Haunted Overload

Dear Constant Reader,

I love October and I love Halloween. This probably comes as no surprise. Usually I’m working much of October at The Wrathskellar, which is a delight, so I’m not (very) sorry about all the other fun things I have to miss. This year, one of the few silver lining of the lack of show is that I got to see my friend Rae at Haunted Overload.

She’s an actor there, but also heavily involved in fabricating the sets and costumes. She’s ridiculously talented and I’ve been dying to see her work in person, but for the past several of years it was not to be (similarly, she’s never seen The Wrathskellar). So, this Saturday we headed up to NH for what might be my only chance to see the haunt in action.

I do like all things spooky and creepy, but I’m not much of a fan of gory or startling. I’m pleased to say Haunted Overload is mostly spooky and creepy with some startling.

I knew going into it that the actors don’t come into physical contact with the patrons (“Touch nothing and nothing will touch you” is the rule), which relieved me a little. When we saw Play Dead in workshops in Vegas and Dusty Summers, as a reanimated corpse, ran her fingers through my hair, I nearly screamed (and if I hadn’t seen her in makeup before the show, I absolutely would have). And Scratch once decked a haunted house actor who thought he could scare the big guy by getting right in his face. So no touching is a good thing with our group.

The haunt is at a farm with delicious treats like cider and donuts (and giant chocolate spiders) to prepare you for the long hike. You’re going to be walking through the woods for about 45 minutes, so dress warmly and wear good shoes. It’s an unguided tour, but the path is clearly marked and if you start to stray an actor will set you aright.

Things start off fairly lightly with a gypsy fortuneteller who is more humorous than haunting. As it turns out she was being played by someone I know, so she called me by name. For the benefit of the group behind us, I loudly wondered “How did she know my name? What amazing powers!”

HO skullAfter stumbling through the vortex (I can’t even describe it), we found ourselves in Pumpkin Alley, facing an enormous wooden skull. I’m not joking about enormous. This picture I lifted from their Facebook page hardly does it justice. NecrotiaThere we found Rae as Necrotia, a zombie pirate (or maybe pirate zombie).

Too quickly, it seemed, we were at the head of the queue and sent through a dark corridor to enter the haunt proper. It was amazing. The sets are very well done, quite detailed. I was thrilled to see many of the pieces I knew Rae had worked on (and I few I didn’t know about, but I recognized her style). And the actors’ costumes and makeup are also excellent. I’m not going to give away too many specifics.

There are several places where you walk through a completely dark building. I found those the most tension-inducing. And there are a *lot* of actors. There are those in the scenes and those wandering creeps who sneak up on you. Probably more of the creeps than really needed. There wasn’t a lot of downtime between startles to let you relax before they spooked you again. As promised, nothing actually touched us. They do sometimes get as close to you as possible, sometimes just walking along side the guests waiting for you to notice their presence. And someone blew on the back of my neck at one point. Yes, I did jump.

I had a particularly bad moment in a building with continuous strobes. Strobes don’t usually bother me, but I found myself terribly disoriented and had to grab onto Scratch’s coat to steady myself. Betty spent most of the time in the dark spaces clutching the back of my jacket.

About 3/4 of the way through, I though “I have had enough.” I was tired of keeping alert for actors who wanted me to scream. I was tired of walking through dark spaces. However, I kept going (what option did I really have?). The final set, a creepy circus, was a spectacular finale and well worth experiencing.

If you like haunted attractions, you really ought to check this one out. If you don’t like to be scared, they have two options: you could go during the day or to “Fright Night Lite”, which has all the sound and lighting effects, just no actors. And the sets really are worth seeing. I’d like to go back for the “Lite” night and really admire Rae’s handiwork.

M2

Published in: on 21 October 2013 at 12:56 pm  Leave a Comment  

Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

As we get closer to Halloween, here’s a tip that’s applicable all year ’round, but especially now.

Consider very strongly before investing in an all-black costume.

We all love black. It’s sexy, slimming, and mysterious. However, details and contrast are often lost. Backdrops in venues are frequently black, making you vanish into the curtain. Also, because there’s low contrast, your gloved hand is going to be invisible against your gown, making your come hither gestures also invisible.

Here’s an illustration:
champagne on ice
Can you see my black stocking against the black curtains in the background? Yeah, me neither.

Combine black with accent colors and your costume will be more versatile and visible.

M2

Published in: on 18 October 2013 at 10:31 am  Leave a Comment  
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Classes at B.A.B.E.

Dear Constant Reader,

I hope you won’t mind a brief commercial plug here. As you know, I run a modest school devoted to teaching ladies of all sorts to tease and tempt. We’ve got a few fabulous classes upcoming!

