Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I’ve been making pasties like crazy for all the Burly-Q Parties we have booked, so this tip came to mind.

If you make pasties frequently, make templates of your most-used shapes.

Pictured is my round pastie template, which is made it out of quilter’s template plastic. Paper templates, even cardstock, just weren’t durable enough for the number of pasties I make. Especially if you make shaped pasties or pasties in multiple sizes, a sturdy template is going to make your life so much easier.

M2Like this tip? There is more costuming information in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Burlesque Costuming, Vol 1: The Foundations.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 10 May 2019 at 3:26 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Review: Early Havoc

Dear Constant Reader,

A book review! I know I’ve been remiss in writing these and I’ve let a huge stack of books just pile up. Today’s book is not so much about burlesque as it is adjacent to burlesque.

Early Havoc by June Havoc (1959)

June Havoc was Gypsy Rose Lee’s little sister, the former Dainty Baby June, vaudeville sensation. She wrote two memoirs about her life in show business. Early Havoc is a bit harder to find, but Scratch used his excellent hunting skills to find a first edition, which had been signed by the author.

Early Havoc alternates chapters between June’s time in vaudeville and her first dance marathon. June was a dance prodigy and from the time she could walk, her mother put her on stage. She was a vaudeville star and even made some movies. As she grew up, the act she had been performing since childhood grew stale and vaudeville declined. June’s mother adamantly refused to let June have an education or any training in dance or acting. She kept her daughter frozen in childhood, unwilling to allow any change. When June was 13 (she thought she might be 16 and her forged birth certificate claimed she was 18) she was desperate to change her life and secretly married Bobby Reed, a dancer from her act. The newlyweds ran away to start a new life and double act.

It was the Great Depression. Vaudeville was dead. June realizes that between her life in show business and her mother’s, let us just say, eccentric view of the child rearing, she has absolutely no idea how to behave in “normal” life. June and Bobby split up in hopes of finding work as solo performers. A $5 booking led June into the brutal world of dance marathons. She took the job at first because the promoter promised 6 meals a day. In a dance marathon, partners have to stay on the dance floor, constantly moving, for as long as possible, in this case, up to three thousand hours. The dancers only get one 11-minute rest break every hour or, later in the marathon, only every two hours. They have to keep moving during meal time and even when called up on stage to entertain the audience with a song, specialty dance, or comedy routine. The teams that stick it out to the end win a cash prize.

June is naive about the dirty dealings on the dance floor, but quickly becomes a pro, a “horse”. After falling victim to tricks from her fellow participants to injure her or make her sick, she learns to keep going no matter what, to lug her sleeping partner around the dance floor, to look pathetic and weak during her time on the performance stage so as to get better “floor money” (tips). She also has to survive the sadistic stunts of the event promoters and their underhanded tactics to make as much money as possible off the backs of the desperate dancers. The marathon participants are pushed beyond exhaustion with grueling “sprints” and “grinds” and “treadmills”. The crueler the events, the more audience they get.

The book ends with the conclusion of the marathon. After making it all the way through, June discovers she’s been cheated out of most of her earnings and prize money. She swears she’ll do just one more marathon, now that she’s wise to the tricks.

What’s the burlesque connection? Throughout the books, when June mentions her sister, it’s to speak in awe of Louise’s intellect and her beauty, but she has little talent for singing and dancing. When June first arrives in New York, desperate, her mother boasts about Louise’s career and all her accomplishments, while treating June as someone she vaguely remembers meeting once upon a time. It’s a shock to discover her beloved older sister is now Gypsy Rose Lee, staring in Minsky’s Ada Onion from Bermuda. June is awestruck by Gypsy’s beauty and stage presence. She describes watching Gypsy’s famous act as Bobby gushes about her sense of humor and good looks. Gypsy herself is a distant presence, hardly noticing her little sister. However, Gypsy kindly gets June and Bobby a spot in the show doing their dance act, but they’re fired after two weeks. Nothing personal — management just has to change up the show.

