Los Angeles: Tuesday 1/22/19

Dear Constant Reader,

Our last day! You can read about the previous three here, here, and here.

Again Scratch cooked breakfast for the three of us — a delicious vegetable sauté with a lot of spinach — and again, we ate outdoors in the sunshine. I could really get used to that.

Scratch and I set out for one of our favorite places in Los Angeles, the garment district, and met up with the lovely and talented Sheila Starr Siani. I am so happy the we managed to see so many friends on this short trip. I am also pleased at our restraint. We each had proprieties — I needed gloves for B.A.B.E., Sheila wanted rhinestones, and Scratch was hunting for a name necklace for Ava, our newest troupe member — and we all found what we wanted and didn’t even buy too much else. Although I was sorely tempted. I am so jealous of the local performers and the resources for costumes they have available.

After a bite with Sheila, we returned to Kitten’s house to pack for the trip home. I was sorry to be leaving the warmth of the weather and our friends, but I was also missing Mr. Albert pretty badly. Kitten’s kittens are adorable, but more interested in racing around and chasing one another than snuggling and purring.

As a farewell and thank you, we took Kitten out to The Musso and Frank Grill, an old Hollywood classic. We love the timeless, dingy charm and it turned out to be one of Kitten’s favorites too. She used to go there all the time with Russ Meyer. The food is old-school, since the menu hasn’t changed in decades: steaks, lobster thermidor, chicken a la king, &c. I’m told the martinis are excellent and I can personally vouch for the sand dabs (it’s a Pacific flat fish, like sole). But you’re really going there for the history and the feeling of being in another era. I was excited to realize we were there during the centennial year.

After a Caesar salad, I had the fettuccine Alfredo. The story is that Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks had the original dish in Rome and cajoled, begged, and bribed Alfredo into sharing the recipe, which they brought to Musso and Frank. It really was sublime. I usually never order it because most place serve it with a gloppy cream sauce. I’m very picky about my pastas! (just ask me about how carbonara should be made). This was silky, cheesy, and rich without being cloying. I barely made a dent in the huge plate, so Kitten took the rest home. I’m glad all that deliciousness didn’t go to waste.

Then it was time to say our goodbyes and head to LAX for the red-eye back to Boston. Our flight was on-time, but we heard the morning flight, which I had considered taking, had been delayed for six hours. I’m glad Scratch convinced me to take the evening flight — more time in L.A. and no waiting to go home.

I always book an aisle and a window seat for us, hoping that no one wanted the middle seat. If someone did, I end up taking the hit and offering them the window. As the plane filled up, we kept an anxious eye on the empty seat between us. Could it be… a travel miracle? The only vacant seat on the plane was between us! I happily lay down and went to sleep until we arrived in Boston.

And that, dear Reader, is the end of my trip to Los Angeles, but not the end of my story. I still need to tell you all about Burlesque Bingo, the whole reason I was there!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 28 March 2019 at 3:10 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Los Angeles: Monday 1/21/19

Dear Constant Reader,

Here’s my third day in L.A.. You can read about Saturday and Sunday as well. You didn’t miss the part about the show — that comes last.

As would become our pattern for the trip, Scratch took over Kitten’s kitchen to make breakfast. Since I had Cuban food leftover from the day before, he made eggs for himself and Kitten. In case you haven’t been reading for very long, I hate eggs. In general I don’t like a lot of traditional breakfast foods. Diners that advertise breakfast all day are not a draw for me. I’d much rather have dinner food for breakfast than breakfast food for dinner. I know, I’m weird.

Then we set out to the Los Angeles Zoo to meet up with one of Scratch’s long-time friends. I didn’t even know Los Angeles had a zoo! I mean, I knew about San Diego — everyone has heard of that zoo. I’m so glad we went. It was a terrific zoo and so big! Sometimes I’m surprise at how much wilderness there is in a city like L.A.

Our native guide took us through the best parts of the zoo. We saw animals I didn’t even know existed. I was rather taken with this antediluvian-looking critter, a tomistoma (it’s between the rope and the wire, blending in with its surroundings)
There were lots more wonderful animals, including our household favorite, gorillas. I regret I didn’t ride the carousel, but I was pretty tired at the time. There had been a LOT of walking.

