown, but how amazing is this move? From the headdstand , she magically ends up sitting in the chair.

Tea for TwoMina Murray: There’s Something in the Water (“Tea for Two” by Doris Day/”Mad World” by Postmodern Jukebox ft. Puddles Pity Party & Haley Reinhart)
I actually created this number for Alice in Underwearland, called “Mad Tea Party”, and I really liked it. However, at 6 minutes, I wasn’t sure when I would get to perform it again. Scratch thought we could make it fit the theme of this show and I happily agreed. We were riffing on the idea of the government or other shadow agencies putting things in the waster supply to control the populace.

Magic 1Scratch: Magic
For this, he was assisted by Phoebe, who went about collecting random small objects from random audience members. Then Scratch called up a volunteer and laid the items on the table. One by one they took turns eliminating items. all completely free choice, right? At last only one item was left, a sealed envelope was opened, and lo and behold, the envelope contained the name of the item left on the table.

Tomstone BluesDevastasia: “Tombstone Blues”
This is one of Devastasia’s classic numbers. To fit the theme, she appeared as a cult leader with her acolyte, Coco, taking her costume pieces. Extra points to Coco for wearing that black hood in the heat.

The GeekBetty Blaize: Computer Geek (“Night Train” by Alvino Ray)
One of Betty’s iconic numbers. She used to perform this every year when we had a standing gig at MIT. The Internet is a dangerous place and you never know what you’ll find on-line. As you can see from the picture, Betty is actually wearing a t-shirt and jeans (also Keds and mismatched socks). Don’t worry it gets more glam as she takes off the layers. I particularly love this image of her doing something very dirty with her mouse.

LizardAva Fox: “9 to 5″ by Dolly Parton/”I’ve Got You Under My Skin” by Ella Fitzgerald
This was a brand new number with some clever props and costume pieces. Ava entered in a blouse and trousers with a briefcase and sat at her “desk”. She “typed”, creating the sound effects on the briefcase with her tap shoes. When she opened the briefcase into a tap board and began stripping, she revealed a little secret. It’s not just the gorgeous harness set that she made, but a lizard tail, cleverly engineered to be concealed, even as unclothed as she is in this picture, until she was ready to reveal it. Yes, lizard people walk among us!

Magic 2Scratch: Magic
Scratch reveals that memory is subjective and can be influenced. With just three playing cards, he convinced an audience member that what she believed was not in fact so.

MothmanDevastasia: Mothman (“Harlem Nocturne”)
When Scratch first announced the theme of this show pretty much everyone jumped on the idea of Mothman. When the dust cleared, Devastasia had claimed the concept, and honestly, she was probably the best one to do it. As you can see from the picture, she cut and painted a set of Isis wings to look like moth wings. And her pasties glowed red, like Mothman’s eyes. This was a brilliant design and you’ll never guess how she did it.

Satanic Panic 1Mina Murray: Satanic Panic (“Back in Black” by AC/DC and The Swingin’ Pops)
When a prim and proper miss finds a book that leads her down a very dark path, things can get very hot! For those of you who don’t immediately recognize it, that’s the classic AD&D Player’s Handbook.

Fire veil 3The concept, music, and some of the costuming for this act came from Scratch, and I was all-in as soon as he suggested it. And I had an inspiration for one of the costume bits (which you can see a little of in the second picture). The fire veil (by Silk Electric) was not part of the initial choreography, but when Scratch called me from BHoF and asked if I wanted it, I knew the perfect use for it.

Although you can’t see them here, I was particularly pleased with how my flame pasties came out. I think they were the first pair of non-geometric pasties I’ve made — usually I stick to round, with the occasional foray into hearts or stars — and definitely first non-symetrical. And this act ends with some rare, for me, tassel twirling.

CowsBetty Blaize, Ava Fox, Vivienne Kitt: “Levitating” by Postmodern Jukebox ft. Sweet Megg
We couldn’t have a show about conspiracy theories and other weirdness without a UFO encounter. And cows. Betty, our resident alien, made that amazing flying saucer and her space suit. But it was the backup dancers, in their adorable cowfits, that stole the show. And the space ship, by the end of the act.

We’ll be back at Deacon Giles with our Halloween show, Carnal Carnival, on Saturday, October 21!

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 16 August 2023 at 3:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s Friday! I can’t believe I haven’t given you this tip already…

Boots, then corset.

My Old School Goths know what I’m talking about…

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 11 August 2023 at 12:44 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! How about a tip? Yes? Good. Here we go…

Trends come and go; stay true to yourself.

There will always be that thing it seems like everyone is wearing or doing or using. Just because it seems like the whole burlesque world is wearing a mesh corset or clacking their heels or performing to that song that you can’t stop hearing everywhere or portraying a character from the latest blockbuster movie right now, you don’t have to.