The whole book is less a tale of show business than a memoir of survival. June knows she’s got a lot against her — raw talent but no training, little education, a selfish and manipulative mother, no support — but she’s determined to make her way in the world. Her story is painful to read at times, especially her assessments of herself and her awkward interactions with “regular” people.

The book ends leaving many questions unanswered: Does she make it out of the world of marathon dances? Does she get out from under her mother’s shadow? Does she find success on stage? Does she ever have a relationship with her sister? Fortunately, there’s another memoir, More Havoc, published 20 years later, answers some of those questions. I’ll review that one next.

One little tidbit — I was excited to realize that the last theatre Dainty June played before she escaped her mother was the Jayhawk in Topeka, KS. I’ll be performing there on June 22 with Hot in Topeka as part of a fundraiser for the theatre!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 6 May 2019 at 2:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

It’s everybody’s job to promote the show.

Few of us are lucky enough to work for shows with dedicated marketing people. While it’s true that the performer’s job is to perform, you don’t want to be doing it in an empty venue. And a producer will be more likely to book you again, if you prove you’re invested in the success of the show.

Since everyone has different pools of fans and different strategies for promoting, a multi-pronged approach is going be even more successful. Besides, to borrow an old saying, many hands make light work. A dozen people can get the word out more easily and efficiently than just one.

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 3 May 2019 at 2:42 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Atlanta 3/31/19

Dear Constant Reader,

One of the wonderful benefits of the mentorship program with Egypt Blaque Knyle was working with a bunch of wonderful women, with whom I might otherwise not have met. When Coco Rosé invited the members of our group to perform at her show, either in Atlanta or Memphis, I jumped at the chance.

I haven’t been to either city before, but Atlanta won, with more reasonably priced plane tickets. It was Coco’s anniversary show and her theme was “Evolution” — I thought the act I’d developed during Egypt’s program fit the bill.

My flight arrived in Atlanta Saturday evening. It was such a luxury not to have to get up at godawful in the morning, as is usually the case when I travel. It was also a luxury to not have to check a bag. I was only doing the one act and that costume doesn’t take up much suitcase real estate.

Coco put me up at an Airbnb and as soon as I was settled in, I headed out to one of the last remaining Trader Vic’s. I wasn’t going to pass up the opportunity to have a cocktail at the legendary tiki restaurant. Although I considered a piña colada, I had their signature mai tai.

Sunday morning I had hoped to be teaching. Talloolah Love of the Atlanta School of Burlesque had scheduled me for a workshop at Metropolitan Studios, but we didn’t get enough students to go ahead. Instead I went sightseeing. I was staying walking distance (for me, anyway) from the aquarium, so walk I did. It was a cold, overcast, windy day and I had packed for the 80 degree temperatures of the previous day!

Because I was a tourist. I visited World of Coca-Cola. I know, a weird choice for someone who doesn’t drink soda, but what the heck. There was some fun history, like this 19th century syrup dispenser (1 part syrup, 5 parts carbonated water) and the gallery about the advertising campaigns using the Coca-Cola Sprite (who disappeared before the soda named for him was developed). I did try some of the myriad sodas from around the world. My absolute favorite was the cucumber Sprite from Russia. Pine-Nut from Africa (pineapple and coconut, not actually pine nut flavor, alas) was a distant second. Inca Kola, often seen in my neighborhood, was way too sweet for me and tasted kind of like bubblegum. Least favorite was Beverley, a rather bitter soda from Italy. I later learned it’s drunk like an aperitif. I suppose if you are an amaro fan or like tonic water, it might be a win for you.

By then it was absolutely lunch time and some previous research had revealed a barbecue place just a short walk away. If you’ve been reading here for any length of time, you’ll know how fond I am of barbecue. Twin Smokers BBQ was just what I wanted. The sausage was a little dry, but the pulled pork was perfection, and I appreciated the wide range of sauces.