Every month we teach Introduction to Burlesque. It’s a four-week course that covers all the burlesque basics (and then some). The 90-minute classes are designed to stand alone, so you could take just one to try it out, but it’s more fun with all four (and we have a special Early Bird rate). Take it with Devora Darling on Mondays in November or Mandy on Thursdays in December.

Don’t have time to commit to an entire class series? Burlesque for Beginners will give you a grounding in the fundamentals in just two hours. We’re offering it on Thursday, October 24 at 7-9pm with Stella Diamond.

Once a year we offer Burlesque Your Way, in which Mr. Scratch and I guide students through creating their very own routine. Students who successfully complete the course can perform in The Original Newcomers’ Showcase at the Great Burlesque Exposition in February! The course is 5 weekly classes, starting on Thursday, January 2nd and requires Introduction to Burlesque, Burlesque for Beginners, or the equivalent.

Here are some of the graduates of Burlesque Your Way performing at The Expo in 2012 (photos by Chris McIntosh):

Amber

Amber Bu Táne

Dagny

Dagny Vanderlust

Lana del Legs

Strawberry

Strawberry MILFshake

Gigi

Delilah Spring

Pink Lily

Pink Lily

And speaking of the The Great Burlesque Exposition of 2014, applications to perform close on Halloween! I want to encourage everyone to go. There are amazing performers (including Angie Pontani, Bazuka Joe, and Perle Noire!), excellent classes, tons of shopping, and fun parties. You’ll be totally inspired. It’s a fabulous opportunity to grow as a performer or just enjoy a glitter-drenched weekend. Price for The Whole Shebang (that’s access to absolutely everything*) is currently only $175, but that’s not going to last.

I hope to see you at B.A.B.E. soon!

M2

*except Master Classes

Published in: on 16 October 2013 at 12:12 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s Friday and time for your tip!

Sing your choreography.

This is a trick we picked up from Betty. If you sing the steps of your dance to the tune of your song, they’re easier to remember.

Just the other day we were talking about an act we haven’t done in nearly a year and ended up chorusing “To the right, to the left, bounce in a circle, shoulder shift!” to the tune of “Little Brown Jug”. I can’t hear the opening of Joe Jackson’s “Is You Is Or Is You Ain’t My Baby” without thinking “lunge outward, now turn around, lunge inward, now turn again”.

Try it! It’s fun!

M2

Published in: on 11 October 2013 at 1:35 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The Teaseday Club 10/8/13

Dear Constant Reader,

The Teaseday Club opened again this past Tuesday and again your Faithful Correspondent was in the Box Office. We had quite the crowd, so I was hopping well into the first set. (For future reference, folks, box office and bar open at 7pm, doors open at 7:30, the show actually starts at 8. Getting there at 8:15 and paying with a credit card just annoys everyone.) Mr. Scratch once again hosted the show.

(All photos from Mystic River Studios by Rich Jarvis Photography)

Set 1
Anthony Capobianco opened the show with a little stand-up. I was in the Box Office, still taking tickets at this point, so I missed pretty much all of his routine.
 
 
 
 
 
 
Brigitte Bisoux, reigning Cookie Queen, did a classic glove-and-gown strip to “Tombstone Blues”. Again, I was working, but I’ve seen this one before. As with everything Brigitte does, even the simplest movements look particularly dirty. I was amused that Dita used a version of this song when riding her mechanical bull on Sunday night.
 

Peril S. Curves was an adorable waitress in Sticky Buns. Stella, the stage kitten (in yet another delightful corset), laid out some tarps, which was enough to make me nervous and curious. Persil ices the buns on the table, as you can see in the photo. And then ices her own buns. I was only watching on the monitor, which doesn’t give a good view of the whole performance area, but I gather there was flying frosting everywhere!

Samantha Farrell and her band performed two songs, “Temptation” and one she wrote in honor of Benjamin Franklin. That’s nowhere near as strange as it sounds. By the way, the fellow playing bass next to her is Dave D’aranjo, creator of “The Wrathskellar Theme” and “April’s Blues” (2011).

Set 2
It’s Halloween season, so Delilah Spring of The Tasty Pasties performed “I Put A Spell On You”. Despite the fluffy pink fans, Delilah was uncharacteristically in black. This is a song, by the way, that the Babydolls are prohibited from using. Our very first Halloween show (Out for Blood 2005), I believe every single performer asked Scratch if she could use that song, so nobody got to. And so it stands to this day.

Baseema performed a bellydance with zills (that’s the Turkish name for finger cymbals. Consider the day lost in which you learn nothing.) to “Desert Rose”.

Anthony Capobianco provided some more comedy. This time I was in the audience and could actually hear the set. Honestly, we’ve had funnier at The Teaseday Club.

Scratch pulled a volunteer from the audience to help him demonstrate his super-human sense of smell with a deck of cards. She was a good sport about the whole thing.