I’m not here to say you can’t jump on a burlesque bandwagon, but don’t do it because you think the audience or the festival committee or the judges or your peers think you should. Do it because you think it will be fun or it speaks to you.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 4 August 2023 at 3:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I hope you’re someplace cool today!

In tips past I’ve told you tricks that involve old stockings, like this one and this one. Here’s another! And it’s seasonally appropriate.

Stockings are useful gardening tools.

As you can see from the photo, I’m using an old stocking to support this pumpkin that has grown up the fence. The stocking, securely tied to the fence, will stretch as the pumpkin grows and the vine doesn’t have to support all the weight.

Stockings also work well to tie tomato plants to stakes without cutting into the stems.

Do you garden? Do you reuse stockings or other unlikely items?

M2

P.S. It turns out this is my 600th tip! If I’d realized that, I would have tried to make it more momentous. Ah well!

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 28 July 2023 at 3:56 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! This is a  bit of a specialty tip today.

If you tap dance, you can make sure you always have a good dance surface with a tap board.

How many times have we had to perform on carpet or some other less than ideal stage? It can make a regular burlesque routine challenging, but for a tap dancer, it can be impossible to perform.

The answer is a tap board — a portable wooden dance surface. You can buy them or make them (there are plenty of tutorials out there). For our most recent show, Scratch constructed one for Ava that was disguised as a briefcase, which opened flat when she was ready to dance on it. (it’s not light, but Ava handled it with grace).

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 21 July 2023 at 3:32 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s another hot and humid day. Ah, summer in New England! While this tip is especially helpful in summer, I think it’s pretty good year round.

Pack clothes for after the show. 

After sweating your way through a show, it feels good to put on some fresh clothes afterwards for socializing or just the trip home. If you can’t bring an entire set, at least bring some clean underthings to change into.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 14 July 2023 at 9:29 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Blogaversary

Dear Constant Reader,

WordPress just reminded me that I’ve been writing missives here for 12 years.

Thanks for being here for my eclectic, erratic writings!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 12 July 2023 at 3:21 pm  Leave a Comment  

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Summer is here! It’s very darn hot in Boston. Here’s a seasonal tip!

Consider keeping a small folding fan in your bag.

Not only can it help you cool down but you can use it to speed up drying your liquid makeup or pastie adhesive when it’s humid.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 7 July 2023 at 5:04 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Have a tip!

IMG_2002When making non-symetrical pasties, and you want them to mirror each other, remember to flip your pattern over for the second one!

Yes, this was inspired by the pasties I’m making for our upcoming show. No, it’s not because I made that particular mistake. No, they’re not the pasties pictured — those are by Canova Studio. If you want to see the ones I’m making, you’ll have to get a ticket to Secrets of the Illuminaughty on July 8.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 30 June 2023 at 2:19 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Booklover’s Burlesque Festival 4/14-16/23

Dear Constant Reader,

I was delighted when I was accepted to perform at the First Annual Booklover’s Burlesque Festival in Portland, Oregon. First, because if you’ve been reading here for a while you know how infrequently I’m accepted to perform at festivals, then because I’ve never been to Oregon, let alone performed there, and I do love revealing a new state on my travel map, and finally, but most importantly, a whole event about literature and burlesque, two of my favorite things!

It was an a bit of an ordeal figuring out how to get there. My usual airline only flew at inconvenient times and was charging astronomical amounts. Ava Fox suggested some places to stalk cheap tickets and I was finally able to confirm that I was going. The deal was sweetened further when producer Lacy Knightly hooked me up with a local performer who had a spare bedroom.

I arrived around mid-day (local time) on Friday, having arisen at 4am (Boston time). Although the festival had started on Thursday, I couldn’t take that much time away. I thought about going straight to my host’s home from the airport, but realized I could get to the theater in time for one of the classes. That was the right decision because just as I pulled up, there was a group of performers heading out for some lunch between classes and I joined then.

IMG_1814Before the class, I needed to check in with Lacy and get my performer badge. Also a particularly awesome swag bag, which, besides the usual cards and pamphlets from sponsors, contained socks (you know you’re a veteran showgirl when you get excited for socks) from Solmate and from Fantasy, plus all softs of festival-branded items like the tote bag itself and a big mug full of chocolates and tea bags. It’s like they know me! And, to top it all off, a whole-ass bottle of wine from Nasty Woman Wines (I picked a Pantsuit Pinot Noir). Knowing I wouldn’t be able to bring it home, as I only had a carry on, I hoped my hosts would enjoy it.

The class was Guest of Honor Leslie Cunningham‘s presentation “Girl Show”. I had taken it at BurlyCon, but a different group of people raised different questions and discussion. I still want to take her other two classes. Leslie was staying at the same house I was, so all weekend I shamelessly tagged along on her GoH status for rides.