Thus fortified, I headed off to the Center for Puppetry Arts. The Global Collection is a huge display of puppets from around the world, including some celebrities, like Tom Servo and Madame. I was quite taken with the Vietnamese water puppets. The other main gallery is the Jim Henson Collection. What a delight! It was like visiting a whole bunch of old friends. It was hard to pick a representative photo, but here’s Fizzgig! The special exhibit gallery also featured Henson — The Dark Crystal! Besides getting to see all the fabulous creatures up close, there were also concept sketches and prototypes and video about the making of the movie. I was just a wee thing when I saw the movie, so I had no idea how revolutionary it was in terms of puppetry and film making.

But you want to know about the show! The Red Light Cafe is a familiar sort of venue — I’ve played many like this. I knew exactly what to expect when I walked in the door. It’s set up for bands. The stage is small and carpeted with monitors up front. The lighting set up is simple. The dressing room was cobbled together from some storage space in a loft and was better than many places I’ve changed. Several mirrors, decent lighting, including a makeup station, and plenty of places to put one’s stuff. From the posters on the walls, there a lot of burlesque at the venue.

The only performer I knew, other than Coco, was Stormy Knight, who had come to an early Expo. I was so flattered that she brought her copies of my Little Books for me to sign! It was great to reconnect with her and we ended up chatting a lot in the dressing room.

The show started at 6pm, which was unusual for me, but great for a Sunday night! There were eight acts in the show with an intermission and raffle drawings in the middle. I’m always interested in seeing how other producers do things differently. The raffle was for a variety of goods and services and one could put your ticket(s) in the (glitter-encrusted) jar for the items you wanted. Then the stage kittens would mix up the tickets in one of those bingo cages. I don’t remember the pricing for the tickets but the last one was “tits to toes” as measured on Winter (the long-stemmed) Rose. Also, tipping was done with a different set of glitter-encrusted jars, one for each performer.

I had a fine slot, second act opener. Of course that meant I spent the intermission feeling anxious. The line up was Flexx Giselle, Oodles of Troodles, Royal Tee, Stormy Knight, me, Clyf Hangar, Roula Roulette, and Coco Rosé. Our stage kittens were Winter Rose and Stormy Chance. Here we all are!

I felt good about the act. It still isn’t as smooth as I would like, even with the new shoes, but a little of that was performing on carpet. I should just get used to it. I’ve never yet done the act on an uncarpeted stage. My music was nice and loud. The audience was close and they had good energy. I got some lovely compliments afterward, including one woman who said my act was “everything”.

Here’s my favorite shot of the night, by Charles Bailey Photography:

Ever since I’ve known Coco, she’s been obsessed with Sublime Doughnuts, so I just had to try one! Stormy Knight gave me a lift to the nearest shop, and I finally tasted what all the fuss is about. I even managed to bring a couple home with me.

I had been warned to get to the airport extra early in the morning to deal with the construction and monster lines through security. I didn’t mind. It meant I didn’t have to worry about getting to my gate on time. I could stroll though all the art between terminals instead of taking the tram and I had plenty of time for a nice breakfast. By lunch time I was home with Albert.

And I got to scratch off another state and add a new rhinestone to my travel map!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Published in: on 1 May 2019 at 3:42 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I try to make your tips positive rather than negative, that is “dos” instead of “don’ts”. This one, I just couldn’t figure out how to do it…

Never fly Spirit Airlines.

Mercifully, I’m not speaking from personal experience, but I’ve had a remarkable number of friends and loved ones swear off the airline. I know they’re often the cheapest option, but it’s not worth it if you’re constantly inconvenienced.

The complaints I’ve heard ranged from minor — the price wasn’t *that* low once you paid for all the necessary “extras” or the the seats are really uncomfortable — to major ones like seats resold, reservations vanishing, canceled flights with no rebooking for days, &c. And throughout it all the constant thread of poor or non-existent customer service.