Dagny Vanderlust brought a little creepy burlesque with a costume of latex gloves and stockings, a vinyl corset, and bondage tape. She slowly unwound the tape to Canvas Wonderland. Usually the tape is black (like her heart!) but this time it was pink! And Delilah was in black instead of her usual pink. It’s like they swapped for Halloween or something. Craziness!

Set 3
Samantha Farrell played two more songs, Nina Simone’s “Sugar in My Bowl” and a song she wrote called “Shake”, because her mother pointed out she hadn’t written any songs you could “shake your ass to”. My kind of mom. And I believe all the Babydolls do want to shake their asses to that song.

Peril S. Curves also brought a little halloween burlesque with her “Devil Bride”. Check out those amazing boots! The music was “O Fortuna” from the Carmina Burana. Scratch tried to make a little joke about Orff (the composer) being a burlesque dancer, but we never got to hear the punch line because some audience member decided it was time for a history lesson.

Bassema returned with a sword dance to “Un World Mysteriouse”. She’s an amazing sword dancer and is a real treat to watch. Just when you think she’s impressive with one sword, she adds a second.

Brigitte Bisoux closed out the show with “Alcohol”. I think this is one of Brigitte favorite numbers because she gets to wear her beloved Walter (that’s the name of the mink stole) *and* gets to stagger around the stage, smushing people’s faces into her boobs and stealing their drinks. Although, what was up with the people in the front row and their coffee? She likes to grab an audience member’s drink and down it. Seriously, who bring a cup of Dunks to a cabaret? Especially one with a bar. Anyway, it was a ton of fun to see her in her element.

And who won The Great Teaseday Cookie?

Samantha Farrell*! You’ll see her again next month.

The Teaseday Club is moving to the FIRST Tuesday of the month, so the next meeting will be November 5th. Remember, remember!

M2
* Yes, Brigitte was the runner-up. It was a difference of a single ticket. Don’t forget to support your favorite performer when you buy a ticket, it could be you that makes her (or him) a winner!

Published in: on 10 October 2013 at 11:43 am  Comments (2)  
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Strip, Strip, Hooray

Dear Constant Reader,

Yesterday The Boston Babydolls canceled Sunday rehearsal for the first time in ages. Why?

ditaticket

When Dita comes to town, everything stops. When planning The Wrathskellar (alas), we didn’t schedule a show on this day. There’s no reason to compete with the biggest burlesque act in her Boston debut.

When we Babydolls go out together, we like to make it clear we’re all together. We decided to all wear black and red and met at Eastern Standard for dinner in the Corio Lounge. It was a little tricky squeezing 7 of us around two tiny tables and having a few friends with the same pre-show plan drop by for a little socializing, but we like having dinner in the shadow of Her Majesty, The Queen.

Fortunately, the rain had stopped by the time we arrived at the House of Blues to stand on the *very* long line. There were many well-dressed people, but I was a little aghast at some women’s choice of foot wear, seeing as we were going to be standing all evening. Betty and I were wearing trusty and well-worn Fluevogs, both stylish and comfortable.

We managed to stake out a spot relatively down front, although very stage right. And waited for the show to start. And waited. I know it was after 8:30, but I didn’t check the exact start time. I only mention this because at this point we’d already been on our feet for more than an hour and a half. Thank goodness for comfortable and stylish shoes.

The show is hosted by Murray Hill, who I’ve seen many times before.

Dita, of course, opened the show with her Martini Glass act. I’m a sucker for men’s wear on women (as you know if you’ve seen some of my acts) and her tuxedo was exquisitely tailored.

Natasha “La Cholita” Estrada performed a high-energy flamenco in a dazzling ruffled costume. I think she provided the only tassel twirling of the evening, which she did with blinding speed. So fast, in fact, that she lost one of her pasties.

Lada Nikolska comes from The Crazy Horse in Paris and performed a sensual number from that show, rolling about on a couch shaped like lips. Near the end, she removed her panties while behind the couch and then lay on the top, screening herself with her thigh. Very hot. We were then surprised when she slithered down onto the couch, revealing herself sans even a merkin.

Selene Luna roared out on a diminutive motorcycle and rocked out. For a little person, she has a big presence.

Then Dita was back with her Rhinestone Cowgirl act. I knew about the mechanical bull and the encrusted costume, but I wasn’t prepared for the glittering pink tumbleweed or cactus. We were awfully amused that her bullriding music was Brigitte’s favorite “Tombstone Blues”.

During intermission I made a quick trek to check out the merch table which ran the range from $5 pens to $300 Olivia prints.

Dita opened the second half with her Bird of Paradise act. As a fan dancer, I was interested to see that she didn’t really tease with the fans. There was no conceal and reveal; she mostly used them for framing.