Despite the slight chill, it was a lovely sunny day. Which reminds me, the weather was terrible in Boston while we were gone. There was a snowstorm predicted for Saturday night, which was supposed to be bad. Betty Blaize bunked down at The Manor to make sure the weather wouldn’t prevent her from giving Albert his medicine in the morning. She’s a big damn hero.

Later in the evening we met up with my dear friend Professor A. You know those people with whom you just fall right into conversation, even though it’s been ages since you saw each other? She’s one of those. We were having such a good time catching up over a late dinner, that we didn’t want to stop, even though the restaurant was closing up around us. We retired to her charming apartment for tea and sweets she had hand-carried back from her vacation in Lebanon. Eventually it got very late and we reluctantly took our leave. I hope we’re in the same city again soon! I got lucky last year and not only got to visit her after Stripper’s Holiday, but we were also both in New Orleans the previous month.

Kitten had worried that the guest room was going to be cold and mentioned that she wanted to get a space heater. As long as Scratch and I were out, we picked one up for her. It was the least we could do for our generous and lovely hostess. And it made the room very cozy.

One more day!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 28 March 2019 at 3:05 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! This week’s tip is a follow up to last week’s:

Making your own bath products is easy and fun.

Here’s my recipe for a simple bath fizz. This makes about a quarter of a cup and it doubles well.

Base
2 Tbsp. kosher salt
2 Tbsp. Epsom salts
2 Tbsp. baking soda
1 Tbsp. + 1 tsp. citric acid

Then you can customize it with dried herbs and flowers, essential oils, and even color! This is my favorite blend:
2 drops lavender essential oil
2 drops purple food coloring (optional)
1 1/2 tsp. dried lavender

Lavender is very relaxing. Experiment with invigorating citrus or romantic rose. Try mint and/or eucalyptus for when you have a cold.

Moisture will cause premature fizzing, so keep all equipment dry and store bath fizz in a tightly-sealed container.

Place the salts in a bowl, add the essential oil and food coloring and mix well. Add the baking soda and citric acid, then crumble in the herbs.

To use, add a scoop to a warm bath and enjoy the fizz!

And if you don’t want the flowers floating in the water, just use last week’s tip!

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

P.S. That is my bath tub and my vampire mini-rubber ducky. Someday I’ll make an excuse to show you the glorious mosaic that’s just out of frame.

Published in: on 22 March 2019 at 12:26 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Los Angeles: Sunday 1/20/19

Dear Constant Reader,

Here is my second day in Los Angeles. You can read about the first one here.

As I mentioned previously, we were staying with Kitten Natividad and her guest room is a treasure trove. The walls are covered with posters and photographs from her career. She has tons of her movies — on VHS, DVD, and even film. Scratch thought she was just teasing us, since there was no way to watch them. There’s even a doll wearing a replica of one of her signature burlesque costumes. And other wondrous memorabilia, like this memento of Liz Renay. I saw her only once, but she sure left an impression.

I started my day by running my number. I reminded myself that the ceiling in the guest room was low, especially with the heels I was wearing. The music started, I forgot everything else, and WHAM! slammed my hand right into the ceiling. Chipped a couple of nails. I’m such a graceful showgirl.

After figurative licking my paws as though I meant to do that, I joined Scratch and Kitten for breakfast. Scratch took over the kitchen (as he would every morning) and made simple bowls of fresh berries and cream, which we enjoyed in the sunshine of the courtyard, watching Kitten’s kittens play. As Albert was a dignified adult cat when we found him, I forgot kittens don’t really bother with gravity. Here they are trying to scale the pergola. One would get part of the way up and the other would jump up and knock him down. Endless entertainment!

I suggested a stroll through Hollywood Forever Cemetery, which was nearby. But first we went to Larchmont Village to wander their farmer’s market. One of the things I love most about Los Angeles is the amazing produce. I just want to take it all home, but settled for sampling some oranges. Fabulous!