When I flew to Atlanta last month (yes, there’s a missive on that trip in the works), I noticed that all the delayed or cancelled flights on the departures board were Spirit. And there were a lot of them. No other carrier had canceled a flight at that time.

So, to put a positive spin on this tip, what should you do instead?

I’m not going to recommend a specific airline, but you should pick one that works well for you, like it flies non-stop to places you often go or has perks you need (like a free checked bag). Fly it whenever you travel and watch your miles add up! If you can maximize your miles (without paying more), do so. I used to have my hotel loyalty program linked to my airline miles, so when I bought an plane ticket I got hotel points and vice versa. (I was so sad when they discontinued that!). Sometimes it’s worth it not to go for the absolute cheapest option to be sure you’ll get to your destination as planned or that someone can help you out when plans go awry.

No airline is perfect, but you can find one that’s better than Spirit!

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 26 April 2019 at 2:37 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Last week we had a pastie-making workshop for our apprentices and it put me in the mind of this tip:

When encrusting your pasties with rhinestones, use a metallic base fabric for extra sparkle.

I made this pastie with gold lamé under all those gold rhinestones. It’s barely noticeable between the stones, but you get more *GOLD* impact than if it were a non-metallic background.

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 19 April 2019 at 3:04 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s a very sad day in the burlesque world. Last night, we lost one of our Legends, Satan’s Angel, The Devil’s Own Mistress, Queen of the Fire Tassels. She was a force of nature and an inspiration to many performers.

I was fortunate enough to meet her a couple of times, most notably at The Great Burlesque Expo in 2008, where she impressed everyone by twirling her fire tassels. “Tatas Flambé”, she called them. Now, she’d been told the venue didn’t allow fire, but that was Angel — she did exactly what she wanted, damn the consequences. Her energy on stage belied her age and years of hard living. I still have not seen anyone work a duster like she did.

Despite her intimidating stage presence, she was quite approachable. She spoke her mind, bluntly and completely unfiltered, and if you were smart, you listened.

Today I want to share some wise words from Mr. Scratch, from when we first learned that Angel was ill:

If you are in the world of burlesque, figure out the legend who is closest to you (I don’t mean geographically; the one who speaks to you as a performer) and reach out to them. Listen to them; learn from them.

We did not invent Burlesque. We inherited it. We cannot keep its flame alive if we do not know what that flame is.

Our Legends are a precious link to our history, and a dwindling resource. Cherish them.

Yours in sorrow,
M2

Published in: on 12 April 2019 at 3:32 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Los Angeles: Burlesque Bingo 1/20/19

Dear Constant Reader,

I know this is the missive you’ve been waiting for — all about the House of Knyle graduation show at Burlesque Bingo!

I was extremely grateful for this opportunity, not only to share a stage with all the women I’d gotten to know through Egypt’s program, but I can’t imagine otherwise performing in one of Audrey DeLuxe’s shows.

The venue was Harvell’s in Long Beach. Lili VonSchtupp had given me some advance info like that the dressing room was good but narrow and that the stage was carpeted and a couple steps up, which allayed a little of my nervousness. The space has a great speakeasy vibe and I can see why there’s a lot of burlesque there.

I was the first to arrive. Scratch volunteered to do whatever was needed and that turned out to be running the follow spot. All the other ladies were staying with and therefore traveling with Egypt. I kind of regretted missing out of the bonding time (and more, as it turned out), but I’m not sorry I chose to spend time with Kitten Natividad. Our Legends are so important. When everyone else arrived they briefed me on the plan for the curtain call and after, whihc they had worked on the night before at Egypt’s. That did have me a little nervous because improvisation dance is not my strength.