After I got a nap (with Miko, one of the resident corgis) and dressed for evening, we returned to the Alberta Rose Theatre for the first grand showcase. Booklover’s Burlesque is a marriage of literary readings and burlesque. The host would introduce reader and performer, then the reader would, well, read aloud. Over the three shows I attended, there was classic literature, including Shakespeare, folklore, children’s books, graphics novels, non-fiction, poetry, writings from some of the performers, and probably more that I’m forgetting. After the reading, there would be a burlesque act that complimented it. I think my favorites of the evening were Remy Dee’s Headless Horseman and Guest of Honor Jo Weldon’s leopard-print tease. She can do so much with so little. After the rather long show, I finally met my hostess (and opening performer for the night) The Infamous Nina Nightshade.

Saturday, after a delightful home-cooked breakfast and some downtime, we returned to the theater for  Jo Weldon’s first workshop “Pleasure and the Art of the Eyefuck”. I had taken this class at Virtual BurlyCon in 2020, but that was nothing like experiencing it live with other students to practice on. Jo is one of those people, that when she talks, I listen and there will always be a little bit of wisdom to take away. I have learned so much from her over the years and this class was no exception. Facial expression and communication is not one of my strong skills, so the exercises we did were very valuable to me, if uncomfortable at first.

Although I was staying for her next class, about creating a book proposal, I was starving and skipped the first 15 minutes or so to grab some (pretty darn good) Thai food from a couple of doors down. I had also taken this class as an on-line workshop, but again, in-person has a completely different feel and there were different take-aways. As my new book is currently in production, it was useful to hear about the publishing industry and what goes into selling a book, even though I’m self-publishing.

After a quick nap and change into evening attire, I headed out to the second grand showcase with Nina (who had already had one gig that afternoon and would be leaving the show early for another). The show was four hours long. You heard me correctly. I realized we were in for a long one when the MC wrapped up her opening remarks to introduce the first pairing and I snuck a look at my phone to see that half an hour had already passed. There was a lot of good stuff, although I was starting to nod off in the later part of the second half (still being on East Coast Time). I particularly liked Maggie McMuffin’s Jean Gray/Phoenix, Gem Brûlée’s Captain Underpants, and a Cupid & Psyche lyra duet. Leslie had been nervous about her reading, but she did great — and told me she used some of the techniques we learned from Jo that afternoon.

Finally, Sunday morning came. We were performing in a large tent, the sort that are set up for weddings and other festivities, on the grounds of the Victorian Belle Mansion. Our dressing room was on the top floor of the house and then we would walk through the garden to get to the tent. It would have been utterly charming if it wasn’t raining. Fortunately, I was opening the second act and the rain had stopped by then.

The Faerie Queene is a challenging act for me and I was more nervous than I expected. I do several different magic tricks during it, but it’s not a “magic” act. The tricks need to be done very casually without a lot of “abracadabra”, but not so subtly that people miss them, like when the painting on my fan changes from a butterfly to a flower and back again. Knowing that Professor DR Schreiber, the Historical Conjurer, was in the audience also made me a bit more nervous.

I shouldn’t have been. First off, Whiskey Rick was a wonderful host, which helped put me at ease. My reader, Megan Skye Hale, was lovely, with a passage from, no surprise, Spenser’s The Faerie Queene. The magic went smoothly, as did the striptease, and I think the audience enjoyed it all.

Post-show, it was great to catch up with Sharon, one of our former apprentices who had moved to Portland. It felt wonderful to know there was someone in the audience who was there to see me. That happens so rarely when I travel.

Then there was brunch for performers inside the mansion. The Belle is quite gorgeous and in the midst of taking pictures of the beautiful stained glass, furniture, and hardware, I remembered to take a selfie in one of the rooms.

IMG_1302

The rest of the evening was spent hanging out with Jo, Nina, and the corgis until it was time for me to go to the airport. The Portland airport has a tiny movie theatre showing short films, so I entertained myself thusly for a bit. Once I got to the gate, I was delighted that Gem Brûlée and Scarlett Wisteria were on the same flight, so I had people to chat with until we boarded. I believe I actually slept until we arrived in Charlotte where I bid my traveling companions farewell and took my next flight north where some handsome gentlemen were waiting for me.

To sum up, a well-organized festival with a large and skilled crew. Tips were diligently collected for performers and handed over with the costume bits right after each act. (Tips were pooled for readers and performers were encouraged to share some of their tips with readers and stage crew.) I was paid a couple of days after I got home and received photos a couple of weeks later. [EDIT from the future: video arrived at the beginning of September] I am particularly grateful to Lacy for arranging for a place for me to stay and Nina for generously opening her home. Not only was I spared the challenge of trying to find affordable lodging in an unfamiliar city, but I never felt the usual travel loneliness.

Photos of The Faerie Queene in action by Guy Masson/ Phoebus-Foto, courtesy of Lacy Productions
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M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 20 June 2023 at 3:59 pm  Leave a Comment