We drove over to Hollywood Forever, but didn’t pick up a map and thus had no idea where we were going. We decided to park over by the lake and that turned out to be the right choice. Right away I saw the very monument I’d been hoping to find! Scratch and I paid our respects to Johnny Ramone. Growing up in NYC, Scratch was fortunate to see the Ramones perform many times. As I had a more sheltered upbringing, this was as close as I ever got to the punk icons.

Wandering about the lake we found graves of many notable industry people — movie stars, directors, and starlets — but one touched me more than the others. This simple marker is a memorial to one of the greatest costume designers of Golden Age Hollywood and a personal inspiration.

On the way out we saw some of the feral cats that have made the cemetery their home. I was taken with this charmer, sunning itself on a headstone. There were a fair number of animals on the grounds — turtles and ducks on the lake, few peacocks wandering around.

Then we went back to the house so I could head over to the Fit & Bendy Studio. I was so excited when Scratch mentioned that Michelle L’amour was teaching a workshop while we were going to be in L.A. It’s called Sex Drive, and that sounded like just the thing I needed right before the big show, so I signed up right away. I quickly checked my email just before I ran out the door (so nice to be mostly unconnected all day) and saw the class was canceled. Michelle was injured and could barely walk. Obviously I was terribly disappointed, but also concerned for her. Injuries are no joke when you make your living being physical.

So instead of working on my sex drive, I joined Scratch and Kitten for a late lunch at a local Cuban restaurant.

I think I may have taken a nap, but soon it was time to head for Long Beach and Burlesque Bingo! I know you all want to heard about the show, but I’m going to make you wait. I’m going to devote an entire missive to the show, but it’s going to come last. Consider it a tease.

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 20 March 2019 at 3:19 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

A simple stocking can make your bath easier to clean up.

A lovely bath is a great way to relax, especially after a show or a rehearsal. It’s even better with a bath bomb, bath salts, or similar additions. Some of them contain herbs, flower petals, and other delights, which can cling to your skin and the bottom of the tub.

Just put your favorite bath bomb or the like into the toe of an old stocking and tie it up. You can loop it over the faucet or let it roam around the tub. The salts will still fizz and dissolve and spread their goodness throughout the water, but the solid stuff will stay put. You’ll get all the benefits of any botanicals without having the bits floating around.

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 15 March 2019 at 3:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Los Angeles: Saturday 1/19/19

Dear Constant Reader,

At last, here it is, my trip to LA to perform with The House of Knyle!

We had a stupid early flight and Betty Blaize went above and beyond the call of friendship by driving us to the airport at 4 in the morning. I have never seen the line for security as long as it was that morning — and I had flown out of the same terminal just a week before. I don’t think it was the government shutdown (yes, this was then), because things were moving along, just SO MANY PEOPLE. It was making me rather anxious. I’m not nervous about flying, but about about missing my flight. I never really relax until I’m through security and at my gate.

Once arrived in sunny (but coolish) California, we headed to my favorite breakfast place, Du-Par’s. I just love their pancakes. As Scratch took the obligatory we’ve-arrived photo, I realized that we always sit at the same table. I am nothing if not a creature of habit. Sitting outside in January was treat, especially knowing a major snowstorm was heading for Boston.

After strolling the Farmers Market and picking up a goodie or two, we were looking for something else to do. I turned to Atlas Obscura and we decided The Museum of Jurassic Technology sounded interesting.

“Interesting” is an understatement. Behind a rather plain facade in Culver City is a wonder. No photos are allowed, so you’ll have to make do with my poor words. The space is mostly very dim, which immediately puts you in a liminal space, surrounded by curious and obscure objects. It’s not so much the items on exhibit are the works of art, but the exhibits themselves are the art. The topics are eclectic, like Ricky Jay’s decaying dice, the history of Russian space dogs, and micro-mosaics. The exhibit design is exquisite and takes advantage of various technologies to enhance the experience. I don’t want to go into details because it might spoil things. Just go. It’s weird and clever and very creative.