Burlesque Bingo works thusly: On the floor perpendicular to the stage is a bingo board, like a very low runway. At the back of the stage is a number board (see photo).
When the performer discards a costume piece, she tosses it onto the board on the floor. One of the Lucky Charms (Audrey’s adorable assistants; also see photo) turns on the light for the corresponding number on the big board and everyone marks their bingo cards accordingly. After the act is over, if no one has bingo, the Lucky Charms begin to disrobe and toss out their garments until bingo is achieved. The bingo winner then comes onto stage to claim their goodie bag of prizes. If more than one person has bingo, everyone gets a chance to roll a giant pink fuzzy die to see who claims the prize. It’s a lot of fun. It was also clear some audience members are all abut the bingo, while others are just there for the burlesque.

I wish I could do a blow by blow of the other acts, but I was more than nervous and rather in my own head most of the night, so I don’t recall a lot of the show. The line up, however, was:
Bebe Bardot
Lilac SaintClair
Dulce D’Jour
CoCo Rose
Crocodile Lightning
Nadia Lotte
Briq House
Mayo Lua de Frenchie
Mina Murray
Twirlisha Devine
Egypt Blaque Knyle

After we each did our acts, Egypt joined us on stage and presented each student with a certificate of completion.

After Egypt’s performance, we each came out in reverse order, still in our pasties, and improvised on stage for a few measures. Eventually we moved into our assigned places, arrayed around the runway, while Egypt performed again. By the end we were all over her. We wouldn’t let her leave the stage until we had presented her with our gift, a large engraved diamond.

I was very touched when Bebe Bardot, who had to race off to the airport immediately after the show, took a few moments to say some kind things about my books. I feel a kinship with this lovely lady — she’s also a scholar of burlesque history, a writer, and a classic sort of gal — so it meant a lot.

All right, I won’t make you wait any longer. Here’s my act:

What did I think? It’s still a little rough. I’m not happy with my facial expressions and I can see all the tension in my shoulders. Those shoes were giving me such trouble, especially with the turns and lunges, and you can see where I so gracefully stumble off the edge of the bingo stage near the end. However, I’m really happy with parts of it and I can see there’s some power there. I’ve since performed it three other times and it just keeps getting better as I’m more comfortable with it and I’m not stressing about trying to impress a mentor (and I got new shoes)

This act, probably more than any other one, had a lot of feedback from a lot of people. Egypt suggested the lunges after the turns (as well as other things). It was Ava’s idea that I start with the back panel draped in front. Originally I dropped to my knees for the floorwork, but Betty said “Can you drop into a plank? You do planks all the time.” Scratch came up with the belt remove. He also edited my music so there was a strong ending instead of a fade-out.

I’m so grateful to Egypt for giving me the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone, to perform in this great show, and to work with these amazing women.

Performance photo by Jason Kamimura Photography
Video by Cliesha

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 9 April 2019 at 4:46 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip:

Consider using music from independent artists.

It can be a nice change of pace to use music from lesser-known artists, particularly local ones. You’re exposing your audience or students to something new and it’s a song probably few other burlesquers are performing to. It’s usually easier to get permission to use the song, and if you need to pay for rights, you’ll know the artists are getting more of the money than if you deal with ASCAP. Also, you may have an opportunity to cross-promote.

A few years ago we had a lot of fun performing with local musician Samantha Farrell. She sang for one of our existing routines and Stella created an act to one her original songs. It was a great creative exchange.

For B.A.B.E.’s recent Chair Dance 201 class, I created the students’ choreography to “Voodoo You” by burlesque performer Melody Sweets. Enjoy this snippet!

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 5 April 2019 at 3:27 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I’m off to Atlanta this weekend to perform in Coco Rosé’s show Evolution. I’m so excited! And now for your tip:

Leave a little looseness in your choreography for taking off costume elements.

Sometimes garments can come off on a precise beat and sometimes…. they need a little coaxing. I’m looking at you, stockings! Build in just a little extra time, so you don’t have to rush on those problematic items.

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 29 March 2019 at 2:49 pm  Leave a Comment  
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