Monsieur Romeo from Paris was the first boylesque performer of the night with a teasing remove of his suit, cigarette never moving from his lips throughout. I thought the sexiest moment was when he held up his hand to show a wedding band and then slowly slid it off his finger. I found the ending a bit odd.

Then Murray Hill Challenge. My least favorite part of the show, but it’s part of his schtick. The winner was a woman who mentioned that she had just married her girlfriend. In addition to the regular prize (an autographed picture of Murray Hill), Dita invited them to meet her after the show. Nice!

I had no idea what to expect from Prince Poppycock. He burst out in 18th century finery, singing (actually singing — the previous 2 acts with vocals were pre-recorded) an aria from “The Barber of Seville”, while he stripped. Near the climax of the act, he gestured enthusiastically, knocking off his enormous powdered wig and his microphone with it. He just kept going, singing silently while he yanked off his wig cap and fluffed his real hair. The stage kitten (one of the Vonterage, as they were called) quickly tried to disentangle the microphone, but Murray Hill rushed on with a handheld first. It was a lovely example of keeping one’s cool in face of a potential on-stage disaster.

Perle Noire was a huge highlight of the show. I could see the Babydolls falling in love. Her strip was very good, very engaging, but her Josephine Baker-inspired banana dance was *amazing*. So high energy and acrobatic. Just dynamite.

The Opium Den closed out the show. It was everything I expected, except for the sightlines. We were standing to the stage right side of the stage and for the sequence when Dita is groped by red-gloved hands, she was standing in the back of her setpiece, stage right. The front column blocked much of the action for us. Fortunately, we got Betty to move forward so she could actually see her kindred spirit a little.

After a run to the merch table to get a program and a moment or two to chat with Murray Hill, it was after 11 and we departed, quite footsore, despite our sensible (yet stylish!) footwear, but thoroughly inspired.

M2

Published in: on 7 October 2013 at 3:18 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

Thank you all for the messages of support and sympathy about our venue woes. The W. R. Athskellar Cabinet of Curiosities will be seen someday, just not this October.

On to your Friday tip!

It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.

I’m quoting Jimmy Dugan from A League of Their Own which Scratch thinks is the greatest movie about burlesque* ever. He frequently identifies with the Rockford Peaches’ manager and quotes him often.

M2
* And the greatest baseball movie too. I respectfully disagree in that Bull Durham is the greatest baseball movie.

Published in: on 4 October 2013 at 2:19 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A Letter We Never Wanted to Send

Dear Constant Reader,

I wish I wasn’t sharing this letter from Mr. Scratch.

It is with heavy heart we announce that we are forced to cancel all show dates for “The W. R. Athskellar Cavalcade of Curiosities” at this time.

The venue does not have the proper permits to allow us to perform there, and while they have been working on it for some time, it is clear they will not be in compliance with the the City of Somerville in time for us to open on Thursday — and they cannot give us a firm date as to whether they will open this month at all.

It is possible we will be able to reschedule for a later time in the year, but at this time all tickets are being refunded.

This is the first time in The Boston Babydolls long history that we have had to do anything like this. I fervently hope it will be our last.

We can neither express my level of frustration and disappointment with this turn of events, nor my gratitude to the performers and crew who have put in many hours putting together what would have been a spectacular show. I’m also grateful to all of you who purchased tickets and it is my fondest wish that we will be able to put on this truly unique and amazing show at some point in the future. If we do, you’ll be the first to know.

My thanks and apologies,

-=Scratch & The Boston Babydolls

Sorrowfully,
M2

Published in: on 2 October 2013 at 8:05 am  Leave a Comment  

Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

I know I’ve been away from my writing desk for ages. I will try to find some time to let you know all about what’s been going on with The W.R. Athskellar Cavalcade of Curiosities.

Today’s tip comes from poet Shel Silverstein:

Some kind of help is the kind of help that helping’s all about. And some kind of help is the kind of help we all can do without.

I think we’ve all found ourselves either giving or receiving that second kind of help…

M2

Published in: on 27 September 2013 at 12:28 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Friday Tip!

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I’m sorry for the lack of epistles, but things have been a little frantic as we get ready for The W. R. Athskellar Cavalcade of Curiosities. More frantic than planned, but that’s a story for another time.

Today’s tip is about bras and it’s not just for the burlesque performer.

Your bra’s band should go straight across your back. If it rises up between your shoulder blades, it’s too big.

Too often ladies compensate for a band that’s too loose by tightening up the shoulder straps more, which only compounds the problem. A properly fitting band should be snug, but you should still be able to slip one finger under it. The shoulder straps should never be cutting into your flesh.

M2

Published in: on 20 September 2013 at 11:02 am  Leave a Comment  
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