By then we were completely overwhelmed and tried to find our way to the tea room, only to discover there was even more museum! It’s much bigger on the inside. Weary from wonder, we stepped into the Russian-style tea room for a restorative glass of tea and cookies. We took our treats out to the wee courtyard garden — almost like a miniature of the Gardener’s — and relaxed while gazing at the doves. As a Classicist and a Deathling both, I was tickled that they had a columbarium, in both senses of the word.

At last we headed for our accommodations. The lovely and generous Kitten Natividad put us up in her charming guest suite overlooking a secluded courtyard, right in Hollywood. I’m so spoiled now — I don’t think I could stay in a hotel. It had been a long day, so I laid down for a nap. We had been thinking about going to a burlesque show that night, but when evening fell, I could not get out of bed and just went back to sleep. I’m so exciting on a Saturday night.

I had mixed feelings about my travel plans. It was a delight to stay with Kitten and spend time with a Legend and Scratch is my favorite traveling companion. However, all my House of Knyle sisters were staying with Egypt. I knew my choices meant I was going to miss out on all that bonding time. On the other hand, given that I was unconscious the entire evening, it might have been for the best that I wasn’t there. : )

More to come!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 13 March 2019 at 2:55 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip!

Spring forward, fall back, and take care of your internal clock too.

If you live somewhere that changes the clocks twice a year, you’re going to lose an hour this weekend, the equivalent of traveling one time zone. It’s perfectly normal to feel slightly jet lagged and it might take a couple of days to adjust. Be aware of it and be kind to yourself.

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 8 March 2019 at 2:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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My Travel Map

Dear Constant Reader,

I love to travel and I especially love to perform when I travel. I’ve been fortunate to see some great parts of North America, some of which I probably wouldn’t have gone to without the performance opportunity.

When I got back from Winnipeg last year, I finally implemented an idea I’d had for a long time — a map for recording my travels and the places I’ve performed.

I wanted one of those scratch-off maps, where you reveal the state you’ve visited. That proved to be more of a challenge that I expected. I wanted one with all of North America, but I could only find either just the US or the entire world and many weren’t detailed enough. I wanted to see cities, not just the shape of the state filled in with pretty colors. I finally found one that satisfied most of my criteria (although it only has the lower part of Canada). And it amuses me that it’s labeled “Scratch USA”.

I’ve revealed all the states and provinces I’ve visited (only being in an airport doesn’t count). These are the colored states; everything in gold is still untrod by my foot. I’ve been to 22 states (and 4 provinces). There’s a whole lot of the country I’ve never seen!

Then, for extra fun, I glued ss12 AB rhinestones over the places I’ve performed burlesque in. Most of the cities were marked on the map, but some required a little consultation with other maps, like Sellinsgrove, PA. Most of the venues in eastern MA all fall under the “Boston” rhinestone, because they’re so close together on the map. I’ve performed in 14 states (and 3 provinces). Here’s the most densely concentrated area of rhinestones:

I really want to add rhinestones to Florida, Illinois, and Washington. Maybe this will be the year!

Here’s my most recent addition — Long Beach, CA, Home of Burlesque Bingo! I promise I will tell you all about it soon.

I’m looking forward to scratching off more states this year. First up is Georgia! I’m so delighted to be performing in Atlanta at
Evolution (The Journey Of Burlesque), presented by my House of Knyle sister, Coco Rosé on Sunday, March 31! I’m not in Atlanta for very long, but let me know if there are any must-see sights or must-eat restaurants and I’ll try to squeeze them in.

Up next, I’ll finally write about my trip to Los Angeles!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! A big welcome to my newest Patron! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 6 March 2019 at 3:44 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Costume Creation

Dear Constant Reader,

The fun part of creating my new act for The House of Knyle mentorship program was the costume. No great shock. I love making costumes. For this act I wanted to go minimal — no gown, no gloves. The picture I had in my head was a panel skirt and bra. I like the contrast of the classic costume and the rock music.

As it turned out, I didn’t have to do too much sewing. I decided to use the bra, hip belt, g-string, and pasties from a Halloween fan dance. The base for all those pieces is black-on-black sequined fabric, which I embellished with jet, hemitite, and black diamond crystals, plus a few silver night skull rhinestones, just for fun.

The bra is a Frederick’s of Hollywood Exxtreme Cleavage push-up. It’s so “exxtreme” that I had to take out the push-up pads. For the fan dance I took off the (removable) straps, but for this act, I put the straps back on and adorned them with large black diamond rhinestones. Despite all my tricks, a couple of stones decided to pop off every time I wore it. I think I finally solved the issue.

The belt is styled after a bellydance hip belt. I love the deep V-shape. I also like how wide it is, that it’s a substantial costume piece, which makes for a nice reveal when it comes off. The only problem with that shape is that the point of the V can roll up. To keep the front nice and flat, I added a piece of boning inside. That does mean if I’m not careful, the whole thing can flip up. Embarrassing!

The G-string is based on the pattern from my book. I used flat elastic instead of tubular and (with Scratch’s assistance) added some additional strappy bits. I also made a set of thigh garters, for that appealing butt definition. The pasties (not shown) are just standard round ones, encrusted with the three colors of rhinestone.

The only thing I needed to make was panels. I already have black and silver lace ones that I use with the belt, but they’re rectangles. I wanted really voluminous panels — a full circle in the back and a half circle in the front. I was thinking red to contrast with the black, but Scratch pointed out that I already had a set of red panels (though not as full and not compatible with the belt). I was hoping to find an impossibility — a fabric with some visual interest *and* a floaty drape. I settled on some wine-colored sheer fabric at 45″ wide. I was all set to buy it when Scratch found an identical fabric over in the draperies section. Same color, same hand, same price per yard, except it was 110″ wide. Score!

Cutting the panels wasn’t too bad. I’m very lucky that Albert isn’t one of those cats who needs to sprawl on fabric. It was hemming them that was going to be a problem. I wanted a tiny rolled hem and I usually do those by hand. A rolled hem is a thing of beauty, but it’s slow going. I had an awful lot of hem and not a lot of time. Fortunately I have a rolled hem foot on my sewing machine. Time to learn how to use it.

Oh my goodness, it was lovely! It made such a beautiful tiny hem! There was hardly even any cursing as I figured out how to use it. Even with the machine, it took me quite a while to get the hems done. It made such a difference rehearsing with the actual costume pieces and all that lovely yardage! I changed some of my choreography to take advantage of them.

I am so happy with how the panels came out! I used the same snap tape as the previous lace panels, so both sets are all compatible with the same belt (this trick was a Friday Tip). By the way, panel skirts are going to be one of the topics for Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Burlesque Costuming, Vol. 2.

Look how fabulous the panels are! (Photo credit: Harlan)

Here’s the tricky part. I decided I needed some bad-ass shoes for the number. My character shoes are too cute; ballroom shoes are too dainty. I really wanted to use the shoes at the right, hand-me-downs from Angie Pontani. I’ve wore them on stage before, but not when I was dancing. I was committed to those shoes, because the panels were hemmed for a 5-inch heel. Even with the shoes on, the panels still touched the floor. I really didn’t want to use a lower heel and risk tripping over them. And I was having problems with the shoes… but more about that later.

I’m incredibly pleased with how the whole outfit came out. I love the wine panels against the rhinestoned black. Now that I’ve mastered the rolled hemmer, I suspect there will be even more panel skirts in my future. Stay tuned, Dear Reader, to (eventually) see how it looked in action!

M2These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 4 March 2019 at 2:39 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip! You’re not seeing things — it’s the same photo from last week. But it’s a whole new tip!

Embellish your bra clasp.

The most functional looking part of your bra is the clasp. If you’re not going to remove it and replace it, like with a ribbon tie, you should decorate it. I like to use rhinestones and make it look like a piece of jewelry. That tactile difference also makes it easier for your fingers to find it behind your back.

M2Like this tip? There are lots more in Miss Mina Murray’s Little Book of Better Burlesque.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page.

Published in: on 1 March 2019 at 2:56 pm  Leave a Comment  
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